Adopting from Russia

In 2007, the US Embassy in Moscow, Russia issued 2, 310 immigrant visa's to Russian orphans adopted by American citizens, making Russia the third largest sending country in international adoption (with China in first place and Guatemala (now closed) in second). Since 2002, approximately 28,000 Russian orphans have been adopted by US citizens. As reported by US Immigration, 49% of Russian children adopted in 2006 were female, 7% were under the age of 1, 65% were between the ages of 1-4, and 27% were 5 years and older.

It is estimated that there are more than 600,000 children living "without parental care" in Russia (not all of these children are available for adoption however). Since the 1991 breakup of the Soviet Union, many families in former Soviet nations are struggling to survive, making poverty one of the most common factors in the relinquishment of children. Approximately one third of the children living without parental care in Russia reside in institutions. The rest of the children typically live with guardians or are under police jurisdiction. There are generally two categories of children available: babies relinquished at the hospital at birth to orphanages and older children who have been removed from their homes due to severe poverty, neglect and/or abuse.

The central adoption authority in Russia is the Ministry of Education and Science. Although Russia is not part of the Hague Convention on Adoption, US citizens who wish to adopt a Russian child must work with an agency accredited by the Ministry of Education and Science in Russia or with an agency who works through another agency accredited by the Ministry of Education (you may also have the option of working with a private adoption attorney in Russia). A complete list of accredited agencies can be found here (click on "adoption" and scroll down the page).

Russia's requirements for adoption are not as strict as many countries. Currently, the Russian government has no age restriction for adoptive parents with the exception that single adoptive parent's must be at least 16 years older than their adopted child. There are also no formal restrictions regarding the length of marriage of adoptive parents or number of children already residing in the home, however these requirements may differ from region to region (for example, some regional officials prefer no more than 3 children already in the home, etc.). Singles are also permitted to adopt.

Most agencies work within select regions in Russia. Once your dossier is completed, it is translated and submitted to and processed by the Ministry of Education officials within the region you intend to adopt. Once your dossier has been processed you will be issued a referral by the Ministry (usually consisting of a picture(s) and brief history/medical synopsis of the child/children). In some cases a formal referral will not be issued prior to travel. In these cases, once your dossier has been processed, Ministry officials will then extend an invitation to travel where they will present your with your referral face-to-face.

As of April 2000, adoptive parents are required to appear personally before the Ministry to accept their referral. This means that families adopting from Russia are required to make two trips. The first trip is to officially accept your referral and meet your child/children (both parents are required to make this trip). The second trip is to attend court and complete the adoption (in some regions only one parent is required to make this trip, in others, both parents are required). The first trip is approximately 5-7 days. The second trip generally last between 2-3 weeks depending on whether or not the 10-day wait following court is waived (in some regions and under some circumstances (such as in the adoption of a medically fragile child) officials will waive the 10-day wait, however, this is being seen less and less and in some regions, not at all). Following court and the 10-day wait, families will then receive their child's new birth certificate and passport and will register their child with the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Moscow. They will then process through the US Embassy and receive their child's visa to travel back to the US.

Children available for adoption in Russia are between 8 months and 16 years of age (in order to be eligible for international adoption children must be placed on a regional, and then national, registry for a total of 8 months during which time they are available only to Russian citizens). Sibling groups and children with special needs are available for adoption as well.

Russia is one of the more expensive countries to adopt from with an average cost of $35,000. The time line for adoption from Russia, from completed dossier to referral is, on average, 6-12 months although this will vary from region to region.

For more information regarding adoption from Russia, please take a moment to visit the following links:

• Adoption from Russia
• Adoption.com- Adopting from Russia
• Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption- FRUA
• US Department of State- Russian Federation
• Russian Embassy (click on "Adoption")
• Adoption from Russia

Russian Adoption Blogs:

• Worth the Wait (home)
• Room to Grow (home)
• From Russia, for love (home)
• One Mother's Day (home)
  
• 4 From Russia (2 home, 2 on the way)
• Sunflower Seeds (Russia and Ukraine; home)
• The Sunflower Chronicles (Russia and Ukraine; in process; special needs)
  
• Amy and Sons (in process; currently private, but check back soon. . you do not want to miss her Russian sweeties; special needs)
  
• Dreaming on An Angel (in process; special needs)
  

Adopting from China

Because the international adoption process varies so much from country to country, I am going to dedicate several days to providing more information about many of the countries with international adoption programs. Please keep in mind that I am not as familiar with the processes in many of these countries, having only adopted from Uzbekistan and Ukraine, so I will just be skimming the surface here, but I will do my best to provide you with a general overview of each country and offer links to adoption blogs and other information to those who are interested in learning more.

China

Adoption of children from China to the United States began in 1992 when the Chinese government passed a law ratifying international adoption. In 2007, as reported by Immigration Services, American's adopted 5, 453 children from China, the largest number of adoptions from any country outside of the US. The average age of children adopted from China is 11 months with over 90% of those children being girls (due to China's population control policies). The majority of boys adopted from China are children with special needs.

The central adoption authority in China is the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) in Beijing. Because China is part of the Hague Convention, there is no independent adoption from China. Prospective adoptive parents must work through a US Hague Accredited agency that is also CCAA approved.

The CCAA has placed strict requirements on prospective adoptive families. As of May 1, 2007, the following criteria must be met in order to adopt from China:

• Only heterosexual married couples (who have been married for at least two years) may adopt from China. In the case that the prospective parents have been married and divorced previously (no more than two previous marriages), the couple must be married for at least five years prior to application.
  

• Both husband and wife must be between the ages of 30 and 50. When adopting a child with special needs, husband and wife must be between the ages of 30 and 55.
  

• Both husband and wife must be completely healthy both physically and mentally. Individuals with any of the following health conditions will NOT be eligible to adopt:
  

1. AIDS;
2. mental handicap;
3. infectious disease within infective stage;
4. binocular blind or binocular parallax or monocular blink and with no ocular prosthesis;
5. binaural hearing loss or language function loss; adoption of special needs children who have identical conditions will be exempt from this limitation;
6. afunction or dysfunction of limbs or trunk cause by impairment, incompleteness, numbness or deformation; severe facial deformation;
7. sever diseases which requires long term treatment and which affect life expectancy, like malignant tumor, lupus erythematosus, nephrosis, epilepsy, and etc.;
8. post-surgery of major organs transplantation, not yet 10 years;
9. schizophrenia;
10. medication for severe mental disorders, like depression, mania, or anxiety neurosis, and etc, stopped not more than 2 years;
11. BMI over 40