From the Trenches

Merry Christmas from the Riebens!

2011-12-25T21:16:00.002-05:00

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

2011-12-21T20:03:00.003-05:00

Some kids put pillows in their shirts.

Mine prepare dossiers!

Life is sweeter dipped in chocolate

2011-12-14T23:02:00.003-05:00

In November, we raised $1160 for Morgan's grant fund with your help.

AMAZING!

But, with a month remaining for Reece's Rainbow's Angel Tree, we wondered if there was more that we could do for our sweet Christmas angel.

Last week I sat down with my little "Board of Directors" and we decided that we would sell Christmas goodies on Morgan's behalf. We determined what goodies we would make and sell and then we got to work. We made fliers and order forms that we handed out to friends and family so that they could help us in our efforts and we gathered our supplies.

My mom is an Intervention Specialist and AP History teacher at a local Catholic High School. On Monday, she went to work, armed with our fliers and order forms and shared Morgan's story with her coworkers and students. Several orders were placed and last night we got to work filling them.

We decided to deliver the goodies personally, so this morning I loaded the kids into the van and we drove over to the high school and met my mom on her lunch break. We began distributing goodies to those who had purchased them and each time we delivered a goody, the kids sang a Christmas carol to the recipient (their song of choice was "The Shepherds Carol").

While we were singing, another teacher heard us and invited us into her classroom to sing to her students. When the kids had finished singing, we explained that we were raising money for Morgan's grant fund by selling Christmas goodies. After sharing this with the class, the teacher turned to her students and asked them how they would feel about donating their "collection" to Morgan's grant fund. I soon learned that this class had been collecting money throughout the month of December that they planned to donate to a charity. The class wholeheartedly agreed that the money should be given to Morgan and I watched, humbled, as they passed their collection jar around the room one last time before handing it to the kids.

Before we left the school today we had collected almost $300 for Morgan's grant fund and my children were excited and amazed at how many people had given so generously to "their" boy! What a testimony!

Life is so much sweeter dipped in chocolate and filled with Christ-like love!

"How to Be The Village" by Jen Hatmaker

2011-12-06T09:58:00.002-05:00

I love Jen Hatmaker.

I love her because she is not afraid of being radically different from the rest of the world. I love her because she doesn't settle for the mediocre. I love her for plainly stating things EXACTLY how they are!

She recently wrote a post on her blog entitled, "How to Be The Village." I laughed. I cried. She took the words (that I can never seem to find) right out of my mouth.

She breaks this "Field Guide to Supporting Adoptive Families" down into two categories: "Before the Airport" and "After the Airport."

Our family is firmly in BOTH stages at the moment and, because I can never seem to find the words (or the time) to tell it exactly as it is, I'm going to let Jen do the talking for me:

Supporting Families Before the Airport

Your friends are adopting. They’re in the middle of dossiers and home studies, and most of them are somewhere in the middle of Waiting Purgatory. Please let me explain something about WP: It sucks in every way. Oh sure, we try to make it sound better than it feels by using phrases like “We’re trusting in God’s plan” and “God is refining me” and “Sovereignty trumps my feelings” and crazy bidness like that. But we are crying and aching and getting angry and going bonkers when you’re not watching. It’s hard. It hurts. It feels like an eternity even though you can see that it is not. It is harder for us to see that, because many of us have pictures on our refrigerators of these beautiful darlings stuck in an orphanage somewhere while we’re bogged down in bureaucracy and delays.

How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:

1. “God’s timing is perfect!” (Could also insert: “This is all God’s plan!” “God is in charge!”) As exactly true as this may be, when you say it to a waiting parent, we want to scratch your eyebrows off and make you eat them with a spoon. Any trite answer that minimizes the struggle is as welcomed as a sack of dirty diapers. You are voicing something we probably already believe while not acknowledging that we are hurting and that somewhere a child is going to bed without a mother again. Please never say this again. Thank you.

2. “Are you going to have your own kids?” (Also in this category: “You’ll probably get pregnant the minute your adoption clears!” “Since this is so hard, why don’t you just try to have your own kids?” “Well, at least you have your own kids.”) The subtle message here is: You can always have legitimate biological kids if this thing tanks. It places adoption in the Back-up Plan Category, where it does not belong for us. When we flew to Ethiopia with our first travel group from our agency, out of 8 couples, we were the only parents with biological kids. The other 7 couples chose adoption first. Several of them were on birth control. Adoption counts as real parenting, and if you believe stuff Jesus said, it might even be closer to the heart of God than regular old procreation. (Not to mention the couples that grieved through infertility already. So when you say, “Are you going to have your own kids?” to a woman who tried for eight years, then don’t be surprised if she pulls your beating heart out like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.)

3. For those of you in Christian community, it is extremely frustrating to hear: “Don’t give up on God!” or “Don’t lose faith!” It implies that we are one nanosecond away from tossing our entire belief system in the compost pile because we are acting sad or discouraged. It’s condescending and misses the crux of our emotions. I can assure you, at no point in our story did we think about kicking Jesus to the curb, but we still get to cry tears and feel our feelings, folks. Jesus did. And I’m pretty sure he went to heaven when he died.

4. We’re happy to field your questions about becoming a transracial family or adopting a child of another race, but please don’t use this moment to trot out your bigotry. (Cluelessness is a different thing, and we try to shrug that off. Like when someone asked about our Ethiopian kids, “Will they be black?” Aw, sweet little dum-dum.) The most hurtful thing we heard during our wait was from a black pastor who said, “Whatever you do, don’t change their last name to Hatmaker, because they are NOT Hatmakers. They’ll never be Hatmakers. They are African.” What the??? I wonder if he’d launch the same grenade if we adopted white kids from Russia? If you’d like to know what we’re learning about raising children of another race or ask respectful, legitimate questions, by all means, do so. We care about this and take it seriously, and we realize we will traverse racial landmines with our family. You don’t need to point out that we are adopting black kids and we are, in fact, white. We’ve actually already thought of that.

5. Saying nothing is the opposite bad. I realize with blogs like this one, you can get skittish on how to talk to a crazed adopting Mama without getting under her paper-thin skin or inadvertently offending her. I get it. (We try hard not to act so hypersensitive. Just imagine that we are paper-pregnant with similar hormones surging through our bodies making us cry at Subaru commercials just like the 7-month preggo sitting next to us. And look at all this weight we’ve gained. See?) But acting like we’re not adopting or struggling or waiting or hoping or grieving is not helpful either. If I was pregnant with a baby in my belly, and no one ever asked how I was feeling or how much longer or is his nursery ready or can we plan a shower, I would have to audition new friend candidates immediately.

Here’s what we would love to hear Before the Airport:

1. Just kind, normal words of encouragement. Not the kind that assume we are one breath away from atheism. Not the kind that attempt to minimize the difficulties and tidy it all up with catchphrases. We don’t actually need for you to fix our wait. We just want you to be our friend and acknowledge that the process is hard and you care about us while we’re hurting. That is GOLD. I was once having lunch with my friend Lynde when AWAA called with more bad news about Ben’s case, and I laid my head down on the table in the middle of Galaxy Café and bawled. Having no idea what to do with such a hot mess, she just cried with me. Thank you for being perfect that day, Lynde.

2. Your questions are welcomed! We don’t mind telling you about the court system in Ethiopia or the in-country requirements in Nicaragua or the rules of the foster system. We’re glad to talk about adoption, and we’re thankful you care. I assure you we didn’t enter adoption lightly, so sharing details of this HUGE PIECE OF OUR LIVES is cathartic. Plus, we want you to know more because we’re all secretly hoping you’ll adopt later. (This is not true.) (Yes it is.)

3. When you say you’re praying for us and our waiting children, and you actually really are, not only does that soothe our troubled souls, but according to Scripture, it activates the heavens. So pray on, dear friends. Pray on. That is always the right thing to say. And please actually do it. We need people to stand in the gap for us when we are too tired and discouraged to keep praying the same words another day.

4. If you can, please become telepathic to determine which days we want to talk about adoption and which days we’d rather you just show up on our doorstep with fresh figs from the Farmer’s Market (thanks, Katie) or kidnap us away in the middle of the day to go see Bridesmaids. Sometimes we need you to make us laugh and remember what it feels like to be carefree for a few hours. If you’re not sure which day we’re having, just pre-buy movie tickets and show up with the figs, and when we answer the door, hold them all up and ask, “Would you like to talk for an hour uninterrupted about waiting for a court date?” We’ll respond to whichever one fits.

Supporting Families After the Airport

You went to the airport. The baby came down the escalator to cheers and balloons. The long adoption journey is over and your friends are home with their new baby / toddler / twins / siblings / teenager. Everyone is happy. Maybe Fox News even came out and filmed the big moment and “your friend” babbled like an idiot and didn’t say one constructive word about adoption and also she looked really sweaty during her interview. (Really? That happened to me too. Weird.)

How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:

1. I mean this nicely, but don’t come over for awhile. Most of us are going to hole up in our homes with our little tribe and attempt to create a stable routine without a lot of moving parts. This is not because we hate you; it’s because we are trying to establish the concept of “home” with our newbies, and lots of strangers coming and going makes them super nervous and unsure, especially strangers who are talking crazy language to them and trying to touch their hair.

2. Please do not touch, hug, kiss, or use physical affection with our kids for a few months. We absolutely know your intentions are good, but attachment is super tricky with abandoned kids, and they have had many caregivers, so when multiple adults (including extended family) continue to touch and hold them in their new environment, they become confused about who to bond with. This actually delays healthy attachment egregiously. It also teaches them that any adult or stranger can touch them without their permission, and believe me, many adoptive families are working HARD to undo the damage already done by this position. Thank you so much for respecting these physical boundaries.

3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.

4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.

5. If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair aaaaaaaall so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.

6. Please do not disappear. If I thought the waiting stage was hard, it does not even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. Never have I felt so isolated and petrified. Never have I been so overwhelmed and exhausted. We need you after the airport way more than we ever needed you before. I know you’re scared of us, what with our dirty hair and wild eyes and mystery children we’re keeping behind closed doors so they don’t freak out more than they already have, but please find ways to stick around. Call. Email. Check in. Post on our Facebook walls. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.

Here’s what we would love to hear or experience After the Airport:

1. Cook for your friends. Put together a meal calendar and recruit every person who even remotely cares about them. We didn’t cook dinners for one solid month, and folks, that may have single handedly saved my sanity. There simply are not words to describe how exhausting and overwhelming those first few weeks are, not to mention the lovely jetlag everyone came home with. And if your friends adopted domestically right up the street, this is all still true, minus the jetlag.

2. If we have them, offer to take our biological kids for an adventure or sleepover. Please believe me: their lives just got WHACKED OUT, and they need a break, but their parents can’t give them one because they are 1.) cleaning up pee and poop all day, 2.) holding screaming children, 3.) spending all their time at doctors’ offices, and 4.) falling asleep in their clothes at 8:15pm. Plus, they are in lockdown mode with the recently adopted, trying to shield them from the trauma that is Walmart.

3. Thank you for getting excited with us over our little victories. I realize it sounds like a very small deal when we tell you our kindergartener is now staying in the same room as the dog, but if you could’ve seen the epic level of freakoutedness this dog caused her for three weeks, you would understand that this is really something. When you encourage us over our incremental progress, it helps. You remind us that we ARE moving forward and these little moments are worth celebrating. If we come to you spazzing out, please remind us where we were a month ago. Force us to acknowledge their gains. Be a cheerleader for the healing process.

4. Come over one night after our kids are asleep and sit with us on our porch. Let me tell you: we are all lonely in those early weeks. We are home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, church. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, community group. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring an expensive bottle of wine.

5. If the shoe fits, tell adopting families how their story is affecting yours. If God has moved in you over the course of our adoption, whether before the airport or after, if you’ve made a change or a decision, if somewhere deep inside a fire was lit, tell us, because it is spiritual water on dry souls. There is nothing more encouraging than finding out God is using our families for greater kingdom work, beautiful things we would never know or see. We gather the holy moments in our hands every day, praying for eyes to see God’s presence, his purposes realized in our story. When you put more holy moments in our hands to meditate on, we are drawn deeper into the Jesus who led us here.

Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle and celebrate and cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful, and a thousand times we’ve looked at each other and said, “What if we would’ve said no?” God invited us into something monumental and lovely, and we would’ve missed endless moments of glory had we walked away. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God who heals and actually sets the lonely in families, just like He said He would. And even through the tears and tantrums (ours), we look at our children and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.

Because that day you brought us pulled pork tacos was the exact day I needed to skip dinner prep and hold my son on the couch for an hour, talking about Africa and beginning to bind up his emotional wounds. When you kidnapped me for two hours and took me to breakfast, I was at the very, very, absolute end that morning, but I came home renewed, able to greet my children after school with fresh love and patience. When you loved on my big kids and offered them sanctuary for a night, you kept the family rhythm in sync at the end of a hard week.

Thank you for being the village. You are so important.

Thank you Jen for taking the time to, once again, be a voice for adoptive families and their children!

Humbled (Giveaway Winners)

2011-11-30T22:01:00.002-05:00

I love when the Lord shows off.

It is humbling.

Awe inspiring.

Amazing.

Remember that goal we set to get Morgan's grant fund to the $500 mark by the close of the giveaway?

Well, we blew that out of the water!

In fact, in the past 24 hours alone you have donated over $500!

AMAZING!

I do not know yet the current total of Morgan's grant (donations via Chipin must be entered by hand so it may take a few days for them to show up in Morgan's fund), but I can tell you that it is well over the $1000 mark!

I am humbled by your generosity. I am grateful for your willingness to stand upon the rooftops and shout for those who do not have a voice. I am blessed to be surrounded by so many of the Lord's faithful servants.

Thank you all for standing with me this month in defense of the fatherless!

YOU. ARE. AMAZING!

And now, what you have all been waiting for! The winners of our Adoption Awareness Giveaway are. . . . . . .

MICHELLE TURNER
($100 Amazon Gift Card)

and

ANGEL MCGARRAH
(Kindle Fire)

I am humbled. I am amazed. I am inspired. Thank you ALL who donated, shared and prayed. Together, we ARE making a difference in the lives of orphans throughout the world!

The Villemure Family

2011-11-30T08:18:00.006-05:00

This summer I had the wonderful opportunity and privilege of meeting an online friend and fellow Bulgarian adoptive parent, Yvonne Villemure, and her two amazing children, Connor and Elina. It has been such a blessing to know Yvonne and her children. A few weeks ago the Villemure's committed to welcoming two new members into their family! I invite each of you to take the time to learn more about this incredible family and take part in their newest adventure to bring two little boys home from Russia!

The Villemure Family:

Thank you for allowing me to introduce my growing family. In 2006, after nearly 4 years of infertility treatment and many losses, I gave birth to my very sweet Connor. The pregnancy to bring Connor into the world was woven with fear, despair and loss because I lost his twin at 10 weeks into the pregnancy. He is my medical miracle baby born thru a very costly procedure called egg donor in-vitro fertilization. Prior to Connor's arrival my then husband was not very open to adoption. Meaning he would entertain conversations to pacify my need to be a mother. Shortly after Connor was born my marriage dissolved and I evaluated my life and my goals and desires. For 18 months I considered what I wanted. I knew I wanted to build my family but I felt carrying a pregnancy to term was too risky for Connor to be without a mom because I nearly lost everything by having Connor naturally. Thank goodness for my wonderful doctors, they literally saved my life.

Since having a natural born child would prove too risky, I began to consider adoption again. I fought a good fight to convince my ex-husband this was how God intended for my family to be formed. I soon began researching and felt the adoption world slipping thru my fingers, I settled on Guatemala then is closed, China was already closed, then I settled on Kyrgystan and just prior to making a decision on agency it closed... I was losing heart and direction. Then one afternoon I spoke to an agency with a program in Bulgaria and I immediately found my heart. Within a few weeks I saw my sweet Elina's profile. The moment I saw her I knew, my heart sang but I needed to spend the weekend to really know that I would be the best mother for her. That I had the ability to parent a child missing both legs, one above the knee and the other below the knee. I am not certain what the driving force was fate, destiny or pure heavenly intervention, but Elina was meant to be my daughter I know that with every ounce of my being. She came home in March 2010 and was a little over 5.5 years old, she spoke little English, but I could see that she was going to add spice to my life. Elina is now 7.5 years old, she is my spunky monkey. We have found our way thru the valley or grief and pain in a little ones heart who lived with changing shifts of caregivers for 5.5 years. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain and the terrorizing fear that a child goes thru when their walls come down, when they want to trust but don't have the capacity to understand what trust is. I can attest that it has been over 4 months without an adoption meltdown. Knock on wood... I really hope I didn't jinx it! Elina now has the ability to connect her actions with how she emotionally feels and even find the source of her poor choice. For example, choosing to ignore, recently when she received a time in after being asked to pick her coat up about a half dozen times I asked her to find the source. She ended up connecting her behavior to having multiple caregivers and ignoring their requests, her words "Because why should it matter mom? They walked away and the next person didn't know what they told me so I would ignore their requests too."

So now that I feel Elina is very secure in her attachment and her place in our family, I have decided to step onto another path of adoption. I debated on domestic, going to Bulgaria or possibly Russia. I felt as a single parent I could only parent a healthy child, that ruled out Bulgaria. So Russia or domestic, which one? I have struggled with the decision for over a year now. Then I looked at Reece's Rainbow for the hundredth time in a week and saw a little boy and I began to explore the adoption of a HIV+ child. I saw him as my child, he looked like my Connor, my little boy who welcomed "sister" home with open arms. Another family stepped forward for him before I made a final decision and I ran the other way into the domestic realm. No matter how many agencies and facilitators I spoke to I know my heart was in international adoption and one day my friend Viviane began asking me about this SN child or that one. That conversation led me to Reece's Rainbow again and soon I looked into big blue eyes and knew "Danny" was my son maybe I should have stopped there but I kept looking and I was sweet "Dante". I struggled with the decision for two days of which boy I would choose to be my son. I barely slept, couldn't concentrate, kept looking into their eyes asking something to stand out as a reason to pick one or the other. Then on the third night I went to sleep with a finally prayer for God to guide me in my decision. I "gave it up to God" and I woke serene and knew the answer. Both boys were my sons, there was no reason to choose as God had intended both boys to be my sons. My son is on cloud nine to be getting two brothers. I find it ironic that in September, before I began discussing adoption with my children, that Connor brought a preschool project home of a hand and arm cut out of brown construction paper, the hand cut out was the trunk of the tree. Connor placed a green leaf on each of the branches (fingers) they said mommy, sister (he only calls her sister not Elina), Connor, Matthew and Jacob. So I asked, "Connor, who is Matthew and Jacob?" Connor responded, with a duh Mom don't you know expression, "They are my brothers." What was I thinking?

So let me introduce you to my boys "Danny" and "Dante".

Please follow along on our journey and post comments on their blog: http://withloveourgivingtreegrows.blogspot.com/

I have begun fundraising efforts, please help my boys come home. Maybe buy Pampered Chef items for gifts for Christmas, purchase puzzle pieces for the boys to know you were part of their journey, or donate to their grant funds on Rainbow (tax deductible and paid directly to the agency for their fees).

Adoption Q&A with Richard

2011-11-29T22:33:00.008-05:00

Can you relate your experience and any advice you have on adopting out of birth order?

Valerie already addressed this in another set of blog entries and I must admit, she was spot-on in her observations. Adopting out of birth order is something that prospective adoptive parents should consider. However, no one is truly an expert on this any more than the parents, who should evaluate their own family architecture and individual personalities, needs, and developmental states.

In our situation I feel the fact that our first three children were triplets made a lot of “normal” transitions much easier for our children to bear. Namely, they were used to sharing everything including the love and attention of parents long before other adoptive children were introduced into the mix.

As the provider of the family, can you share how you dealt with the mountain of adoption fees? Was that part a struggle (coming to terms with it and how you would raise the funds with all the expenses a large family already incurs)?

“Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life.” ~Michael Leboeuf

Ever since the first utterances of the concept of international adoption, money has been a concern. Money was a major concern for the adoptions of Evan and Joshua – Joshua’s adoption in fact would not have been impossible without the support of family members who supported us through some tough times as I was still trying to get on my feet with my career here in Ohio. Over the years coming up with the money has grown easier as my career has progressed and things have become more stable as we’ve been able to pay off adoption debt.

I will emphasize that at times the financial strain was significant, and the reality of international adoption is that they are expensive and often times it causes you to do things that a normal person would not do (like flying to Ukraine with $10,000 in your pants.)

How did we pay for adoptions? Well let’s break it down – we have completed 5 adoptions which included 6 overseas trips (1 to Uzbekistan, 2 to Ukraine and 3 to Bulgaria). We’ve expended roughly $60,000 (not including current adoption). At the peak, we had amassed around $25,000 in adoption related debt (YIKES!) in the form of an adoption loan and credit card debt. Some people import cars – we import kids – it’s all about perspective.

How do I cope with it? Well, I can’t really say that it’s anything magical. There are four main sources of paying for an international adoption – let’s take a look at them.

1 – Your own two hands. Want to adopt? Get a better job, get a second job, do whatever it takes to make the money on your own without going into debt. During our adoptions I did a few different things to raise money by working a second job – in one case I purchased the IT assets of a company going out of business and sold all the equipment on eBay, Craigslist, and at hamfests (if you don’t know what a hamfest is google it.) It took some investment but I was able to make about $10k in profit with only $2,000 invested. Did we avoid all debt in our adoption efforts? Heck no. But it was better than relying only on the other three sources.

2 – Talk to your family. Hopefully your family is supportive of your endeavors and is willing to support you in some way – be it child care, financial support, fundraising assistance, etc. If your family can afford to provide financial assistance, ensure that they funnel the money through a non-profit (such as Reece’s Rainbow) or make use of tax laws that permit gifts to children – these will help family members benefit from their donation. Across the 5 adoptions we’ve done, approximately 10% of the funding came from family members – in most cases it was in response to a specific need (i.e. paying for flights).

3 – Fundraisers. I loathe fundraisers, but that’s because I’m a guy and I’m all prideful and such about not collecting handouts from friends, family, etc. However there is a reality to this – in many cases friends, family and even people who only know you as a distant acquaintance on facebook are genuinely interested in supporting you in your adoption efforts. Fundraisers can be an excellent way to say to those around you “hey, I know you may or not be interested, but if you are, we’re doing a fundraiser and would appreciate any support.” We were always amazed at the blessings and support offered by friends and we raised around $10,000 across all five adoptions. I’m not an expert on running fundraisers, but Val is – so if you need help determining how to raise funds talk to her.

4 – Debt. Debt is a four letter word. And if you go into debt, chances are your use of other four letter words will increase. This could include loans, credit cards, or anything of the sort. Like I said – we picked up nearly $25,000 in adoption related debt that was spread between a loan and a credit card. Remember those horror stories about credit card interest rates skyrocketing at the whim of the bank and credit limits getting cut? Well both of those things happened to us, and twice I had to call up the bank after they cut our limit after paying off several thousand on the card in preparation for purchasing plane tickets. Grrrrr. But we had no one to blame but ourselves… we made a decision to adopt, and to go into debt and we had to deal with it. The good news is that we knew the debt was an issue all along, and we had the fire, determination and the capacity to eliminate the debt very quickly. If you go into debt (or are in debt for any reason) I HIGHLY recommend reading any of Dave Ramsey’s materials – I listened to his show and it kept me motivated to pay off our debt. Ultimately, we paid off all of our adoption debt with the help of the recent change in the adoption tax credit and had enough cash left over to pay down most of our van loan and we stashed aside enough cash to cover our current adoption effort in full with only minimal fundraising – mainly because as I said above, family and friends have asked how they can help.

The money was always a struggle – as the one who earns all of the salary income in the home, I felt a huge burden that many times I felt Valerie did not understand. Making the decision to go into debt for an adoption was a tough one for me, but we were continually blessed as we went through the process. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that we have been blessed for our willingness to care for those who are in need of an eternal family.

What advice do you have as a father of 8 kids trying to make ends meet while trying to adopt?

Get Planning. Develop a plan for the adoption – break the adoption process out on paper (or in a spreadsheet) and start planning the various phases and steps. Set a schedule (I know, many aspects of the schedule are beyond your control – make it sequential) and lay out the finances – figure out what money you need and when you will need it. Figure out how you can meet the schedule and financial requirements with a combination of your own money, family support, fundraising, and last of all… debt. But if debt is required, make sure you have at least have a tentative plan for how to handle that debt on the back end of the adoption, and then once the adoption is complete attack and eliminate that debt with every fiber of your being.

Get an accountant. Seriously. Unless you are an accountant by trade there is no way on this green earth that you are able to stay fully up to date with 100% of the tax implications of having a family with a complicated tax situation. In our case we deal with mortgage interest, owning rental property, international adoptions, children with significant medical needs, numerous trips to philly for medical care, charitable donations and more. I pay less than $400 each year for my accountant to do my taxes and I can email him whenever I have a question – we’ve been audited twice because of our unusual tax situation and having a personal accountant in my court saved me countless hours of dealing with the IRS. Some people knock this idea, but in our situation I’m confident that the $400 I spend each year getting my taxes done is more than made up for in the amount of additional returns and minimized hassle.

Get frugal. Learn how to do more with less. I am a huge fan of Clark Howard (consumer advocate), Dave Ramsey (Debt Elimination Guru) as well as shopping online using sites like slickdeals.net and dealnews.com – we also have an Amazon Prime account (worth every penny even if you have to pay for it.) We shop at Sam’s Club for food and Goodwill for clothes for the kids (and for me to wear to work.) Valerie and I each have an inexpensive cell plan and we have no home phone service (I don’t like talking to people anyways.) We dropped dish network years ago and don’t miss it a bit – we have a Roku (Best. Thing. Ever.) and bunny ears – I get my manly dose of ESPN through watchespn.com. The key is figuring out what techniques for saving money work best in your situation and putting them in place. Sacrifice is to be expected while you’re adopting regardless of the number of children you have.

Get educated. If you can make use of educational opportunities or benefits at work, do it. Take all the training you can get. My employer has a 100% tuition reimbursement benefit so what little isn’t covered by financial aid is picked up by my company. Education was always important to me, but I was never willing to pay for it myself – In a few months I’ll be picking up by Associates Degree and I plan to continue on with my Bachelor’s degree and finally a Master’s degree – probably in IT Management. Education will always pay dividends – if your current employer doesn’t value your education and doesn’t want to invest in you perhaps you need to find a new employer – that way even if they don’t value you either at least the new company might pay you more to be unappreciated. Employment is a business relationship – if both parties are happy then so be it. If one party isn’t happy, it’s probably time to move on. Don’t be afraid of the change – embrace it.

I don’t have all the answers, and what worked for us will not apply to everyone, so your mileage may vary on all of this. If you think I’m off my rocker, well you might be right. If you’re a guy who is staring down the financial burden of international adoption, you are not alone – contact me or any other adoptive parent and find out all the tips and tricks of the process that can make all the difference.

Bottom line – Don’t let the money stop you. A life saved through adoption is priceless, quite a return on the investment if you ask me.

What are some of the activities you enjoy the most with your children?

This sounds bad, but I love to work with them. I love doing yard work, and they seem to love it too. One day my son and I were cleaning off the back patio and he stopped, looked up at me and said “Dad, this is the funnest thing we’ve ever done.” For the past few years I’ve been the driving force behind a backyard garden – and I love to work with the kids in planting tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and sunflowers (one of my sunflowers topped 10 feet this year). I think the kids love it too, and I hope they have fond memories of eating cherry tomatoes right off the plant, or digging up their own carrots that they planted.

I also love opportunities to spend time with them individually – this provides a window to their personality and helps me get to know them better and focus on their needs. Each child is unique and while some of them enjoy doing the dishes with me, others enjoy going to Sam’s Club or Lowe’s.

A few of them enjoy watching sports with me and I capitalize on that as often as I can – sometimes I’ll get them up late in the evening so they can watch an hour or so of a ballgame with me.

How do you decide which child to give attention to at which moment and does the squeeky wheel always get the grease?

I do the best I can. I take a deep breath, sometimes I sigh, and then I try to meet their needs in the most logical order my mind can come up with at the moment. The squeaky wheel method does not often work for the children since both Valerie and I are adept at tuning out squeaking. A few of the kids are more prone to “bad days” and I often find myself trying to spend extra time talking to those children and trying to help them through their emotions. As often as possible I try to give them isolated time, away from the others so that the quality of the time is better for them.

How do you develop love for a child who is not your biological child, whom you did not see from the womb?

I don’t know… and I’m not the right person to ask. The process of developing that connection has been the most elusive aspect of the adoption process for me. At a functional level I am glad to be their father, and I am happy that they are in a family that loves them, and I would give the world for them, but that obviously does not instantly equate to a deep relationship based on love. This has been an internal battle for me which I often feel comes from deep-rooted mental variables resulting from conditions of childhood and my young adulthood. The only thing I can say is that time is the greatest healer. Without going into specifics of my relationships with my children I’ll just say that I am confident (and it is my experience) that time is able to heal many of these issues and even if the bond is not instant, that does not mean it will never occur. In some cases it may take years – and I think that’s ok. I’m not saying it’s purely a “fake it till ya make it” thing, but I don’t see any problem with saying (inside your own mind) – “I’m glad you’re part of our family, and I know that you and I may not bond instantly, but we’ll get there.”

I wish had the answer to this one, because it has seriously been 90% of the mental and emotional drain I’ve faced following adoptions and has caused me much consternation.

How does he handle the stress of work and then coming home? My hubby is overwhelmed by our kids constant want for attention after the constant need for him at work. /How do you deal with the chaos when you walk in the door at the end of the day and all the kids want your attention at once?

The biggest problem I have is that I work in a very large facility that is essentially a massive cube farm – a very, very quiet cube farm. So quiet in fact that I have to turn on a fan in my cube to prevent myself from going nuts due to the lack of noise. When I come home I am often overwhelmed by the sheer amount of noise that these precious children are able to generate! This may sound weird – but it’s so true.

One approach is to listen to really loud music on the way home in the car. This preps me for the audible onslaught that heads my way when I open the door.

Another option is to call home when I’m about 5 minutes away (I only have a 10 minute commute) and let the gang know I’m coming – this gives them time to scurry around and start cleaning things up before I get home, a clean house always calms me down – and nothing makes me happier and more calm than a back yard that has been cleaned up by the kids. If the backyard isn’t clean then I often try to rally the troops to fall in line which is generally met with only marginal cooperation – recipe for failure.

A lot of it is attitude though – sometimes when I know I’ve had a rough day I take a few deep breaths and remind myself to be patient and calm with the family. Once of my tactics is to have Valerie let one of the kids wait outside for me so that when I pull into the driveway I’m greeted by a nice big smile from someone that is genuinely excited to see me, a very refreshing moment that brings back fond memories of when I was a kid and I would wait at the bus stop for my dad riding home on the 17L bus which stopped around the corner from our house.

Lastly, if all else fails and I’m about the fly off the handle and go nuts I declare that I need a break and I retreat to my office to change my clothes and relax for a minute so I can cool off a bit. Valerie is generally supportive of such action and I generally try to afford her the same opportunity because sometimes when I roll in the door she’s near the edge of her own cliff of mental fortitude.

This week's winners and a challenge update

2011-11-26T20:58:00.003-05:00

My apologies for the delay in announcing the winner's for round three of our Adoption Awareness Giveaway. They are:

JILL PIERCE
(2 handmade coin purse)

JENNIFER LYBBERT
($25 Target gift card)

VIVIANE SEUMEL
(Custom car seat cover)

Thank you for all that you are doing to advocate for adoption! Please send me an email with your address and I will get your items in the mail (or put you in contact with the individual creating your item).

Earlier this week I issued a challenge. The challenge was to get Morgan's grant fund to $1500 by next Wednesday when our Adoption Awareness Giveaway comes to an end. We needed $140 to meet that goal. Just a few hours after issuing that challenge, the goal was met! In fact, Morgan's grant fund has grown by almost $200 in just a few days! You guys are AWESOME!

Since we have met our first goal, it is time to set another. Morgan has had $400 donated to his grant fund since the beginning of the Angel Tree. If we can raise another $100, Morgan will move to the next level of the Angel Tree AND we will be halfway to our $1000 goal. So, I am raising the bar and challenging each of you to help us raise another $100 by next Wednesday, by donating to his grant fund or sharing this post or his profile at Reece's Rainbow! Will you help us hit the $500 mark!?

A chance at life

2011-11-23T13:10:00.005-05:00

This morning someone found my blog by searching "Does Torez allow adoptions?"

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Torez, it is an institution for "disabled" children and adults in Eastern Ukraine.

When an orphan turns 4 years-old in Ukraine one of two things will happen. If they are generally healthy and able to perform basic self-care tasks (such as using the toilet, and feeding and dressing themselves) they are transferred to an internat (an orphanage for older children). However, if they are unable to perform basic self-care tasks they will be transferred to institutions. This includes children who are physically healthy, but physically or mentally "disabled" in some way.

Four years ago today, I met, for the first time, one of the most beautiful souls I have ever had the privilege of knowing; my son, Evan. It was in a small room in an orphanage in Eastern Ukraine, that I first saw those sparkling eyes, full of life and hope despite all that he had experienced. It was the first time that I experienced the joy of his radiant smile and heard his sweet voice. It was the first time that I felt his sunshine.

Our first time meeting Evan (11/23/07)

He was 3.5 years old. He could not walk. He could not feed himself. He was not potty trained. Prior to our commitment it appeared that his fate had been sealed and it consisted of one word:

Torez.

A dead end for children and adults with special needs.

I am grateful everyday for those who loved Evan so much that they fought against that fate until they changed it. I am grateful everyday for a loving Father in Heaven who led us to an unimaginable treasure, buried deep inside that Eastern Ukrainian orphanage.

Evan is now 7 years-old. He can feed himself. He can walk. He is potty trained. He is receiving an education (and is absolutely brilliant). He is pure and living sunshine and he has touched more lives than anyone else I have ever known. The world would certainly be a darker place if his rays of light were hidden away in an institution.

But what about those who have already been dealt that fate? What about the children who lay locked away (physically, mentally and potentially) in this institution (and hundreds of others like it) in Eastern Ukraine? Is there any hope?

The glorious truth is, there is always hope; even at Torez.

In answer to the question, "Does Torez allow adoptions?," YES! Torez absolutely does allow adoptions. There have only been a few, but adoptions are happening at this institution and the children that reside there are in desperate need of humanitarian aid and families.

To learn more about Torez and its children, staff and caregivers, please take the time to read this post by Tina Kacirek, mother of Maxim, adopted from Torez in 2010.

Want to know how you can get involved in helping the children of Torez? Visit Life2Orphans to learn more.

To learn more about children available for adoption at Torez, please click on the following links:

Victoria

Lauren

Leo

Dimitriy

A Challenge

2011-11-23T06:11:00.004-05:00

One week from today, we will draw winners for the Kindle Fire and the $100 Amazon gift card and our Adoption Awareness Giveaway will come to a close.

We are so grateful to all who have taken the time to share, pray, advocate and give.

In this final week of our giveaway I would like to issue a challenge:

Morgan's grant fund currently has $1360. By next Wednesday, we would like to see his grant fund grow to $1500. We only need to raise $140 to meet that goal. Will you help us?

In addition to drawing winners for the Kindle Fire and $100 Amazon gift card next Wednesday, we will also draw winners for the third round of our Adoption Awareness Giveaway this Friday. Up for grabs this week:

2 Handmade Coin Purses from 3Seams

Custom Car seat Cover by Jill (you choose the colors)

$25 Target Gift card

Pray, advocate, share, give!

Victory!

2011-11-22T19:05:00.003-05:00

We began our current adoption in mid-April. At the time of commitment we were already halfway through our homestudy update and since this was our third time putting together a Bulgarian dossier, we felt it was reasonable to assume that we would be able to submit our dossier by the end of the summer and make our first trip before the end of the year.

Obviously that didn't happen.

Two weeks ago we finally received the last two documents needed to complete our dossier. All that needed to be done were county certifications and apostilles. I could not wait to get this dossier in the mail.

Then we noticed that one of our documents would need to be updated.

The updated document arrived on Friday.

With everything finally in order, the kids and I piled into the van this morning and sent our dossier on its way!

VICTORY!

It is scheduled to arrive in Bulgaria next Wednesday (where it will be translated, authenticated and submitted to the Ministry of Justice).

We are unsure of what our timeline will be like from here, but as I mailed our dossier today I remembered that we submitted our dossier for Alayna and Lily around the same time in 2009. Sure enough, we mailed our dossier on November 24, 2009 and it arrived in Bulgaria on November 30th (the same day our current dossier is scheduled to be delivered). We received our official referrals for the girls at the end of January 2010 and I arrived in Bulgaria for my first trip in February 2010. At this point, I expect that this adoption timeline will closely resemble that of Alayna and Lily's adoption.

While things are progressing much slower than I would like them to, we are moving forward and I know that our boys will come home exactly when our Heavenly Father intends them to.

For now, I am rejoicing in the knowledge that we are one step closer!

Adopting Out of Birth Order: Part 2

2011-11-20T22:54:00.002-05:00

In February 2010, our family had the opportunity to provide respite care for a 15 year-old boy with arthrogryposis for several weeks.

When we first learned that this family was seeking respite care for their son, we were hesitant. After all, this young man was significantly older than the rest of the children in our home and, although Richard and I had both worked extensively with teenagers, we had never parented one! We were, however, very familiar with his special needs (Evan also has arthrogryposis) and we felt strongly that we should open our hearts and our home to this young man.

In some cases, an age discrepancy such as this might be detrimental, but in this case it was a benefit and a blessing to all involved.

In this young man's adoptive family, he was the oldest child in the home by several months, though physically, socially, academically and emotionally he was much younger than his actual age. His brother (just a few months younger than him) however, was socially, emotionally, physically and academically on target for his age. It became obvious to us after just a few days, that this young man struggled greatly with feelings of inferiority stemming from this discrepancy. The relationship between brothers was strained, at best, leaving this young man feeling very insecure.

Shortly after we welcomed this young man into our home we began to notice a significant change in his confidence and feelings of self-worth. He was once again the oldest child in the home, but this time he was playing the role of older brother to many, much younger brothers and sisters who looked up to and admired him. He could do things that these little people were not yet capable of doing. The kids adored him and his confidence soared.

He was also a wonderful help to Richard and I. Each night he volunteered to do the dishes, he read to the kids, and helped Richard shovel snow from the walkways. He was well-mannered and gracious. We felt like we had won the teenager lottery! In short, he was a gem and such a blessed addition to our family and we were sure to let him know. It did not take him long to learn that he was a valued member of our family. Again, his confidence soared.

In the short time that we were blessed to have this young man in our home we watched him thrive and grow. We saw him transform as he gained confidence and began to recognize his great worth and his limitless potential.

It was so hard to see him go, we loved him deeply and miss him dearly, but we were truly blessed to have the opportunity to have him in our lives, even for a short time.

Sometimes disrupting birth order or adopting a child significantly older than the other children in your home can be detrimental. Most of the time, it is an unimaginable blessing.

Adopting Out of Birth Order: Part 1

2011-11-19T21:54:00.005-05:00

When we made the decision to adopt internationally, our triplets, Maren, Lukas and Jacob, had just celebrated their 2nd birthday. Initially we had planned to adopt a healthy child as young as possible, which in our minds meant, younger than the triplets. That is, after all, what most adoption professionals advise you to do.

But the Lord had other plans for our family; plans that looked radically different from those that we had carefully mapped out for ourselves; plans that would go against the advice of all of the professionals.

Once our eyes were opened we proceeded to do three things:

Commit to a child with special needs, in a little known country (Uzbekistan), processing very few adoptions.

Commit to a second child with special needs (6 months older than our triplets) in a completely different country (Ukraine).

Do both simultaneously.

Yes. We were nuts! And completely naive (which is a beautiful state of mind to be in when the Lord has something completely crazy up His sleeve). From the moment we laid eyes on Joshua and Evan we KNEW that they were our sons and when you know something with every fiber of your being, it does not matter what anyone else says, even the professionals. You simply do what you have been called to do and you have faith that the Lord will provide.

Let me assure you that the Lord certainly did provide (and continues to do so). He went before us every step of the way, paving the path for us to bring our boys home. Joshua and Evan would not be here today without His constant attention and intervention (you can read more about our adventures in Uzbekistan and Ukraine here and here).

When Joshua and Evan arrived home our children were 3.5 (Evan), 3 (Maren, Lukas and Jacob) and 10 months (Joshua).

A year later, the Lord would call us to another country (Bulgaria) to ransom three of His beautiful daughters, ages 5, 6 and 7 (at the time of commitment). These little girls would displace all of our other children in birth order. Once again, we would have to go against the advice of the "professionals."

We didn't think twice about accepting the call.

When you know, you know, and we knew that Alayna, Lily and Alexis were meant to be our daughters.

When the girls came home from Bulgaria our children were 8 (Alayna), 7.5 (Lily), 7 (Alexis), 6 (Evan), 5 (Maren, Lukas and Jacob) and 3 (Joshua).

Here are a few things you should know:

Adoption is disruptive.

Yes, it is beautiful, redeeming and transformational, but it is also disruptive.

No matter how healthy or how old your child is at the time of adoption, you (a stranger) are taking a child away from everything that they have ever known (friends, caregivers, language, food, culture, etc.). You are replacing the familiar with unfamiliar. Most of the time, you are providing that child with a much better life than they may have otherwise had, BUT that child will still experience grief, loss, depression, anxiety, anger, etc. (even when they have experienced abuse and neglect).

As you transition a new child into your family, life as you have known it will change. That change will not be easy. The harmony that likely existed in your home prior to the addition of your child will be disrupted for a time (until you are able to establish a "new normal").

When you adopt out of birth order, adopt multiple, unrelated children, adopt an older child or adopt a child with special needs, that transition generally becomes even more difficult.

Adoption professionals understand this. When counseling families they will always advise you to do what is least disruptive to the harmony in your home. This is why many agencies have policies regarding birth order, family size, adopting multiple, unrelated children, time between adoptions, etc. All of these things are generally put into place to help preserve the harmony in the home, ease transitions and prevent future disruptions.

While, well meaning, it is my personal opinion (garnered through experience) that issues such as these should be considered on a case-by-case basis according to the ability and dynamics of each family.

In some cases, preserving birth order is vital to successfully transitioning a new child into the home. For example, several years ago some dear friends of ours made the decision to add to their family through adoption. They had one biological daughter who was six years-old when they began the adoption process. For six years, their sweet daughter had been blessed to be the sole recipient of her parents love and attention. Introducing new children into the family was already going to be a HUGE adjustment for her. Knowing this, our friends made the decision to preserve birth order and adopt two children who were younger than their biological daughter. It was absolutely the right decision for their family.

For our family, disrupting birth order has not been an issue. The first time we adopted out of birth order our triplets were just shy of their 3rd birthday. They had no concept of age (and certainly no concept of birth order). Evan was simply another playmate.

When we committed to Alayna, Lily and Alexis, we wondered if disrupting birth order would be more of a factor (our kids were older after all (6, 5, 5, 5 and 3), and more aware of their chronological positions within the family).

Let me tell you why it was not:

Research has shown that for every three months a child spends in an institutional setting, one month can be subtracted from their age. We have found this to be accurate for all of our adopted children. When our girls came home, they were 8 (Alayna), 7 (Alexis) and 7.5 (Lily). Developmentally and physically, they were closer to 6 (Alayna), 4 (Alexis) and 3 (Lily; there was a bigger discrepancy with Lily due to nutritional deficits and developmental delays, all tied to her untreated Celiac disease).

After 16 months home (11 months for Alexis), developmentally, emotionally, socially, physically and academically, the girls are closer to 8 (Alayna; actual age 9.5), 5 (Alexis; actual age 8) and 4 (Lily; actual age 8.5).

What we have learned. . . . .

Sometimes, "age ain't nothin' but a number!"

If you are considering adopting out of birth order, do your research; understand the potential issues that could arise; consider your family dynamics; talk to your children; counsel together as a family.

Ultimately, if you feel that the Lord has led you to adopt a child, trust that He will preserve the harmony in your home and that He will give you the strength, courage and wisdom to navigate through disruptions and difficulties that may arise (and they will, whether or not you adopt out of birth order).

Sometimes our children come to us in chronological order, sometimes the Lord has other plans, but regardless of how they come, it is always by divine design.

Today's Giveaway winners are. . . .

2011-11-18T08:51:00.004-05:00

Another HUGE thank you to all of those who have donated, shared and advocated for adopting families, waiting children and orphan-care organizations thus far! It is exciting and inspiring to watch the profiles of waiting children and adopting families being shared all over the internet and, of course, it is especially exciting to watch Morgan's grant fund grow!

Today I would like to announce the winners of the second round of our Adoption Awareness Giveaway. They are:

LI BURK
(3 8x8 "Faith, Hope and Charity" Prints)

NATALIE
(Handmade "Twilight" Mittens)

TRACEY SCHALK
($25 Target Gift card)

Thank you for all that you are doing to advocate for adoption! Please send me an email with your addresses and I will get your items in the mail!

All names will remain in the Giveaway until the end of the month when we will draw winners for the Kindle Fire and $100 Amazon gift card so keep raising your voices in support of adoption!

Giveaway Sneak Preview

2011-11-17T15:48:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow we will draw winners for round two of our Adoption Awareness Giveaway. We have three more awesome gifts to giveaway to three awesome orphan advocates!

Here is a little "sneak preview" of what is up for grabs:

3 8x8 Prints from Sanctus Simplicitus

$25 Target Gift card

An AMAZING pair of handmade mittens by Katherine.
These are the same style of mittens worn by "Bella" in the first "Twilight" movie, so for all of you Twilight fans (and even those who aren't), these mittens are certainly worth entering the giveaway for!

Entering the giveaway is EASY! Simply donate to a waiting child or adopting family's grant fund (or purchase items from an adopting family's fundraiser), contribute to an orphan-care organization and/or SHARE!

Not quite sure how/where to find waiting children, adopting families or orphan care organizations? Click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

To make it REALLY easy, simply donate to or share our family's fundraiser for our sweet Christmas Angel, Morgan.

Don't forget that all entries into our Adoption Awareness Giveaway are not only eligible for our weekly giveaways but also for a brand new KINDLE FIRE and $100 Amazon gift card!

Shoes for Orphan Souls (SOS)

2011-11-16T19:42:00.003-05:00

Shortly after bringing Lily and Alayna home from Bulgaria, my shoes started to go missing. At first I chalked it up to jet lag and the general exhaustion that comes from transitioning two new children into the family. My brain was simply too tired to remember where I had put my shoes.

One day, while the other kids were outside playing in the backyard, I realized that it had been awhile since I had seen Lily. I went back inside and began patrolling the house. As I neared her bedroom, I could hear her singing softly to herself. I quietly peeked into her room and was surprised to find her sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by all of my missing shoes. One by one, I watched her try them on, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree with each pair.

A few days later, I took her shoe shopping. I'm pretty sure she thought she had died and gone to Heaven.

Sixteen months after bringing Lily home, I STILL have to be careful about leaving my shoes lying around. When they go missing, I know exactly where I will find them.

Alayna and Alexis aren't much different. Shoes are just as much of a treasure to them as they are to Lily.

But why? What is so fascinating about a pair of shoes?

Shoes are a hot commodity in orphanages. They are expensive and hard to come by. Most children are only allotted one pair of shoes per year (and some don't have shoes at all). I have personally seen many sweet little feet squeezed into shoes several sizes too small and others in shoes much too large for their tiny feet. When shoes are available they are usually "community property." Most orphans do not have the privilege of personal property, instead they must share their clothes, toys, shoes, bedding, etc. with all of the other kids in the orphanage. With that in mind, can you see why shoes are such a treasured possession?

Tonight I'd like to share with you one of my favorite orphan-care organizations: Shoes for Orphan Souls (SOS), a ministry of Buckner International that provides shoes and socks to orphans and vulnerable children in the US and throughout the world.

Since 1999, SOS has distributed over 2.2 million pairs of new shoes and socks to children in 73 countries!

There are several ways that you can get involved with this AWESOME organization:

1. Donate your birthday! Throw a party and ask your guests to bring a pair of new shoes in lieu of gifts!

2. Host a Shoe Drive! Even if you don't have the money to donate or to purchase new shoes, you can host a shoe drive at your school, business or church.

3. Make a monetary donation! Each $25 donation provides a new pair of shoes for at-risk children and orphans in the US and around the world.

4. Give the gift of shoes (and socks)! "Black Friday" is just around the corner and you KNOW there will be shoe sales! Why not grab a few extra pairs of shoes and socks and give a gift that is truly priceless!

This year, as part of our Christmas festivities, our family will host a shoe drive. It is a wonderful way to get our children and our community involved in reaching out and caring for children in need and it is SO. SIMPLE!

Even though we will not be there to see the faces of the recipients of our gifts, I already know that they will light up like Christmas trees when they receive these treasures because I have had the privilege of witnessing (almost daily), the joy of one little girl who understands what a precious gift a pair of shoes really is.

Tuesday's Top 10

2011-11-15T19:29:00.007-05:00

As many of you know, we are in the process of adopting two precious, 2.5 year-old boys from Bulgaria; both of whom have been blessed with designer genes (aka Down syndrome). We are humbled that our Heavenly Father has chosen us to be their parents.

Over the past four years we have had the privilege of getting to know many individuals and families whose lives have been blessed, enhanced and enriched by that extra chromosome. We are excited to finally experience that joy and blessing firsthand.

Tonight I would like to share with you the profiles of 10 waiting children with Down syndrome because, as Reece's Rainbow states (and we emphatically agree), "every family deserves the blessing of a child with Down syndrome."

1. Meet Sophie. Is she not the most adorable little girl you have ever seen!? Miss Sophie is in desperate need of a family. Could that family be YOU? To learn more about Sophie, donate to her grant fund or share her information, please visit her profile at Reece's Rainbow.

2. Meet Alexander. This precious little boy has had my heart since the first time I laid eyes on him. His smile just fills me with light. In addition to Down syndrome, Alexander also struggles with epilepsy. He will be 5 years-old in February and it is only a matter of time before he is sentenced to an institution. Alexander currently has a $7000 grant towards his adoption. Where is his mama?? To learn more about Alexander, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile at Reece's Rainbow.

3. Meet Artem. This sweet boy has been waiting for his family for far too long. Year after year I have watched as other children have found their families, yet, Artem has always remained. I am praying that will not be the case much longer. Artem currently has a $16,500 grant towards his adoption! $16,500!!! Could YOU be Artem's family!? To learn more about Artem, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile at Reece's Rainbow.

4. Meet Samuel. Samuel is another little boy who has been waiting for his family for far too long. Samuel was listed on Reece's Rainbow shortly before we committed to Alayna and Lily in the Fall of 2009. In the two years that he has been listed he hasn't received a single donation to his grant fund and very few people have inquired about him. This precious boy has been living without the love of a family for 8.5 years! He desperately needs a mama to smother him in love and kisses and to help him meet his full potential! To learn more about Samuel, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile at Reece's Rainbow.

5. Meet Claire. Claire is a beautiful 7 year-old girl! Her caregivers describe her as sociable and smart. She is another child who has waited too long for a family to call her own. Could you be Claire's family? To learn more about Claire, donate to her grant fund or share her information, please visit her profile at Reece's Rainbow.

6. Meet Kolya. Kolya is another child who absolutely radiates joy. I love the description from his caregiver: "Kolya is a special child in every sense. He will never be like the other children but this does not negate his ability to enjoy the outside world and bring joy to others." Kolya is already 11 years-old! This little boy needs a family NOW! To learn more about Kolya, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile at Reece's Rainbow.

7. Meet Saul. Look at that sweet smile and adorable dimple! Saul is doing SO well; walking, talking and eating independently. He is also blessed to be living with a foster family (rather than in an orphanage) in his birth country. Saul will soon celebrate his 4th birthday. Why not give him something more to celebrate. . . a loving, committed family! To learn more about Saul, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile on Reece's Rainbow.

8. Meet Spencer. Spencer just turned 5 years-old in July and is facing institutionalization. As his profile states, he should be getting ready for kindergarten, not the mental institution. Could YOU be the family that saves sweet Spencer from this fate? Spencer currently has a $5000 grant towards his adoption. To learn more about Spencer, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile at Reece's Rainbow.

9. Meet Meredith. Isn't she beautiful!? Meredith is another child who has been waiting for a family for a very long time. She just turned 5 years-old and, according to her report, is doing remarkably well. Meredith currently has a $5600 grant towards her adoption. To learn more about Meredith, donate to her grant fund or share her information, please visit her profile at Reece's Rainbow.

10. Meet Lizzy. This precious BABY just turned a year old. Who wouldn't want to snuggle this sweet angel and bask in her joy! Miss Lizzy has at $1700 grant towards her adoption. To learn more about Lizzy, donate to her grant fund or share her information, please visit her profile at Reece's Rainbow.

And while we are advocating for orphans with Down syndrome, please don't forget about Morgan and Bridget!

All of these children are in desperate need of loving families. By making a donation to their grant funds or simply clicking the "share" button in their profiles, you can help make that happen (and be entered to win a KINDLE FIRE and $100 Amazon gift card in our Adoption Awareness Giveaway)!

Take a peek into your own backyard. . .

2011-11-14T17:20:00.005-05:00

We have adopted five children internationally and are in the process of bringing home two more sweet little people from Bulgaria, so naturally, our blog tends to be focused more on international adoption.

There are MILLIONS of children available for adoption throughout the world.

In fact, it is currently estimated that there are over 163 MILLION orphans worldwide (an INCREASE from the 147 million estimated several years ago).

Did you know that approximately 110,000 of those children are right here in the US? Right here in our own backyard!

The most recent AFCARS report states that there are over 400,000 children currently in the US foster care system with approximately 110,000 of those children waiting to be adopted. Sadly, more than 20,000 of those children age out of the foster care system EACH year without being adopted.

The need is great.

Right here in our own backyard.

We have not yet had the opportunity and privilege of adopting domestically (though we have tried several times), but we hope that one day we will. Until that day, we hope that our voices will be heard shouting just as loudly for all of the wonderful, deserving children waiting to be adopted right here in the United States.

To learn more about more about foster care and adoption in the United States, please visit AdoptUSKids.

To meet some of the amazing children waiting for a family to call their own (including two children in particular who have completely stolen my heart (Krzystopher and Tayron), click here.

Go ahead. Take a peek into your own backyard. There might just be someone waiting for you there!

Today's Giveaway winners are. . . .

2011-11-11T10:51:00.004-05:00

First, a HUGE thank you to all who have donated, shared and advocated for adopting families, waiting children and orphan-care organizations thus far! It is inspiring to see so many people come together to raise their voices for orphans and those who care for them.

Today I would like to announce the winners of the first round of our Adoption Awareness Giveaway.

So, without further ado, the winners are. . . . .

JOY MCCLAIN

(Pillowcases)

CELESTE HAVEN

(Braided fabric bracelets)

AMANDA SUTTON

($25 Target Gift card)

Congratulations ladies and thank you again for all that you are doing to advocate for adoption! Please send me an email with your addresses and I will get your items in the mail!

All names will remain in the Giveaway until the end of the month when we draw winners for the Kindle Fire and the $100 Amazon gift card so keep shouting from the rooftops in the name of adoption!!

It's my BIRTHDAY!

2011-11-10T06:00:00.002-05:00

Today is my birthday.

I now have a whopping 28 years under my belt (though my joints and the amount of gray hair on my head suggest otherwise).

I am blessed to be able to spend my birthday in Phoenix with my sister, her husband and their precious new baby, while Richard plays the role of Superdad 5000 and holds down the fort at home.

I could not ask for more. . . . .but I'm going to anyway :-)

I have been blessed with an amazing, loving and supportive husband and eight incredible kids (with two more on the way). I have countless friends and family members who love, support and encourage me in all that I do. I am blessed to know that I am a beloved daughter of God and to have the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.

But there is a precious 2 year-old boy with Down syndrome half-way around the world who does not have those things. He does not know the love of a family. He is not surrounded by loving family and friends who encourage him and help him to meet his full potential. He does not know what a beloved and choice son of God he is.

He has never had cause to celebrate his birthday because each birthday without a family simply marks another year closer to the unimaginable horrors of institutionalization.

So this year I am "donating" my birthday to Morgan with the hope that he will be able to spend HIS next birthday celebrating, surrounded by a family that loves him.

This year for my birthday, I want nothing more than to see Morgan's grant fund grow and grow and to see his profile shared all over the world wide web with the hope that maybe, just maybe his mama will see his sweet face and commit to bringing him home.

And as a special treat to all of the amazing people who take the time to make a donation or share, you will receive DOUBLE the entries into our Adoption Awareness Giveaway ($5=2 entries, $10=4 entries, $25=10 entries, etc.).

To learn more about how you can donate to Morgan's grant fund, click here.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

2011-11-09T08:07:00.005-05:00

Christmas is right around the corner and for most, Christmas shopping is in full swing. Most of us are strapped for cash at this time of year as we prepare for the holidays and try to find the perfect gifts for our loved ones, leaving little leftover for donations to charities and helping those who are fundraising for adoptions.

But what if you could do both? What if you could shop for loved ones AND benefit someone's adoption? What if you could make your money stretch by giving a truly meaningful gift while giving the gift of life and family to a waiting orphan?

I have good news for you! You CAN!

There are DOZENS of online shops and stores, full of fantastic gifts and products, that directly benefit adopting families, orphans and orphan-care organizations.

Today I would like to highlight two of them (and, in so doing, share with you our giveaway items for this week) and point you in the direction of MANY others.

The first is The Adopting Nations Shop. This shop features beautiful, handmade pillowcases, jewelry and greeting cards. All proceeds from the Adopting Nations Shop go towards the Ruble Family's adoption of two, precious children from Uganda. You can learn more about their family and follow their adoption here.

This Friday, we will be giving away a set of flannel pillowcases, made with love, by Jen Ruble.

The next shop I would like to highlight is The Adopt Shoppe. This shop features beautiful beaded necklaces from Uganda, fabric bracelets, wooden tile necklaces and leather bracelets, all lovingly handcrafted by Kate. Kate and her husband are the proud parents of three children (two biological and one adopted) and are currently in the process of adopting a sweet baby from Taiwan. All proceeds from their shop go directly towards their adoption.

This Friday, we will be giving away a beautiful set of braided fabric bracelets with a hand-stamped tag, handmade by Kate.

There are MANY other shops, stores, families and organizations selling wonderful products that directly benefit adoption and/or orphan care. As you do your Christmas shopping this year, please consider supporting these families and organizations. Give a gift of love to family and friends while giving the gift of life and family to a child in need.

Give Hope
147 Million Orphans
We Are Grafted In- Fundraising Families
Gwyn and Ava Quilted
The Pierce Family- I Am A Child of God prints
All Are Precious In His Sight- John 14:18 Gifts and Giveaway
Reece's Rainbow- Angel Tree Dollars (excellent teacher/coworker gifts or stocking stuffers)

In addition to the set of pillowcases from The Adopting Nations Shop and the braided fabric bracelet from The Adopt Shoppe, we will also be giving away a $25 Target gift card this Friday. Shop, share, and give for a chance to win one of these beautiful items (and to be eligible to win a KINDLE FIRE and $100 Amazon gift card).

*If you are selling items that directly benefit an adopting family, waiting child or orphan-care organization and would like your name added to our Christmas "Shopping List" please leave a message or send me an email.

Meet Morgan

2011-11-08T04:51:00.004-05:00

Please allow me to introduce you to a sweet little man named Morgan.

You'll be seeing a lot of Morgan over the next two months because we are Morgan's "Christmas Warriors." Each year, Reece's Rainbow (an International Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry) hosts the Christmas Angel Tree. The goal of the Angel Tree is to raise at least $1000 in grant funds for EACH child with Down syndrome between birth-5 years-old. Each child on the Angel Tree is matched with an individual or family who concentrates their efforts on advocating for that child in particular.

Last year, our family chose Dusty.

Dusty is now home and thriving with his new family!

This year we have chosen to be a voice for Morgan.

We chose Morgan because he is the same age as our two, sweet little boys who are waiting for us half-way around the world.

We chose Morgan because, like Benjamin and Thomas, his sweet face and big, brown eyes drew us in.

But Benjamin and Thomas have one thing that Morgan does not; A family.

There is no one coming for Morgan. There is no mama who lies awake at night thinking of him, wishing she could kiss his boo-boo's, rock him to sleep, wrap him in her arms and enfold him in her love. There is no family fighting to bring him home and make him their own.

We hope to change that.

From now until December 31st, we will be working to raise funds and find a family for Morgan. Morgan currently has $1170 in his grant fund. We would like to see his grant grow to at least $3000 by the end of the year. We know that we can do it with your help!

There are several ways that you can donate to Morgan's grant fund:
1. Donate through the "Miracles for Morgan" Chip-in below or on the sidebar.
2. Donate directly through the Reece's Rainbow Angel Tree (find Morgan(26HA) and click "Donate." All donations of $35 or more are eligible to receive a Christmas ornament.)
3. Send a check to Reece's Rainbow, PO Box 4024, Gaithersburg, MD 20885 (be sure to indicate that the donation is for Morgan(26HA).

All donations go directly to Reece's Rainbow and are tax-deductible.

Your name will also be entered into our Adoption Awareness Giveaway (to include a Kindle Fire, $100 Amazon Gift card and many other great items). Your name will be entered once for every $5 you donate ($5= 1 entry; $10= 2 entries; $25= 5 entries, etc.). Your name will also be entered EVERY time you share this post or Morgan's profile on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Please help us advocate for Morgan! This sweet boy deserves to know the love of a family!

*We are only notified of donations made through the "Miracles for Morgan" chipin. If you choose to donate directly through the Angel Tree, Morgan's profile or by mail and would like to be entered into the giveaway, please leave a comment or send me an email

The Godone-Maresca Family

2011-11-07T21:00:00.001-05:00

I would like to introduce you to a truly remarkable family: The Godone-Maresca Family.

I have had the wonderful privilege of getting to know Lillian Godone-Maresca over the past few years as we have both traversed the path of adopting from Bulgaria. Our family shares a special connection with the Godone-Maresca's because Alayna and Stephen, Maximilian and Philip Godone-Maresca were all together in the same orphanage in Bulgaria.

We rejoiced right along with them when they welcomed Stephen into their family and now we are fervently praying that they will be able to return to bring Maximilian and Philip home soon.

Please take the time to read their story (below), visit their blog and if so led, donate to their grant fund and help them bring Maximilian and Philip home. You will never meet a more loving, dedicated and determined family.

And now, allow me to turn the floor over to Lillian Godone-Maresca:

I am a very proud mother of six. My three older ones are biological, and my three younger ones are adopted internationally. Catherine is 25, and Gerard and Warren are 14-year-old twins. The three of them and my mother were, and are, full, unconditional participants in the adoption process to the extent that, even though being widowed and therefore a single applicant, when talking about adoption I never use “I” but “we”.

Thomas and Nicholas, both 10 but not twins, are adopted from Haiti. They are home since 2008. They both have cerebral palsy. They can walk, but Nicholas falls down very often. Even though his gait is slightly uneven, Thomas can run as fast as the wind. Nicholas has lots of things to say, but his expressive language is severely impaired by his articulation difficulties. Stephen, 9, was adopted from Bulgaria, and is home since last December 2010. He is extremely bright, with lots of potential. Due to spina bifida, he uses a wheelchair.

Lillian with Nicholas and Thomas in Haiti (2008)

Catherine, Gerard, and Warren do for their younger brothers much more than any parent may imagine, expect, ask for, or even dream about. They’re always ready and willing to assist their younger brothers with homework, hygiene, and any personal needs.

Catherine and Stephen

Our family is living proof that miracles do happen when love is unconditional and, most importantly, not just from the parent(s) but unanimously from all family members with no exception and no reservations. Children adopted at older ages may have some behavioral issues—but are also willing to respond to limitless love with love in return. Thomas, Nicholas, and Stephen are entirely bonded to us, and we’re one large loving family.

Lillian with Nicholas and Thomas

Yet, there is a big cloud in our happiness because of two other little boys, also from Bulgaria, whom we pray to add to our family very soon. Against the wishes of the wonderful placing agency, of the equally awesome Bulgarian attorney who works with them, against the wishes of the Bulgarian government, and against our desperate wishes, the local homestudy agency in CA considered its ‘waiting time’ policy more important than the well-being of those two waiting children and the happiness of all of us.

Those two little boys are 8 and 6, both with cerebral palsy but unaffected intellect. The older one is in a wheelchair. They have seen me, have been shown pictures of our family, and have been told I’d be their mom. Since a long time ago we wanted to move to the east coast due to more and better medical schools for the twins in the relatively near future (at 14, they finished high school and are applying to college) and better medical care for the younger ones. Yet, financially, it was not the right time to do it—but we all decided to take that big leap of faith and do it all the same for the sake of those two boys for whom we keep on praying together every single day. Nevertheless, there were some unforeseeable delays—and we’re running out of time. Our intention was to speed up the process—but in the end all I achieved with the move was to lengthen it even more.

Lillian with Maximilian and Philip in Bulgaria (2010)

My mother is now almost blind and in a wheelchair. She’s a retired professor of literature, but never worked in U.S. She did have the monies to pay directly for cataracts and knee replacement surgeries that MediCare would not cover unless with a very high premium—but she preferred her funds to go towards adoption fees and expenses, first from Haiti and then from Bulgaria. That’s a sacrifice that only a saint could have done—and despite all her pain and discomfort, she never had any regrets. Let’s pray that as long as those two little boys are concerned, her sacrifice won’t be rendered useless due to last-minute temporary financial
hardship.

The Godone-Maresca Family (minus Maximilian and Philip) Christmas 2010

I would greatly appreciate an opportunity to talk in person and show you all the paperwork. It is
impossible to comprise every single detail in this brief summary—but do give you my word that everything is crystal clear, with no exaggeration or embellishment at all.

By profession I’m a lawyer. Yet, no matter how many years elapsed, the upbringing I received keeps on simultaneously inspiring me to view my career as a service to others and yet preventing me from having a Midas’ touch. On one hand, I had a very privileged, overprotected, pampered childhood, but on the other, both by word and example, my family always modeled for me the meaning of social sensitivity, social justice, and equality, in the light of the Social Teaching of the Catholic Church. I end up representing cases for just pennies per hour—because that is how I was raised, and that became part of who I am. Within the measure of my limited possibilities, I don’t deny help to anyone—and yet in the past my family has helped others much more extensively than I myself ever did. When providing financial help to others became no longer possible, my three older children rolled up their sleeves and still gave back to the community by doing an extraordinary amount of volunteer work. They were featured sixteen times in the local media in San Diego due to their outstanding community service.

Warren and Stephen

Although my parents and grandparents modeled for me reaching out and humility when I was a child, I never fully grasped that second part. Something inside me always refused to be humble. Yet this is no time for pride. Too much is at stake now, and perhaps God is determined to teach me a lesson in humility after all. That’s why I’m gathering up the courage (or the nerve) to approach you and ask if you could eventually help in any way, with the clarification that no help is too small. As a token of gratitude for any contribution of any size, I offer either free legal advice or one (or more) of my four self-published books: on inspirational poetry, inspirational short stories, etiquette for children, and homeschooling. Also there is something you can always do for us: to join your prayers to ours for those two little boys to be able to come home.

From all our family and from the bottom of our hearts, thank you again,
Lillian Godone-Maresca

URGENT: Sergey

2011-11-06T09:33:00.003-05:00

These "last chance" kids (those who will soon become unadoptable due to age or institutionalization) always break my heart. Sergey's story is especially difficult and his situation is urgent.

Sergey, from Eastern Europe, came to the United States on a hosting trip. While he was here, a family committed to adopting him. At the last minute this family decided that Sergey was not meant to be their son. Sergey recently turned 15. If a family does not step forward to bring him home NOW, he will age out of the system, become unadoptable and be turned out on the streets. Sergey does not deserve this fate (no child does).

Please help me spread the word. I truly believe that there is a family out there for Sergey. By taking a few minutes to share Sergey's story or donate to his grant fund you could literally be helping to save his life.

Q&A with Richard

2011-11-05T16:25:00.003-04:00

You are in for a real treat! My amazing husband (the logic and reason behind this operation) has agreed to do a "Question and Answer Session" in honor of Adoption Awareness month (and I think I even detected some excitement from him at my request)!

So my dear blog readers, ask him your questions and he will give you his real, honest and upfront answers (Richard does not sugar coat anything)!

Let the interrogation begin!

One Heart Bulgaria

2011-11-05T15:48:00.005-04:00

Today I would like to shine the spotlight on One Heart Bulgaria. One Heart Bulgaria is a non-profit, humanitarian aid organization dedicated to improving the lives of orphans in Bulgaria.

Obviously this is a cause and an organization that is very close to my heart as five of my sweet little people (Alayna, Lily, Alexis, Benjamin and Thomas) hail from orphanages in Bulgaria. There are SO many ways that you can get involved in helping this organization. They even offer great suggestions on how to get your kids involved in helping and serving the thousands of deserving orphans in Bulgaria.

As you think about all of the ways that you have been blessed throughout this month of Thanksgiving, please consider blessing the lives of others by supporting the programs, orphanages and/or special projects of One Heart Bulgaria. To make a more personal impact, consider sponsoring a special project at this orphanage (this is where our Benjamin and Thomas are currently living).

In addition to receiving an entry into our Adoption Awareness Giveaway for donating to or sharing this organization with others, all those who donate (any amount) to One Heart Bulgaria will receive a FREE copy of "Courage to Shine," a benefit CD, filled with beautiful, inspiring music, produced by One Heart Bulgaria.

Friday's Fabulous Five

2011-11-04T10:37:00.006-04:00

Today's Fabulous Five will feature five, fabulous children who are waiting for their forever families. Each of these children hold a special place in my heart and I would love to see their grant funds grow and more importantly, forever families found!

1. This is Pryce. Pryce is 7 years-old and lives in Eastern Europe. He has Cerebral Palsy (CP). His caregivers describe him as "mentally well-developed, active, communicative and friendly." He reminds me SO much of my Jacob. I cannot wait to see him blossom and grow through the love of a forever family. Could he be YOUR son? To learn more about Pryce, donate to his grant fund, or share his information, please visit his profile on Reece's Rainbow.

2. This joyful girl is Laurel. Laurel is 15 years-old and was born with arthrogryposis. Laurel is a "last chance child." Once she turns 16, she will no longer be eligible for adoption and she will spend her life in an institution. She has less than a year to find a family before that fate is sealed. Please be a part of helping Laurel find her forever family by sharing her information, donating to her grant fund or inquiring about adoption. To learn more about adopting a child with arthrogryposis click here, here and here.

3. This is Marat. Marat is 13 years-old and HIV+. This sweet boy has been waiting for his family for FAR too long. He is described as being extremely gifted. He has a high IQ, is very fond of foreign languages and his favorite subject in school is math. He is also a very talented artist. If he is not adopted, he will be turned out on the streets. Marat wants nothing more than a loving family to call his own. Could YOU be that family? To learn more about Marat, share his information or donate to his grant fund, please visit his profile on Reece's Rainbow. To learn more about adopting and raising a child with HIV, please visit Project Hopeful.

4. This precious girl is Alice. She is my daughter Maren's "special girl." Maren has been praying for her to find a family since last Christmas. Alice was born with Down syndrome. She is already 5 years-old and, like Bridget, she is running out of time. She is facing the institution and needs a family NOW. Alice currently has over $12,000 in her grant fund. Could Alice be YOUR daughter? To learn more about Alice, donate to her grant fund or share her information, please visit her profile on Reece's Rainbow.

5. This sweet little boy is Maxim. Does he not just radiate joy!? Maxim was born with Down syndrome and just turned 7 years-old. He needs a family NOW! Several adoptive families have had the privilege of meeting Maxim and all of them describe him as a sweet, gentle, fun-loving little boy. Could Maxim be YOUR son? To learn more about Maxim, donate to his grant fund or share his information, please visit his profile on Reece's Rainbow.

Don't forget that every time you share a waiting child's information (via blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) or donate to a waiting child's grant fund (ANY amount), your name will be entered into our Adoption Awareness Giveaway. Helping to save a child's life can be as easy as clicking "donate" or "share!"

Meet Bridget

2011-11-03T19:56:00.008-04:00

I would like to introduce you to a beautiful little girl named Bridget.

I have loved this sweet little girl since the first time I laid eyes on her! Bridget was born with Down syndrome. A few months ago, she turned 5 years-old. In her birth country that means that her time has run out. She will soon be transferred to a mental institution (if she has not been already), a place where many (otherwise healthy) children die within the first year of transfer due to the horrible living conditions. That simply cannot be her fate.

Bridget currently has a $3000 grant towards her adoption. Unfortunately, that is still just a drop in the bucket when total adoption costs are estimated at $30,000. Thankfully, the fabulous Dalas has made it her personal mission to raise the funds necessary to help this precious little girl find a family.

Dalas is currently hosting a fundraiser (through Thirty-One Gifts; 20% of all sales will be placed directly into Bridget's grant fund) as well as a giveaway on her blog to raise money for Bridget's grant.

By purchasing items from Bridget's Fundraiser, donating to her grant fund and/or sharing Dalas' giveaway on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. not only will you be entered for a chance to win a prize in Dalas' giveaway, but your name will also be entered into our Adoption Awareness Giveaway.

And that's not all! Bridget is also featured on Reece's Rainbow's Angel Tree and for every donation of $35 or more, you will receive a beautiful Christmas ornament!

Please join Dalas and I in raising your voices for this beautiful little girl. She does not deserve the fate that awaits her if a family does not step forward to bring her home soon.

Adoption Awareness Giveaway Details

2011-11-03T17:34:00.009-04:00

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about all of the AMAZING items that we will be giving away in honor of Adoption Awareness Month! And because I want all of you to be just as excited about adoption advocacy, I am going to give you a sneak peek at some of the goodies that will be offered throughout the month!

2 Designer Flannel Pillowcases from Adopting Nations

3 8x8 Prints from Sanctus Simplicitus

2 Fabulous Coin Purses from 3 Seams

Braided fabric bracelet (with a hand-stamped tag) from The Adopt Shoppe

2 $25 Target Gift cards

$100 Amazon Gift card

And the crowning glory of our giveaway. . . . . . a brand, spankin' new Kindle Fire!

You can read more about all of the AWESOME features of the Kindle Fire here.

So, would you like to know how you can get your name entered to win one of these amazing prizes!?! It's simple!

1. Donate to a waiting child's grant fund

2. Contribute to an adopting family's fundraiser or grant fund

3. Donate to an "orphan care" organization (this is not limited to monetary donations; many organizations have need of "goods and services" as well)

4. SHARE, SHARE, SHARE (aka ADVOCATE)! Every time you share the profile of a waiting child, adopting family or organization, your name will be entered into the giveaway.

Each Friday throughout the month of November (11th, 18th, 25th) we will giveaway several prizes. On November 30th, we will draw winners for the $100 Amazon Gift card and the Kindle Fire.

Please be sure to leave a comment/message on my blog or on Facebook or send me an email letting me know EVERY TIME that you donate, contribute or share.

And now. . . . let the advocacy begin!

Adoption Awareness Month

2011-11-02T11:10:00.004-04:00

November is Adoption Awareness Month.

This is the month we turn our focus to the MILLIONS of children throughout the world living without the love of a family.

This is the time of year when we kick our advocacy efforts into high gear hoping that we can open the eyes of those around us to the plight of the fatherless.

While we are not all called to adopt, we are ALL called to "visit the fatherless and the widows in their affliction." ALL OF US!

When it comes to caring for the fatherless, WE are the Lord's hands and feet.

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. US!

And the Lord isn't just calling, He is COMMANDING us to act.

In the words of Adeye Salem (and I encourage you to read her post in its entirety because it is powerful):

"We’re the Christians, doggone it! We’re God’s beloved church. His beautiful bride. We’re the ones He has already commanded to take care of the orphans.

Yet sadly, we wait.

We wait for God to speak to us in an audible voice, telling us to “GO!” Sometimes He does that audible voice thing, you know.

We wait for the perfect job to come along. Orphan care demands a whole lot of money. How can we possibly afford another mouth to feed?

We wait for the bills to be paid—can’t be taking on more than we can handle.

We wait for the larger house—because adding children requires a large house.

We wait for a few kids to leave the nest before we add more—can’t be having too many children in the home now, can we?

We wait for confirmation with the perfect Scripture to drop into our spirits as a sign that we need to act now.

We wait...for someone else to go.

We wait, we wait, we wait.

And while we wait—they perish."

In the past, I have attempted (and failed miserably) to blog about adoption every day during the month of November. But advocacy requires more than just lip service. Advocacy requires action. So this year I am stepping up my game and I hope that you will too.

Every day during the month of November I WILL blog about adoption. I will (FINALLY) answer the questions asked LAST November regarding adoption and our experiences. I will share the profiles of waiting children. I will spotlight families currently in the adoption process who need your help and your prayers to bring their children home. I will highlight charitable organizations that exist to help care for the fatherless and I will share with you how YOU can answer the call and heed the command to do the same.

I will also be hosting a giveaway each week throughout the month of November. Every time you make a donation to the grant fund of a waiting child or of a family committed to bringing a child home; every time you share the profile of a waiting child or family; every time you make a donation (monetary or otherwise) to an "orphan care" organization, your name will be entered into the giveaway (and will remain in the "pool" until the month is over). Please be sure to leave a comment (on my blog or on Facebook) or send me an email to ensure that your name is entered.

How will YOU answer the call and heed the command to care for the fatherless this month?

An Adoption Update

2011-11-02T09:17:00.003-04:00

There is risk in adoption. Risk of loss. Risk of heartache. Some people shelter their hearts by keeping their journeys private. Historically, I have always been an open book, sharing each step of our journey; failures and successes. It helps to write things down and of course, the support from family, friends and even strangers is priceless.

This adoption has been different.

In the past 18+ months we have experienced three significant losses. The most recent was the "loss" of our two little boys in Eastern Europe. While the decision to withdraw our commitment was absolutely the right thing for our family, letting those little boys go shattered my heart. Fortunately they are both home and thriving in loving families now and that sorrow has turned to joy.

Those of you who have followed our family for awhile might also remember the loss of "Little Boy" in Bulgaria. My heart still aches for him, but had we been able to proceed with his adoption, we would not have been able to bring Alexis home and I know that our feisty Bulgarian beauty was absolutely meant to be a part of our family.

Shortly after receiving the news that we would not be bringing "Little Boy" home, we experienced another loss; one that I have never shared publicly. In February 2010 we welcomed a 15 year-0ld young man with arthrogryposis into our home (and wholeheartedly into our hearts) to provide long-term respite care. The initial arrangements were that he would be with us for at least 6 months, possibly until he was 18 (though we understood that those arrangements could change at any time). This young man was a gift and a blessing to our family and we loved having him with us. Unfortunately, after only a few short weeks and despite the fact that he was thriving in our home, his family chose to remove him from our home due to religious differences. It was absolutely devastating for all of us and we still miss him every day, BUT, after 9 months in respite care with several different families, he is back home with his family and seems to be doing well. We celebrate that success.

Despite the fact that we have loved, lost and overcome, I have still found myself keeping my heart at a safe distance throughout our current adoption process. What if we lost our boys too? Could my heart handle another loss? We went through the motions to complete our homestudy update and gather our dossier documents, hung the boys' pictures on the refrigerator and even joined our local Down Syndrome Association, all the while my head whispering to my heart not to get too close, that this adoption could fail as well.

But last week, as the final dossier documents arrived (USCIS approval and aspostilled FBI clearances) I heard another voice whispering to my heart. "These boys are YOURS," it said, "and I WILL bring them home."

Peace.

Our dossier is complete. Tomorrow I will load the troops into the van and we will drive to Columbus to apostille the remaining documents and send this paper baby on its way to Bulgaria. In a few short months, I will hold my precious babies in my arms and my heart, overflowing with love for these sweet boys, cannot wait for that moment!

Friday's Fabulous Five. . . .on a Tuesday!

2011-11-01T19:40:00.006-04:00

That's right folks! This Fabulous Five has been brought to you on a Tuesday. . .and it will probably be more like a Fabulous six or seven. I enjoy a little ~~procrastination~~ spontaneity from time to time and I hope you will too!

1. Two weeks ago today I received a call that my biological father needed emergency open heart surgery. A few hours later, I was on my way to Indiana to be with him. The following morning he underwent sextuple bypass surgery (honestly, I didn't even know it was possible to bypass that many coronary arteries). Why do I consider emergency open heart surgery fabulous one might ask? Well, the doctors were very clear that, had he waited even a day or two more to be seen, he would've suffered a massive heart attack and due to the severity of the blockage, it would have been fatal. So, while open heart surgery is far from fabulous, I am grateful that my father, who probably hasn't set foot inside a doctor's office in at least 10 years, decided to act upon the prompting of that still, small voice (and the many voices of friends and family) to see a doctor before it was too late. Although he is still a bit battered and bruised (and probably will be for awhile), he is alive and healthy once again and THAT is pretty fabulous in my book!

A few days after surgery, Richard, the kids and I went to visit my father in the hospital. Alayna was especially excited for the opportunity to take a few laps around the hospital floor with her Papaw. It was the first time he had seen her walk since she received her prothesis.

2. While I was in Indiana for my father's surgery, Richard was at home with the kids. In addition to playing the part of "stay-at-home dad" he also got to play the role of "substitute teacher." About halfway through the day I received a call from Mr. Substitute explaining that if he heard the phrase, "But Mommy doesn't do it that way," one more time, he was going to fail them all! It appears that all children, whether attending public/private school or homeschool, are one in the same; they all enjoy tormenting the substitute!

3. Last week Jacob and Lukas were playing quietly in the living room with their Legos when all of a sudden they both started singing "Send Me An Angel" (Real Life, 1983) at the top of their lungs. I couldn't help but laugh (and continue to do so daily as it appears to be their song of choice at the moment)! That song is older than me (but apparently just as catchy today as it was in the 80's)!

4. After I tuck the kids into bed each night I sit in the hallway outside of their bedrooms and read to them. After we have finished a book we have a book party. Last week we finished reading "Charlotte's Web" and on Friday we had our book party. The kids had a great time spelling words in "Charlotte's Web," making spider hats, and playing "Wilbur Says." After dinner we watched the movie (the animated version from 1973) and ate popcorn. It didn't quite rival our chocolate party from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (because really, what rival's a chocolate party?), but a great time was had by all!

Charlotte's Web

Spider hats

5. A few days ago (after launching a surprise "kiss" attack on Jacob), Lukas looked up from his Legos and said, "Mommy, can you come help me when you're done being crazy?" I laughed and thought, "You're going to be waiting for that for a LONG time, kid!"

6. Two weeks ago my mom, the girls and I went "camping" at our local KOA (I use the word camping very lightly because we were in an RV with running water, heat and a television, but hey, we DID have a camp fire and roast marshmallows!). We had a great time eating s'mores (don't worry, we kept Lily FAR away from the graham crackers this time), painting nails and mining for "precious gems" while the boys enjoyed a sleepover with Big Dawg (my step-dad)!

Walking up the steps at the playground all by herself!

Mining

7. Due to the MANY food allergies and intolerances in our family (gluten, dairy, eggs, peanuts and refined sugar), we decided to do Halloween a bit differently this year. Rather than going Trick-or-Treating, we had a family Halloween party. As with any radical change, I was a little nervous about how the kids would react to this change in tradition, but of course, was pleasantly surprised by their acceptance. We set up several games (including a fishing game, "Pin the Spider on the Web," a bean bag toss, and bobbing for apples) and gave out prizes, had a "Monster Ball" complete with Halloween music and at the end, gave out treat bags full of homemade gluten, dairy, egg and (mostly) refined sugar free treats! The kids also helped pass out treats to the neighborhood kids. They had a blast and I breathed a sigh of relief!

Tigger and Pooh (thank goodness for hand-me-down costumes)

Chef Evan

Gone fishin'

Bobbing for apples (Maren was the only one daring enough to stick her head into the water)

Look, Evan lost a tooth. . .and so did his pumpkin!

No Greater Love

2011-10-13T16:18:00.002-04:00

When I was a teenager I read an article in the "New Era" (a magazine published by the LDS church for youth ages 12-18) entitled, "A Brother's Love." The article told the story of a family, moving from Wyoming to Montana. As they crossed the Montana state line, a car traveling in front of their truck slammed on its brakes, causing the trailer being towed by the family's truck to jackknife, spilling the contents of the trailer onto the highway.

As the family worked to clear their belongings from the highway, a large truck barreled towards them going too fast to stop and with no way to go around. Their father shouted to them to get out of the way, but 7 year-old Charlie did not hear his cries. Steven, his 10 year-old brother, tried to push him out of harms way but, tragically, both children were killed.

When the doctor told the boys' mother that he was unable to save them, she responded with her testimony of another who had given His life and of His redeeming love; a love that broke the bands of death and allows us to be reunited with those we love.

Upon reading this story, I was overwhelmed with sadness, but I was also reminded of a passage of scripture: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

I read another article today. This article was written by Dr. Russell Moore, author of "Adopted for Life." The article was entitled, "Don't Adopt!" Dr. Moore explains that, while we are all called in some way to "visit the fatherless and the widows in their affliction," NOT all of us are called to adopt.

At first glance, these two articles seemingly have nothing in common, but at the core of both is this: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

The call to adopt is a call to "lay down your life." If that seems a little extreme, consider the following:

"Every adoption, every orphan, represents a tragedy. Someone was killed, someone left, someone was impoverished, or someone was diseased. Wrapped up in each situation is some kind of hurt, and all that accompanies that. That’s the reason there really is no adoption that is not a “special needs” adoption; you just might not know on the front end what those special needs are.

If what’s behind all of this isn’t crucified, war-fighting, eyes-open commitment, you are going to wind up with a child who is twice orphaned. He or she will be abandoned the first time by fatherlessness and the second time by the rejection of failing to live up to the expectations of parents who had no business imposing such expectations in the first place."

Too many people enter into adoption without fully understanding and accepting the "brokenness and risk" that accompanies the orphan, regardless of the age or the circumstances from which they were adopted. Too often people assume that, because they are "saving" a child from an otherwise miserable life, that child will be grateful and accepting of their new parents, family and home, only to be overwhelmed by a child who turns their world upside down and rejects them because they were once abandoned, neglected and forgotten.

Nothing is more beautiful than watching a child who has experienced tragedy transform through the redeeming love of Christ and a loving, committed family, but that kind of transformation requires you to set yourself aside completely and give everything that you have (and more) to helping that child heal. You do not have to be perfect to do this (I am living testimony of that), you just have to be willing to accept all of the heartache, grief, chaos and upheaval that accompanies adopting/fostering a child. . . .just as the Savior accepts and loves us despite our brokenness.

In the midst of our 6th and 7th adoptions, we have learned to throw "expectations" out the window and recognize that we must fully rely on our Heavenly Father to guide us through the process of integrating these children into our family and healing their hurts, no matter the sacrifice. We prepare our home and family for their addition, but more importantly, we prepare our hearts to love these children unconditionally.

Every time we have welcomed a child into our family it has thrown our world into temporary chaos.

IT. IS. WORTH. IT!

Not everyone is called to adopt (and some shouldn't), but we can ALL answer the call to "visit the fatherless and the widows in their affliction" by giving, supporting and praying for those that have been called to walk that path.

If you feel called to foster/adopt and you are ready to "lay down your life" for a child, move forward in faith, knowing that the Lord WILL equip you with the strength and ability to provide the redeeming love necessary to overcome all hurts; you will be unimaginably blessed.

Alayna has an announcement to make. . .

2011-10-13T10:00:00.004-04:00

. . .After 9.5 years of waiting, she finally has two feet on the ground!

The road has been long with MANY bumps along the way, but through hard work, determination, endurance and always a positive attitude, she has triumphed!

Needless to say, Alayna has a lot to smile about!

We are so proud of our beautiful, brave, determined, faithful and fearless girl!

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

2011-09-29T21:34:00.003-04:00

Lukas: "Mom, can we take showers tonight?"
Me (after a REALLY long day): "Eh, I don't know that I'm up for that tonight."
Lukas: "But we like being clean."
Me: "Cleanliness is really overrated."
Jacob: "But mom, our bodies are temples!"
Me: "Fine."

Lukas. . .who apparently "likes being clean"

Thank you

2011-09-29T19:51:00.005-04:00

To the manager at Chick-fil-A who quietly slipped a $100 gift card onto the windshield of my van while my family was inside enjoying lunch. . . .thank you.

To the mechanics at a Sam's Club in New Jersey who repaired the flat tire on my van for free without even knowing that I was unexpectedly stuck in Philadelphia alone, with eight kids, for two weeks because of an amputation that resulted in a chronic wound. . . .thank you.

To the stranger at a rest stop along the Pennsylvania turnpike, who must've noticed my tired expression as I piled out of the family restroom with all eight of my kids, and followed us out to our van just to tell me what a great job I was doing. . . .thank you.

To my biological father who calls me every week (even though I am rarely able to answer the phone) just to tell me how proud he is and how much he loves me. . . . thank you.

To my husband who came straight home from work on Monday morning and sent me to bed because I was so sick I could hardly stand, much less meet the needs of my family. . . .thank you.

To my friend and visiting teacher, Laura, who loaded her kids into the car yesterday and showed up on my doorstep unannounced, just to bring me flowers. . .thank you.

To my friend, Andy, who took the time to remind me tonight that I have been blessed with the opportunity and ability to do amazing things. . . .thank you.

To my Heavenly Father, who loves me so much that He has placed all of these people along my path to help me through this difficult journey. . . thank you.

It has been a HARD day. Truth be told, I could say that about every day for the past year.

HARD.

HARD.

HARD.

I don't share many of those struggles here. I should. The problem is, I am an eternal optimist. When life hands me proverbial lemons, I make lemonade. It can be my greatest strength. It can also be my greatest weakness. Most of the time it is simply a coping mechanism. I share the joys, triumphs and blessings in life, not to paint an unrealistic picture, but because focusing on those things carries me through the daily struggles, heartaches and trials.

The Lord has called me to do hard things. Each day I wake up with a new mountain to climb. The terrain is rough and, at the end of the day I am bloodied and bruised, but the view from the top is so worth the climb. The best part is, I have been given the tools to conquer the mountain. I know who I am, I know why I am here and I know what the Lord has called me to do. When I slip, when I fall, when I can't quite reach that next step, He is there to bear me up and it is usually through the encouraging words of a stranger, the unconditional love of a child, the prayers of a friend or the loving support of family.

So to each and every one of you who has made this journey just a little bit easier; to those of you who have been an instrument in the Lord's hands in bearing me up, I say, "Thank you!" The view from the top is even better when you are surrounded by those who helped you get there.

Memory Lane Monday- To Eternity and Beyond

2011-09-26T10:01:00.003-04:00

On Saturday evening I had the privilege of attending the General Relief Society Broadcast. For those who are unfamiliar with "Relief Society," this is the organization within the LDS church for women 18+. The General Relief Society Broadcast occurs once every year and is comprised of inspirational messages from the churches leadership to women worldwide.

This broadcast always occurs the Saturday following our anniversary. A week after Richard and I were married, I attended the broadcast. I do not remember all of the words that were spoken, but I do vividly remember walking out to my car that evening to go home. In the driver's seat were seven, beautiful roses (one for each day we had been married) and a card that read, "Thanks for an amazing first week. Looking forward to the rest of eternity!"

Though I no longer receive roses on the seat of my car when I leave the broadcast each year, I know that I will find a loving, supportive husband at home who has fed, bathed and put the kids to bed, the dishes will be done, and the laundry cycling, because he understands the importance of the lessons I will learn and the spirit that I will bring home. With eight young children who still need a lot of encouragement and assistance, this is no small feat, but he does it willingly because he loves me, then, now and for eternity.

I am blessed to be married to a man who supports and encourages me in all of my endeavors. Richard spends most of his time "behind the scenes" (exactly where he likes to be. . .he holds his anonymity sacred) working hard to support this family that we have built. Very rarely does he receive the praises and accolades that he deserves (he is possibly the hardest working person I have ever met), but it should be noted that I could not do anything that I do without him standing beside me. So to my husband I say, "Thanks for nine amazing years! Looking forward to the rest of eternity!"

The General Relief Society Broadcast was once again, uplifting and inspiring, especially the address given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. While specifically addressing women of the LDS faith, I believe that his address will uplift and inspire ALL daughters of God, regardless of their faith, and I encourage you all to take the time to be inspired by his words.

Service Saturday: Miami Valley Buddy Walk

2011-09-24T16:36:00.004-04:00

I love a good "Service Saturday!" This morning, Richard, the kids and I rose before the sun, donned our brightest apparel and ventured down to the Miami Valley Down Syndrome Association Buddy Walk to represent Reece's Rainbow.

Our family (as well as my parents and good friend, Stacey) had the privilege of sharing our passion for orphans with Down syndrome and other special needs with any and all who would hear our message. I was humbled as I watched my children eagerly walk through the crowds of people, passing out information and advocating for the children of Reece's Rainbow, whom they have come to love so dearly.

Of course, the greatest privilege was the opportunity we had to meet so many wonderful people with Down syndrome, young and old, and all of the people who love and support them. There were over 2500 people in attendance and it moved me to tears as I watched this mass of people, this FAMILY (a family that we will soon be a part of as we welcome Benjamin and Thomas into our family), walk in support of their loved ones.

As usual, WE were the ones that were blessed by this opportunity to serve others. We can't wait to participate in the Buddy Walk again next year. . . .this time with Benjamin and Thomas in tow!

9th Annual Rieben Family Founders Day

2011-09-21T21:21:00.008-04:00

Nine years ago today I knelt across an altar from my best friend and I promised him eternity. A new family was created and a new journey began.

We never could have imagined, as we walked out of the temple that day, where that journey would take us, but we knew the Lord had great things in store for us. We moved forward in faith and He has never disappointed!

Most people refer to this day as their anniversary and we did too, until we began welcoming children into our family. We now refer to it as "Family Founders Day"; the birth of our family. It is a celebration of where our journey began and where it has since taken us. It is a day that we celebrate the sacredness, joy and blessings of marriage. We also celebrate each member of our family.

Each Founder's Day we introduce our family theme and scripture for the year. This year our theme will be "Love one another" and the scripture, John 13:34-35:

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

We display the flags from each country that our family is comprised of and we create a family flag, displaying our theme for the year, celebrating our diversity and reminding us that, no matter where we came from or how we got here, we are united as a forever family in our love for each other and for the Lord.

We share stories and pictures with our children of how we met, our engagement and our wedding day. We also share the stories of how each of our children joined our family.

We enjoy a great "feast," complete with chocolate cake (and candles of course. . .it is our family's birthday after all) and afterwards we spotlight each family member and share with them all of the things we love about them and why we are blessed to have them in our family.

At the end of the day, we kneel (or sit. . .not all of us have knees, you know) together as a family and offer our thanks to our Heavenly Father for the incredible blessings that he has poured out upon our family, and promise that we will always strive to glorify Him in all that we do and say throughout the coming year.

(What you can do without knees)

Nine years ago today I knelt across an altar from by best friend and promised him eternity. Hand-in-hand we have walked the paths that the Lord has shown us. Through blessings and trials, joy and sorrow, happiness and tears, in partnership with our Father in Heaven, we have created something beautiful; a blessing that we celebrate each and every day!

Happy Founders Day!

Homeschool 101: Your questions answered

2011-09-16T16:25:00.002-04:00

Over the course of the past year I have received many requests to share information about our decision to homeschool and how we manage to do so with eight children between the ages of 4-9 (with the added challenge of special needs and English language learning). Rather than cover all of the ins and outs in one post, I have decided to divide and conquer in order to cover each aspect in more depth.

Before I begin this series of posts, I would like to open the floor to my blog readers.

What would you like to know? Ask me your questions, I'll give you my answers. . . . .

Friday's Fabulous Five

2011-09-16T11:45:00.002-04:00

1. Yesterday, for practice reading, each of the kids read the BOB book entitled, "OK, Kids." The book begins, "Mom and Dad had ten kids." I chuckled as each of my kids declared, upon reading this, "Wow! That's a lot of kids!" I mean, really, who in their right mind has 10 KIDS!?

2. Yesterday, and again this morning, Lily proactively selected a book and brought it to me to read to her. I do individual story time with my children each day. Most of them initiate this on their own. Lily never has. I have always chosen the book (though I try to encourage her to make the choice) and invited her to read with me. She always enjoys the quality, one-on-one time, but she never initiates it. In addition to initiating story time, she also held on to my finger and moved it along the words as I read while trying to repeat what I was saying. She is making the connection! Have I mentioned that, in the past month, she has also learned to recognize all of her letters and can say almost all of her letter sounds? HUGE! I have been delinquent in sharing information about Lily's struggles and her progress over the past year. I hope to remedy that soon, but please believe me when I say that each sweet, seemingly little, morsel such as this is equivalent to a decadent piece of chocolate cake (gluten-free, of course) where Lily is concerned.

3. Last Friday, Richard and I drove to Cincinnati to complete our USCIS fingerprints, necessary for the approval of our I800A. Personally, I always DREAD this part of the process. USCIS officer's (and most government employees for that matter) are generally not known for their exceptional customer service. It can make rolling out of bed at 5 am so that you can drive through rush hour traffic in order to be fingerprinted for the millionth time in the past 4 years, a really miserable experience. Imagine my delight and surprise when we walked into the office and were greeted with a smile and a very friendly and personable government employee! In addition to the positive experience with USCIS, I welcome any opportunity I am given to spend some quality time ALONE with my husband. . .even if it is sitting in morning rush hour traffic :-)

4. It is currently 65 degrees outside (and has been for most of the week)! FALL! My favorite time of year. Now if I could just channel my inner Mary Poppins, snap my fingers and have my children's summer and fall/winter wardrobes switch themselves, I'd be in heaven!

5. Last Saturday evening, Lukas lost his very first tooth. By Sunday night a second tooth was hanging by a thread. He was hesitant to pull it out, afraid that it would hurt. Despite our best efforts, we could not convince him to let us pull the tooth. Finally, Jacob piped up from the next room, "Think of the money Lukas! We'll be rich!" Richard and I are still laughing about it days later. Unfortunately, the promise of riches did not persuade Lukas to action. That tooth is still resting precariously in Lukas' mouth today :-)

Friday's Fabulous Five

2011-09-09T09:12:00.000-04:00

What the title of this post should actually read is "Friday's Fabulous 40" because I am fairly certain that it has been THAT long since I have reported any happenings, fabulous or otherwise, from the Rieben roost. Let's face it, I am anything but a stellar blogger and the truth is, sometimes life just gets in the way.

It is easy to justify why I simply don't have the time to sit down and blog, but then, in the midst of all of my justifications, I remember why I created this blog in the first place and I am reminded. . . .it isn't about me. It never was. So, it's time to suck it up and make the time, because the fact of the matter is, I believe that it is important to share these experiences and this journey with you.

While it would be impossible to do justice to all of the "fabulous" moments that we have experienced over the past few months, I will once again attempt to redeem myself by sharing a small part of those things with you:

1. On July 8th, Evan celebrated his 7th birthday. Birthday's are always exciting, but this particular birthday marked a significant milestone. Evan has now been a part of our family longer than he was not. In the adoption world, this milestone is monumental.

2. On July 16th, Alayna was baptized. Obviously we are incredibly proud of her for making the decision to follow in the Savior's footsteps, but this day also served to remind us that, when we adopt a child, we are not just providing them with the love of a family, but with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and THAT is the greatest gift that we could ever help to facilitate!

Outside of the church on Alayna's baptism day

3. On July 21st-23rd we borrowed my parent's RV, loaded up the van and headed to Hueston Woods State park (with the heat index at 110) to attend the Bulgarian Adoptees Reunion. It was miserably hot, but we had a great time sweating it out together as a family and getting to know other Bulgarian Adoptive families and their children. That is, until Lily swiped a graham cracker during a group campfire and woke up at 3am covered from head to toe in diarrhea (did I mention that we were CAMPING and that it was 1000 degrees outside). . . .but I digress. This is a post about fabulous things and gluten-induced diarrhea during a camp out is anything but.

Lukas and Maren collecting fossils at Hueston Woods State Park

Forget fossils. Jacob found this snake skin infinitely cooler!

Despite the ridiculous heat, Joshua insisted on skateboarding wherever we went

Alayna showing off her fossil collection

Alayna designed this T-shirt on her own. Love it.

5. On July 29th, the tribe and I piled back into the van and headed for Philadelphia so that Alayna could FINALLY be fitted for her prosthetic. It was truly FABULOUS!

Bonding over mosaics in the clinic waiting room at Shriners

Exam room fun

Alayna's prosthetic fitting! YAY!

6. After our appointments at Shriner's, the kids and I drove to Buena Vista, Virginia where we had the privilege of spending a day with our "Uncle" Sean (who was interning at Southern Virginia University for the summer) and our good friends, Cameron and Heather. We enjoyed the Natural Bridge Safari Park (and spent the next 3 weeks vacuuming animal feed out of the van) and Heather's amazing, homemade chili before we hit the road again to head for Lexington, Kentucky to celebrate my grandma's birthday. Just in case you weren't keeping a tally, that's one mom, eight kids, four days, Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Virginia and Kentucky. We had a great time . . . . and spent the next week sleeping. . . .I wish :-)

Sean and Maren feeding a llama at the Natural Bridge Safari Park

Ostrich!

7. On August 6th, Alayna, Lilyana and Alexis were sealed to our family for time and all eternity in the Columbus, Ohio Temple. When a judge declared them our daughters 8 and 14 months ago, they were legally our children. As Richard and I knelt at an alter with our girls, all dressed in white, surrounded by our family and friends, our girls became ours FOREVER.

8. On September 1st we headed back to Philadelphia so that Alayna could try out her test socket. She did an AWESOME job! Her prosthetist and physical therapist were blown away by how well she did and the smile on her face at finally having two feet on the ground was priceless. Of course, I forgot my camera!

"All About My Mom and Dad"- A lesson about love

2011-06-24T23:49:00.009-04:00

As part of our history curriculum the kids are learning to keep their own histories by writing in a journal regularly. At least three times per week I sit down with each of the kids and ask them about a particular topic. They narrate, I write, they illustrate. Aside from being a great keepsake (and hopefully a lifelong habit of journaling), it has been a wonderful opportunity for quality one-on-one time.

Earlier this week, I asked the kids to tell me a little about themselves. Yesterday I asked them to tell me a little about their mom and dad. It was a wonderfully sweet (and eye opening) experience to listen to them share their thoughts about their dad and I. With their permission, I'd like to share some of those thoughts. I should probably mention before I begin that we did our journal writing right before dinner which may account for the constant mention of food from every single one of them (I highly doubt it is because I am such a superb cook. . .I'm really not!).

Alayna: My dad makes fries and pizza. Sometimes he makes sandwiches for lunch. He vacuums. He takes me to the potty at night. He takes me to the park. He runs errands. My dad goes to work. Before he goes he gives us hugs and sings, "So Long, Farewell." He goes to the store to buy food. My mom takes me to Philadelphia. Soon I will get my prosthetic there. Sometimes she goes to meetings. She takes me to the potty. She makes breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. She takes me to the doctor. My mom loves me. She tucks me in at night. She makes gluten-free pizza. She cleans the house. She is helping me write my history.

Alexis: My daddy goes to work. He gives me hugs and sings me songs. He takes me to McDonalds. He takes me to the store. My mom goes to the store. Mommy makes breakfast, lunch and dinner. Mommy helps me with schoolwork and reads to me. She watches "Phineas and Ferb" with me. Mommy gives me hugs and kisses.

Evan: I love my dad. He takes good care of me. He helps me get dressed. He earns money. I love to run errands with my dad. I love my mom. I love her cooking. I love her because she takes good care of me. I love her because she helps me go potty. I love her because she helps me get dressed and she feeds me. She helps me do schoolwork.

Maren: My dad plays baseball with me. He takes me on errands. He makes yummy waffles on Saturday. He plays Hide-n-seek with me. He's in love with my mom. Mommy makes eggs, muffins and pancakes. Mommy teaches me math. Mommy helps me with my worksheets. Mommy gives me baths. I like to read and do school with mommy. Mommy makes smoothies. I love mommy and daddy.

Lukas: My dad is cute. He makes me smile. I love my dad. My dad plays with me all the time. He goes to work to earn money. My dad teaches me that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. My mom is cute. She teaches me lots of lessons. I love my mom. I like to do school with her. I also like her cooking.

Jacob: I like my dad because he plays baseball with me. Daddy plays games with me. Daddy goes to work. He earns money and helps raise money for our babies. Mommy makes yummy pizza. She makes me smile (Daddy makes me smile too). She makes yummy homemade fries. I like to play games with my mom. I like to hang out with her too. She makes pretty things for our house. She says prayers with me.

Joshua was "too tired" to share his thoughts with me yesterday so I will have to share them another time. Lily isn't quite ready to narrate her thoughts yet, but she lets us know how she feels about mommy and daddy in other ways (she loves to look through picture albums and point out all of the pictures of mommy and daddy. . .this is HUGE for her).

It was very interesting to see what was important to each of our children. It was particularly interesting to see how much our older adopted children (who came to us at 3.5, 7, 7 and 8) focused their thoughts on basic necessities (food, clothing, toileting, hugs and kisses), needs that often went unmet in their previous situations (Evan especially). Our biological children (who have never had to go without the basic necessities) focused their thoughts more on activities, quality time and relationships.

What a blessing it was to get such an intimate look into how our children see us. As always, I am humbled by the simplicity of their unconditional love (and their willingness to overlook our MANY faults) and I am reminded that it is the little things that matter most to our little people. They are watching us ("Daddy is in love with my mom"), they DO listen to us ("My dad teaches me that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do") and EVERYTHING we do matters to them! Once again, I tip my hat to my children for teaching me the most valuable lessons in life.

Friday's Fabulous Five

2011-06-24T19:58:00.006-04:00

Last week (Thursday-Saturday) was our 4th Annual Adoption Yard/Bake Sale. Needless to say, I didn't have much left to give by Friday evening, hence the absence of last week's Fabulous Five. So, here are five things that have happened in the last TWO weeks that have given the Riebens something to smile about:

1. Like many of you who are claiming the Adoption Tax Credit (now refundable), we are STILL waiting for our refund (we filed our taxes at the beginning of February). We had hoped to use this money to fund our current adoption, but unfortunately, it looks like we are going to have to raise the bulk of the funds for this adoption the old fashioned way! For the past 6+ weeks, friends, family and even strangers have cleaned their closets and donated items to our 4th Annual Adoption Yard/Bake Sale which we held last Thursday-Saturday. Prior to the sale, we prayed that we would be able to raise enough money to get through the next steps in the adoption process. As things drew to a close on Saturday afternoon and we began adding the money we realized that we had raised the EXACT amount needed to file our I800A and complete our dossier! For those of you who are considering taking the leap of faith to adopt a child, but are worried about finances, let this be another lesson that, if the Lord calls you to it, He'll see you through it! We'd like to offer an ENORMOUS "Thank you!" to all who donated, shopped, helped and supported us in this endeavor!

2. I am happy to announce that, sweet Rieben baby #10 (previously "He-who-is-yet-to-be-named") now has a name! The name that we have chosen is one that has been pushing itself to the front of my mind for a long time, but because it has never been on my list of favorites, I have always casually pushed it aside. As I settled into bed one night last week, I found the name swimming around inside my head once again. The next morning, Richard poked his head out of the shower and asked me if I had considered this name (I had not mentioned it to him previously). The fact that the name had been on both of our minds and that we actually agreed upon it made it golden, but before we made it official I decided to see what the name meant. . . .and I laughed, realizing once again what a great sense of humor our Heavenly Father has! The name means, "Twin." No, the boys are NOT twins, but they are only a few weeks apart in age, share an extra chromosome and certainly LOOK like they could be twins and already, people are referring to them as "the twins." As a mother of multiples, this drives me CRAZY! At the same time, I recognize this name to be a beautiful reminder that these precious boys, though they did not share a womb, were meant to walk through this life together as brothers. So, now that you have all waited SO patiently while I have rambled on and on about this name, Rieben baby #10 will be known as. . . . .

Thomas Christopher (TC)

3. Just in case you didn't hear us celebrating this piece of good news around the world. . . .Alayna's second skin graft was a SUCCESS!!!! She is still taking it easy as the new skin settles into it's new home and puts down roots, but her chronic wound is officially no more and we could not be happier. We will be heading back to Philadelphia at the end of July for her first prosthetic fitting and are hopeful that she will have two feet on the ground and be running circles around us all by the end of the summer! Hallelujah!!!

4. While most of you were relaxing by the pool, playing at the park and working on your tans this week, the Rieben kids were hard at work. . . . .at school! We started school again at our house this week. Earlier in the year (as we were driving back and forth to Philadelphia every few weeks), we made the decision to follow a "year-round" school schedule. Not only does this accommodate our traveling better than a "traditional" schedule, but it has helped our children who are behind (Alayna, Lily and Alexis in particular) have more opportunity to "catch up," AND it helps us to maintain a more consistent schedule (which is vital for so many of our kids, adopted and biological). We have had an EXCELLENT first week and, although homeschooling 8 children does make me want to pull my hair out on a regular basis, it also gives me A LOT to smile about! Seeing my children get excited about learning and knowing that I helped to facilitate that love and excitement is incredibly rewarding!

A glimpse of our "school room!" (we found these desks on Craigslist and were able to purchase 10 of them for $75! What a steal! And it has made such a difference for the kids to have their own work space.)

We learned a little about archaeology in school this week. Today we set up our own archaeological dig site in our backyard.

Our site manager

Budding archaeologists

Our record keeper (Lukas would be a brilliant archaeologist. . .he is incredibly detail oriented and organized. He LOVED this activity!)

5. This week the kids and I started a project to benefit other adoptive families. It combines my love of creating beautiful things with my love for adoption AND my kids are an integral part of it! We're not quite ready to share all of the details yet, but we are SO excited for this opportunity to bless other families on their adoption journeys! As a sneak preview, these fun fabrics will be a part of our creations. . . .

Friday's Fabulous Five

2011-06-10T00:00:00.005-04:00

Several years ago I started keeping a "joy journal." At the end of each day, I would write down five things that had happened that day that made me smile. I called them my "Fabulous Five." It is so easy to get caught up in the challenges of raising children that I was forgetting that the joy in motherhood often comes in moments and, rather than focusing on these moments, I was letting them pass me by. In the beginning there were days where it was really a stretch to think of five "fabulous" moments, but as I continued to look for those joyful moments of motherhood each day, I discovered that those things naturally became the focus of my day, allowing the challenges and frustrations to fade into the background.

It is also easy when blogging to focus only on the "big" events in life and to gloss over the little things that make day-to-day life so sweet. Beginning today, I would like to introduce "Friday's Fabulous Five," an opportunity to share with you a few of the joyful moments that we experience each week! So without further ado, here are a few things that have given the Rieben's something to smile about over the past few weeks. . . .

1. Last Thursday, my sister-in-law, Lauren and my brother, Ben, welcomed their first child into the world. Miss Kayden Paige entered the world at 9.5lbs and 21 inches (Lauren is my hero)! She is a beautiful baby and I cannot wait to get my hands on her!

Kayden Paige

2. With so much going on in the past few weeks, I have managed to get a little behind with the laundry, particularly MY laundry. When I went to get dressed last Friday morning, I discovered that I was out of clean jeans. . . .except for the "skinny" jeans tucked away in the deep recesses of my dresser drawer. Preparing myself for disappointment, I pulled out a pair, took a deep breath, stepped in. . . . .and pulled them right on! It was a GREAT day :-)

3. Last Friday, Alayna finally got her new glasses (she has needed a stronger prescription for quite a while and has been without her glasses for several months now). When she put them on she gasped and said, "I can see!!!" Then she turned and looked at me and said, "Mommy, I see you. . . .you have a little head!" She has insisted on calling me "Little head" ever since. It always puts a smile on my face.

4. Nothing relieves stress after a long week like a Friday night dance party (those of you who are LDS might recognize some of the songs. . .the CD is called "Popcorn Bopping'" and consists of jazzed up versions of many of the Primary songs. . .hilarious!)

5. Last, but DEFINITELY not least. . . .Last Friday we received word from Bulgaria that the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) had accepted our commitment application for two precious baby boys with Down syndrome! Surprise! Introducing #9 and #10:

Benjamin Daniel
(named after two of my amazing little brothers)

AND

"He-who-is-yet-to-be-named" :-)
(accepting any and all suggestions that work with Christopher as a middle name)

Knowing when to say, "When!"

2011-06-09T10:56:00.005-04:00

Making complicated medical decisions on behalf of your children is never easy. Those decisions WILL alter your child's life (hopefully for the better) and consequently, yours as well. Making the decision to travel to Philadelphia to receive a higher standard of medical care for several of our children was NOT a difficult decision. When we made that choice over 3 years ago, we knew what it would entail, but we readily accepted the challenge because we also understood the difference it would make in the lives of our children receiving treatment and our family as a whole.

On January 27th, Alayna had her right leg amputated through the knee in Philadelphia. . . just three weeks after bringing Alexis home from Bulgaria. Alayna had been looking forward to this surgery since we picked her up from the orphanage in July. She was ready for a prosthesis and the chance to finally put two feet on the ground-the chance to walk and run! We never could have guessed at that time that we would spend the next 4+ months traveling back and forth to Philadelphia trying to heal a chronic wound caused by the improper healing of her surgical incision.

After 8 trips to Philadelphia, the healing of Alayna's wound had stopped progressing. It seemed we had reached a plateau and nothing we tried seemed to help. In addition, her pain was beginning to increase and it got to a point where I think she could feel every raw nerve ending across the surface of her wound (8cm long, 4cm wide). She was miserable.

Alayna was not the only one suffering from this prolonged healing process. After four months of traveling back and forth to Philadelphia, never truly being able to establish a firm routine, all of the kids were paying the price and it was evident in their behavior. The chaos was particularly hard on Alexis, who had very little time to adjust before being thrown into the whirlwind of traveling back and forth between home and Philadelphia.

As I sat in the waiting room at the pediatric dental office one day, watching my children struggle to control their emotions, listening to Alayna moan in agony because of her pain and reminding Alexis for the fifth time in ten minutes that it was not appropriate to sit on random strangers laps, I knew it was time to change directions. I wasn't being fair to my children and it was wreaking havoc on everyone. I made the decision right then and there that we would continue to seek treatment for Alayna's wound closer to home where we could be more aggressive with treatment and where we could establish a solid routine that would only be disrupted for hours at a time rather than days.

As soon as we left the dentists office I called our pediatrician and made an appointment for Alayna to be seen 15 minutes later. After examining the wound, our doctor placed a call to the general surgeons office at our local children's hospital (a doctor who just happened to specialize in burns and chronic wounds). Two hours later we met with the general surgeon to establish a new game plan and, less than 24 hours later, Alayna was in surgery for a skin graft.

Unfortunately, the first graft didn't take :-( Alayna's wound is located on the back of her right thigh and is under constant friction from sitting, laying down and even pulling her pants on and off, none of which promote healing. This is what caused her surgical incision to open in the first place.

Two weeks after her first graft (last Friday), she went back to the operating room to undergo a second skin graft. Although the first graft did not take, the wound HAD decreased quite a bit in size and the doctor felt much more confident that this graft would take. To increase the chances, a cast was also applied to her right leg to protect the graft site. We should know this afternoon whether or not this graft will take. . . . .

While changing directions in our treatment plan has certainly not been stress-free (far from it actually), it HAS allowed all of us an opportunity to spend more time focusing on establishing a routine that will help our family thrive as a whole and has also allowed us to focus more on the individual needs of our children (giving us the chance to move from "survival mode" to finally finding a "new normal").

When you have multiple children with significant special needs, it is SO easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of doctor's appointments, therapies, treatments and surgeries. It is easy to forget that, while those things are important and often vital, it is just as important to allow your children the opportunity to just be children. Sometimes you just have to know when to say, "when!" and I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father's guidance when it comes to making these life-changing decisions. He ALWAYS knows best!

We are still far from the finish line, but we can finally see the light at the end of this tunnel and, once we reach it, we will be taking a nice, LOOONG break!

The Readers Digest version

2011-05-07T20:05:00.013-04:00

On January 1st I boarded a plane, bound for Bulgaria, to bring our daughter Alexis home. What I didn't realize then was that I was actually boarding the crazy train, destination not in sight :-) Since that fateful day, we have been on one wild ride. At some point I hope to go back and chronicle each adventure in detail, but for now, I give you the "Readers Digest" version of the last 4 months:

I spent January 1st-7th in Bulgaria, finalizing our daughter, Alexis', adoption. If you are just joining in on the fun, you can read all about it here.

Alexis and I arrived home on January 8th, which also happened to be Richard and Joshua's birthday (best birthday present ever, right?)! We celebrated a few days later, but unfortunately it appears that my camera was not invited to the party, because there is not a single picture in existence!

Daddy and Joshua (Easter 2011)

Doctors appointments, post placement reports, homestudy updates, playing catch up with school and adjusting to life with a new family member, consumed the next two weeks. If you're hoping for more details about this period of our lives you might want to start praying for a miracle because it was such a blur that I am having trouble remembering anything other than the fact that we all came out alive!

On January 22nd, our triplets, Maren, Lukas and Jacob, celebrated their 6th birthday! Can you believe that it was only six years ago that our adventures in parenthood began!? To say that the Lord has given us an increase might be a bit of an understatement ;-) Furthermore, can you believe that in just six years our tiny babies have grown from this:

Into this:

How I love this crazy trio of energy, intelligence, compassion, laughter and Christ-like love! More evidence of how much my Father in Heaven loves me!

On January 26th, Alayna and I loaded up the car and headed to Philadelphia for surgery. . . .in the middle of a blizzard! Everything was smooth sailing until we reached West Virginia, then the snow began. The next 10+ hours involved white knuckles, 30 mile per hour speeds and lots of adrenaline. At one point, we were even sideswiped by a semi (and I might have peed my pants just a little!). BUT, 13 hours after leaving home, we arrived at our destination, slightly terrified and extremely tired, but in one piece!

On January 27th Alayna had her right leg amputated through the knee and a tenotomy on her left foot (this is one of those topics that I plan to expound upon in the future, but remember, we still have 3 months of adventure to cover). Two days later she was discharged from the hospital and we began the trek back home, this time, in much calmer weather!

Alayna's right leg and left foot before surgery

Another view of her right leg before

Alayna's right leg and left foot after surgery

Less than 24 hours after surgery she is unphased and wishing I would leave her alone so that she could listen to her music

Two weeks after Alayna's surgery I returned to Philadelphia, this time with all 8 kids in tow, for a post-surgical follow-up appointment for Alayna, as well as appointments for Joshua and Evan. As I was changing the dressing on Alayna's leg the night before her appointment, I noticed that her incision had dehisced (that's fancy for, "the surgical incision had opened up"). Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) this was not the first time that we had experienced wound dehiscence, so I knew immediately that we were likely in for a real "treat"! After examining the wound, the doctor sent us home with the necessary supplies to apply wet-to-dry dressings 2-3 times per day and we scheduled a follow-up appointment for two weeks later.

The kids and I returned to Philadelphia 2 weeks later. The wound had continued to open but it WAS healing so I was given instructions to continue the wet-to-dry dressings and return again in two weeks.

Outside of the Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey-Our home away from home

So, two weeks later, the kids and I returned to Philadelphia again. At this point the wet-to-dry dressings were not keeping the wound moist enough (despite how often I changed the dressing) and we had reached a plateau in the healing process. Several wound care specialists were called in to look at Alayna's leg and together we came up with a new plan. Unfortunately, this plan involved an extended stay in Philadelphia. What I thought would be a routine trip of 2-3 days had suddenly turned into 2 weeks. . . .by myself, with 8 kids, totally unprepared :-) Have I mentioned how much I love a good adventure!? Fortunately, Richard happened to be on a business trip in Washington DC and he and his dad spent a day gathering needed "supplies" that they sent with my mother in-law to drop off for us on her way to visit my sister in-law in New York (did you catch all that?).

We know how to make ourselves at home in small hospital exam rooms :-)

Truth be told, other than the initial stress of learning that we would be staying for 2 weeks, not two days and trying to figure out all of the logistics (specifically, managing all of our diet restrictions away from home (Lily (Celiac) is gluten and dairy free and Lukas (ADHD) is gluten, dairy, egg and refined sugar free), the kids and I had a great time. In the past 3 years, we have been to Philadelphia over 50 times and this was the first time we have ever had the opportunity to really experience Philadelphia. We had a blast doing it.

Two weeks after we arrived, we were given the green light to go home and, yep, you guessed it, return two weeks later. And we have lived our lives in two week intervals ever since (But don't worry, this isn't really anything new. Remember how I said we've been to Philadelphia 50+ times in the past 3 years?)!

Our most recent adventure in Philadelphia (some of you may notice a familiar face. . .that amazing smile belongs to Aaron Nalle, recently rescued from an institution in Ukraine, now changing lives with his incredible spirit and fantastic smile!)

Don't worry, our trips to Philadelphia aren't the only things keeping us busy. During the past 3 months we have also had 9000 other doctors appointments (closer to home, thank goodness), Richard has been on 5 business trips and is still in school part time, and Alexis fractured her arm during one of our rare three week breaks (Daddy+6 kids on a trampoline=not a happy ending).

Now, lest you think that the past 3+ months have been all trials and no smiles, let me assure you that we have had much cause to celebrate as well.

On March 13th, Lily celebrated her 8th birthday. This was her first birthday in our family and she loved it so much she is STILL talking about it!! She has also started attending school part time, and, after the initial adjustment, she is loving it (many more details to come on this subject later).

On April 28th, Alayna celebrated her 9th birthday. Unfortunately, we had to spend her birthday in the car driving to Philadelphia, but before we hit the road, we were able to start our day with gifts and a breakfast of double chocolate cupcakes. But the celebration didn't end there. The staff at the Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey was waiting for her with a huge stack of birthday presents when we arrived that evening AND, when we returned home, she was able to celebrate her birthday again with her Nana (who she just happens to share a birthday and her love of all things chocolate with)!

Alayna and Nana celebrating life and chocolate!

Perhaps one of the most exciting developments of the past 3 months however, is that. . . . .EVAN IS WALKING!!!! That's right folks, Evan is on the move! In his own words, he is a "walking machine!"

A trio of "walking machines"! So proud of my incredible kids and all that they have overcome!

He finally received his new braces (KAFO's) in mid-February and he has been up on his feet ever since! He still needs to use his walker for support, BUT, just a few days ago he took his first completely independent steps! I have a feeling he'll be running circles around us all very soon! And to think that we were told (many times) that he would NEVER walk! Doctors! What do they know!?

Obviously I am leaving out a lot of details, but this IS the Reader's Digest version. I do intend to go back and fill in the blanks on many of our recent adventures because I do feel that it is important to share the things that we have learned and experienced over the past few months. It has been exhausting, stressful and, at times, downright overwhelming, but these experiences have also been the most rewarding experiences of my life and I have learned and grown so much.

The following slideshow is the Readers Digest version of the past 4 months in pictures. The song ("Falling Into You" by Caleb Rowden), aside from being one of my current favorites, serves to remind ME why I do what I do. "For ye are bought with a price: therefore, glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Corinthians 6:20). My Savior ransomed me with His life and with His blood and so I give my life to Him by answering His call to love and serve the children that He has and will yet entrust to me. It is the most challenging thing I have ever done. It is the most worthwhile thing I will ever do. It is for Him.

We interrupt this prolonged silence. . . .

2011-05-05T20:55:00.009-04:00

Yep. It has really been 3 months since my last post. I would apologize, but truthfully, I just needed a break; some time to process all of the ups, downs and in betweens of the past, oh, 3 years or so :-) But this silence has gone on long enough and I am here to break it with some truly joyful news.

Do you remember Dusty? My son, Jacob, had been a prayer warrior for sweet Dusty for a year, praying faithfully for him to find a family every, single day, when we decided to increase our advocacy efforts for him at Christmastime. While we worked to raise money for his grant fund, a wonderful family stepped forward and answered the Lord's call to bring Dusty home. They worked tirelessly to complete their paperwork and, in the process, experienced the many ups and downs that accompany the call to adopt. In mid-April they traveled to Dusty's country and I am happy to announce that Dusty is an orphan no more! Last Thursday, a judge declared Dusty (and his new sister, Sonya) an official member of the Hinz family!

I am embarrassed to admit that I am STILL working to finish Dusty's quilt, but I am almost there and hope to have it waiting for him when he arrives home with his new mommy and daddy in just a few weeks. There is still room on the quilt for the names of those who donated, prayed or advocated for Dusty and/or the Hinz family, so please let me know (ASAP) if you would like your name to be included. If you are just joining us in our efforts to help the Hinz family on their journey and would like to be a part of Dusty's quilt, there is still an opportunity!

The Hinz family is currently holding an iPad 2/iphone 4 giveaway to raise the remaining funds needed to bring Dusty and Sonya home. To learn more about how to enter their giveaway, click here.

I am also extremely happy to report that another little boy who is very near and dear to my heart will soon be joining his forever family. Just DAYS after we withdrew our commitment to Gage, a family stepped forward to bring him home. Not just any family, but a family who had JUST returned home from his country, his very orphanage, with their daughter (and Gage's best friend). A family who already knows and loves him! Words cannot express how my heart rejoiced when I heard this news. My heart still ached knowing that I would not be the one to wrap him in my arms and in my love and call him my son, but to know the he would be joining such an amazing, wonderful and loving family allowed my heart to heal. And, as a reminder of just how mindful the Lord is of me, He gave me the awesome opportunity to meet Gage's new mommy and daddy while I was in Philadelphia about a month ago. What a blessing and privilege it was getting to know Carolyn and David DeVowe and their precious new daughter, Madeline. There is no doubt in my mind that this is exactly where the Lord intended Gage to be!

On May 30th, the DeVowes will meet with adoption officials in Gage's country and receive his official referral and in just a few short weeks, Gage will be an orphan no more! Isn't our Heavenly Father AMAZING! Please keep the DeVowe family and Gage in your prayers as they travel to Gage's country to complete his adoption!

Obviously after 3 months of silence there is MUCH more to report. It is my goal, over the next few days, to bring this blog up to speed, so if you are looking for some entertainment, stay tuned! To say that the past 3 months have been wild and crazy would definitely be an understatement ;-)

Broken.

2011-02-01T18:55:00.004-05:00

I am heartbroken. Devastated. Aching from the very depths of my soul. This morning we withdrew our commitment to Gage. In the 11th hour of his need, we are walking away. Leaving him to face an unimaginable fate if another family is not able to step forward NOW to bring him home because we could not follow through with our commitment. I feel wretched. Evil. Cruel. Selfish. I have failed this precious child, whom I love deeply, in his greatest hour of need and am leaving him to a fate worse than death. . . .the institution.

Why?

Because we cannot get there fast enough. In addition to encountering delays with our homestudy update (our state child abuse clearances are currently taking 3-4 months), it has become very apparent to us over the past few weeks that our children (specifically our girls) are not ready for both of us to leave them for a prolonged (and undetermined) length of time. When we made our initial commitment, the girls were adjusting beautifully and seemed to be quickly overcoming many of the hurts that they had experienced living in orphanages for 7 and 8 years. We felt certain that, by the time we were ready to submit our dossier for Gage, they would be well enough adjusted that we could leave them for a few weeks without major consequence. That changed when I traveled to Bulgaria and brought Alexis home. Old behaviors and insecurities began to resurface and, while we are slowly working through those issues and insecurities, we know that the girls need time to heal and fully adjust to our family as it is now before we introduce any more change.

Many people advised us to wait until Alexis was home before making our initial commitment. We understood the wisdom in that counsel, but also felt an urgency from the Spirit to move forward with our commitment. Now, 4 months later and with Gage literally out of time, we feel the same urgency to "step aside." It could be months before we are able move forward to bring him home and he does not have months. He needs a family to rescue him NOW.

This has been the most agonizing decision we have ever made and we have spent countless hours in prayer and deep discussion, trying to find a way to meet the needs of our children at home while still being able to follow through with our commitment to Gage. But in the end, we knew that we needed to love Gage enough to let him go and to give him the chance to find his forever family NOW.

I wish I could give him back the 4 months that he lost while he was on hold for our family. I wish that I had loved him enough 4 months ago, to follow the counsel of those who advised us to wait. At the same time, I cannot deny the power and urgency with which the Spirit spoke to our hearts to move forward. While I do not claim to know or understand the Lord's purposes in this situation, I pray that the purpose of our commitment may simply have been to hold him at the baby house until his forever family was ready to rescue him and I am pleading with our Heavenly Father to send that family NOW so that our precious boy never has to set foot in an institution.

We may not be able to move forward quickly enough to bring Gage home, but we will not leave him without a voice. We will advocate for our amazing boy until he is HOME with his forever family and, in an effort to ensure that finances are not a barrier to bringing him home, we will be launching a fundraiser in the next few days in the hope of raising enough money to provide him with a FULL grant (he currently has $9000 in his grant fund which covers his entire facilitation fee).

We will also continue to move forward with our homestudy update. We have received a firm witness that our family is not yet complete. While we are praying that Gage is home with his family LONG before we are able to move forward again, if he is still available when that time comes, we will continue to work to bring him home.

Please, please help us be a voice for our precious boy! He is literally out of time and he does not deserve to spend another day in an orphanage without the love of a mommy and daddy! Please raise your voices along with us to help us find a family for him NOW!

Alive and well. . . .mostly ;-)

2011-01-21T19:49:00.005-05:00

Once again, I am sorry for leaving everyone hanging. After the jet lag, doctors appointments, visits with the social worker, homeschooling and finding our new normal, I find I have very little coherent thought left to offer when I finally have a chance to sit down at my computer in the evenings. While I am sad to say that my mental state at the end of the day hasn't really improved much, I have decided that I can no longer ignore your pleas for an update and so I simply ask for your forgiveness for the nonsensical post that is about to occur. . . .

I can still remember the very moment that I knew that we would adopt an "older child." Richard and I were on the first leg of our journey home after our first trip to Ukraine in 2007. There were several other adoptive families on our flight and all of them had adopted children between the ages of 5-13. I can still vividly remember the excitement, nervousness, relief and trepidation on their faces as they each began a new, scary, but wonderful, chapter in their lives. One little girl in particular caught my eye. She was 7 years old and joy absolutely radiated from every inch of her little body. As she bounced up and down in her seat while looking out her window, I watched her steal many happy glances at her new mommy and daddy and then place her tiny hand in her mother's and nestled into her side. That is the moment that I knew that, some day, we would adopt an "older child" too.

Fast forward three years. . . Alexis and I are sitting on the first leg of our journey home from Bulgaria. She is so happy to finally be going home that she cannot contain her joy and I cannot help but smile at her energy and enthusiasm, despite the fact that it is 5:30 am. As we take off she sits next to me, bouncing up and down in her seat, looking out her window, watching the sights and sounds of Sofia (and life as she has known it) fade into the distance. Every few seconds she steals excited glances my way and asks me when we will be in America. Then she puts her hand in mine and nestles into my side, so happy to finally begin the next chapter in her life.

Our journey home took 26 hours. All flights were on time and, despite the fact that Alexis didn't sleep a wink until our last flight (and consequently, neither did I), she was an amazing traveler and we had a great time! Unfortunately, when I checked in for our flight I was told that my carryon was over the weight limit and that I would have to unload some things into my checked luggage. As much as it pained me, my camera was one of the first things I had to unload (too many other travel essentials in the bag) and so I wasn't able to capture just how excited my little Bulgarian princess was. I was more than a little annoyed when we boarded that plane and I saw dozens of bags, much larger and heavier than mine, being carried on. If I hadn't been so tired, I might have remembered to pull it out of my bag before rechecking it in Philadelphia after going through immigration, but I am sad to say that I didn't. I'm still kicking myself for that one because the reunion of Alexis and her daddy at the Dayton airport was absolutely priceless. As soon as Richard stepped into sight Alexis yelled "Daddy!" and took off running towards him and he scooped her up into a huge bear hug. Boy was she excited to see her daddy (and I think the feeling was mutual)!

By the time we got home it was almost midnight and all of the kids were sound asleep in their beds. We debated letting them sleep, but decided that it would be better to wake them and introduce them to their newest sister. Alexis was especially insistent that she see Lily. Although Lily was a bit disoriented from being woken up, she recognized Alexis immediately and the girls gave each other a great big hug. By the time we went to tuck Alexis into bed, Lily was wide awake and her excitement was apparent.

By 1am, Richard and I finally turned in. . . .and by 5:30 am, everyone was wide awake and ready to get on with life as a family of 10 :-)

For the most part, the adjustment is going very well. I do find it interesting that, while this adjustment has been MUCH easier for Alexis than it was for Lily and Alayna, it has been a more difficult adjustment period for ME. I am sure that the fact that we have had to find a "new normal" twice in five months doesn't help. Or the fact that we had been out of our normal routine for several weeks (Christmas break) prior to Alexis' arrival. Or it could be largely due to the fact that January is always a crazy month for our family and January 2011 has been no exception (5 birthdays (Joshua, Richard, Maren, Lukas and Jacob), homestudy update, doctors appointments, post placement reports, school, and a major surgery in Philadelphia (Alayna-next Thursday. .I'll save the details for another post). Then again, sometimes it is simply due to the fact that I often fail to remember that 8 kids between the ages of 4-8 (6 with various special needs) is hard work and I need to cut myself some slack ;-)

Alexis is adjusting beautifully. She was obviously well prepared (the orphanage in Stara Zagora is blessed to have an amazing psychologist working with the kids) for the HUGE changes that would be taking place in her life and she has responded amazingly to having her life turned upside down and inside out! Of course, there are many deeply ingrained habits and behaviors that will likely be a "work in progress" for quite some time, but as I have mentioned before, Alexis responds very well to redirection and discipline and she is learning quickly. There is a BIG personality in that tiny body and she often rubs her siblings the wrong way (have I mentioned that she is bossy (regardless of whether or not you can understand her) and that her favorite method of negotiation is the "hit and run"), but again, she is quickly learning that is not the way we operate here and, consequently, relationships are improving :-)

Lily and Alayna have had the hardest time adjusting to their new sibling. Not necessarily because of personality clashes (they actually all get along quite well), but because Alexis' presence and hearing her speaking Bulgarian (and calling Lily by her birth name) reminds them of how life used to be. We have seen a little regression and recurrence of some previously abolished behaviors in both the girls, but we are working through those things and have made it a priority to address any insecurities or fears that this change may have brought to the girls. As we had anticipated, there is some jealousy and competitiveness between Alexis and Lily (and it goes both ways), but fortunately, it is not nearly as intense as I imagined it might be and most of the time, rather than cause frustration, it makes me laugh (which makes Alexis laugh and because, Alexis and I are laughing, Lily joins in as well. . . .have I mentioned that Alexis is also very easily "diffused"? A quality I hope she passes on to several of her other siblings!).

Honestly, other than the normal stresses and difficulties of the "adjustment period," things are going beautifully and we feel SO blessed that Alexis is part of our family! As we begin to settle in as a family of 10, we will also be switching gears once again as we prepare to add children 9 and 10 to the family. So, stay tuned because, as I am sure you have all come to expect, more adventures with the Rieben family await :-)

Our fabulous friend, Keely (who took care of our kids during the day while I was in Bulgaria for my first AND last trips) was kind enough to take most of these pictures for us. All of the amazing hats in the pictures were lovingly handmade by Keely for EVERY member of our family! Once she gets her Etsy store up and running, I'll share all the details with you! Her creations are worth every penny!

She's NUTS!

2011-01-06T17:15:00.004-05:00

Yep, it's official! This girl is certifiably NUTS! Which means that she is going to fit right in with the rest of the family!

Last night, as we were leaving the hotel restaurant after dinner, Alexis asked the waiter "Who made the food?" He told her that the chef had made the food and asked Alexis if she would like to meet her. Alexis said yes, of course, and we went back to the kitchen to meet the chef.

We went back down to the restaurant for dinner tonight and, as we finished our meal, Alexis asked the waiter (a different one tonight) if she could speak with the chef. The waiter agreed and we went back to the kitchen to say hello and Alexis told the chef that she had enjoyed her salad and shared the events of the day with her. She obviously made an impression because, shortly after we had returned to our table, the waiter emerged from the kitchen with complimentary cake for each of us from the chef (and it was YUMMY)!

We made three more visits to the kitchen before we headed back up to our room this evening :-) And Alexis learned about ice, tried some cooked squash (also complimentary. . and she gobbled it up) and insisted that she "call" her daddy on the kitchen phone!

As we were preparing to leave, two German gentlemen (whom she had introduced herself to last night at dinner) came down to have dinner and Alexis hurried over to tell them about her day and that she had gotten to eat cake (they speak German and English, but no Bulgarian so I translate for everyone!). She then proceeded to do "Cheers" with them. . .over and over and over again!

Throughout the evening Alexis would call to the waiter and demand things of him (have I mentioned that she is BOSSY!?) such as, "I want to listen to music," "I need to speak with the chef," "Bring me some fries," etc. He was such a good sport (though I actually suspect that she had him wrapped completely around her finger ) and I made sure to tip him well!

This girl has SO much life and personality. She keeps me constantly entertained! I marvel at how well she is adjusting to the major changes in her life and how smoothly she is already adjusting. Having adopted four children prior to Alexis, I firmly believe, at this point, that this is the "calm before the storm" with her, but I think that her transition into her new life will go very smoothly in comparison to some of our other children.

Having observed her in her orphanage with the other children there on several ocassions (and also many children this week), I have come to the conclusion that she was likely the "top dog" in the group of children she lived with. She is used to being able to tell people what to do, to acquire the toys that she is interested in when she is interested in them, etc. without the objection of others. That is going to change when she gets home and I think this is where she will struggle the most. We have MANY strong personalities in our family and I can already tell you that they will NOT tolerate being bossed around, having toys taken from them, etc.

I am especially grateful that we have had the opportunity to spend time with other children this week and I have had a chance to observe her interactions with them because it has definitely given me a chance to prepare for the challenges that lie ahead.

Lily has had many of these same struggles (as I mentioned before, many children from orphanages have no concept of personal property since everything at the orphanage is usually community property and the children have no personal possessions), but she has made HUGE strides in this area and I know that Alexis will too.

Although Alexis can be bossy and has a difficult time with sharing and understanding personal property, she is a very compassionate little girl. She may struggle with sharing toys, but she ALWAYS shares her food. In fact, she will usually offer what she has to others first, before she eats anything herself. She is also very concerned when others are upset and is quick to respond with hugs/kisses and words of affirmation.

She still pushes her boundaries often, but she is quickly learning that mommy is in charge and that it is important to listen to what mommy says. Although I don't worry as much about attachment issues with her, I came to the conclusion today (after observing her with Toni's brother, Marty) that we will still need to limit interactions with other adults until she is firmly attached to mommy and daddy. While we were at the Embassy for her visa interview today, Marty was playing with her (he is SO great with the kids) and after awhile she started hugging and kissing him, asking him to hold her and to sit on his lap and, eventually, even calling him daddy. Marty, of course, corrected her and told her it was time to go and sit with mommy, but it definitely reinforced to me the importance of Richard and I being the primary caregivers and the primary adult interaction that she has until she is firmly attached and understands that WE are her mommy and daddy (a concept which is still foreign). We will get there, but we will have to be vigilant in order to help her to learn to form healthy attachments.

I feel SO blessed to have Alexis in our family. She is a shining star and she keeps me smiling (and on my toes!). She is such a "perfect fit" and it just reminds me that, each and every one of the children in our family has been hand-picked by our Heavenly Father to be part of this family!

Good friends, great fun!

2011-01-05T15:27:00.006-05:00

Alexis and I were up bright and early this morning (though not as early as yesterday thank goodness) so we could prepare for a fun-filled day with friends. Our friend, Fiona (whose husband works for the Embassy), invited us to spend the day with her family, which included a play date at her friend Cindy's home.

We took a taxi to Cindy's home and spent the morning making crafts, playing with friends, and enjoying a wonderful lunch that Cindy had prepared. I had a great time getting to know Cindy and Fiona and Alexis (though a little shy at first) enjoyed playing with all of the kids.

Alexis LOVES to take pictures. Here she is with Fiona's camera. I am sure there are some interesting pictures to be found there!

With rooms full of toys, the kids decided to move into the bathroom where the shower was quickly transformed into a space ship. Here is Bran, Alexis, Nuala and William ready to blast off!

Alexis in the "space ship"

After lunch Alexis and I went with Fiona back to their home in Dragalevtsi (which is literally at the foot of Mt. Vitosha) where we enjoyed more great food and fun with friends. I have been stalking Fiona's blog since shortly after returning home with the girls this summer, and living vicariously through her and her family as they travel the world, and it was such a privilege to spend the day getting to know Fiona and her amazing kids (who I absolutely ADORE), Bran and Nuala (4 year-old twins) and Maeve (11 months). I am SO glad we had this opportunity to spend time with them! We had such a great time that I was sad to leave at the end of the day!

Bran, Alexis and Nuala on the boat swing! So much fun!

LOVE this picture of Alexis and Bran! Fiona, how do you feel about arranged marriages!? I absolutely adore this boy. . . even if he does think I'm a "bad guy" ;-)

Alexis and Nuala playing with Play-doh. Nuala is such a sweetheart and was so nice to Alexis all day, even when that kindness was not reciprocated.

The past few days have been filled with new people, places and things for Alexis but she has done surprisingly well adjusting to all of the changes in her life. Like Alayna, she is somewhat of an "orphanage prodigy" in the sense that she does not display many of the orphanage behaviors commonly seen in adopted children. The only self-soothing behavior I have seen is thumb sucking at night (she does not rock herself AT ALL), she is appropriately shy around new people and in new places, preferring to be right by my side until she feels comfortable in her environment (and even then, not straying far from me). Though she does want to eat CONSTANTLY, she generally eats small amounts and is content to save the rest for later. The most prominent "orphanage behavior" I have observed is her lack of the concept of personal property. If she wants something, she takes it, because, at the orphanage, all toys, clothes, etc. were community property. The children did not have any personal belongings and so the idea that a toy actually belongs to someone is completely foreign to her. We have had this same issue with Lily, but she is learning quickly, and I am sure that Alexis will too. Let's put it this way, with 8 kids, it is hard not to learn about personal property and the importance of sharing!

While Alexis does not display many of the common orphanage behaviors, she IS starting to push her boundaries with me and has had to learn the hard way on several occasions today, that it is important to listen to mama (the language barrier is not an issue most of the time because I speak enough Bulgarian to understand her and for her to understand me). She responds to discipline well however and I think that it has actually worked to strengthen our bonds of attachment (and, although it is still early, at this point I am not concerned about attachment issues with Alexis. . .she is VERY much attached to mama at this point and, although daddy is not here right now, she misses him fiercely and talks about and looks at his pictures constantly).

While we were waiting for our food at the hotel restaurant this evening, Alexis decided to get up and dance to the music that was playing to pass this time. I'll be sure to post the video tomorrow!

Alexis is truly a gift. She is such a vibrant, fun and happy girl. I have had such a great time with her this week and am grateful for the opportunity that I have had to spend this one-on-one time with her.

My tiny Bulgarian firecracker

Tomorrow morning is Alexis' medical appointment and her visa interview at the Embassy. As long as everything goes according to plan, we should have her passport and visa by Friday and will be on the first flight out of Sofia on Saturday morning. While we have greatly enjoyed our time here, both of us are excited to get home to our family!

An evening with friends

2011-01-04T16:12:00.006-05:00

Alexis and I spent the morning relaxing at the hotel (translation- Alexis spent the morning taking bath after bath after bath!). By noon, the hotel room was starting to feel a bit small, so we bundled up again and set out for a walk around wet, cold, snowy Sofia (translation- WE only walked for about 5 minutes before her little legs got tired and I carried her around Sofia). We walked around the open market and then stopped at McDonald's for lunch. She loved taking in the sights and sounds of the city and looking into all of the shop windows!

We stopped by the grocery store on the way back to the hotel and picked up some pretzels and yogurt and replenished our supply of fresh fruit. Shortly after returning to the hotel, the housekeeper knocked on the door and asked if she could clean our room. It desperately needed cleaning and so I thanked her and told her that we could go downstairs while she worked. Alexis had other ideas! She wanted to help and so she helped the housekeeper replenish our supply of towels, vacuum the floor and make the beds. Her favorite part was getting to spray the air freshener when she was done!

Housekeeping!

Although she was exhausted, she insisted that she wasn't tired and that she didn't want to sleep. Instead we called home and then she rested quietly on the bed and looked through her photo album, which is never far from her!

Alexis showing me her prized photo album (with pictures of our home and family. . she can't wait to add pictures of herself!)

This evening we enjoyed a special treat! While I was in Philadelphia at the beginning of December, I ran in to a friend from our AMC (arthrogryposis) family. Her husband is Bulgarian and I learned that they would be in Sofia, visiting family for the holidays, during our stay! She graciously invited us to get together with their family while we were in Sofia and tonight we had the opportunity to spend an evening in their home, enjoying a delicious traditional, Bulgarian meal, great friends and wonderful conversation.

Alexis especially enjoyed the opportunity to play with their two girls (and all of their fun toys) and left with a new best friend in Baba Trachliev, who, as all good grandmothers do, spoiled her rotten and gave her a "goody bag" to take home with her!

We had a wonderful time and are so grateful to the Trachlievs for inviting us to spend the evening with them!

Needless to say, bedtime was a breeze tonight and Alexis was out cold within minutes of her head hitting the pillow. Hopefully our sleep will be uninterrupted tonight as we have another fun day with friends planned tomorrow!

*My apologies for the lack of pictures! I walked out of our hotel room without my camera this evening and didn't get any pictures of our time with the Trachlievs :-( Still kicking myself for that one!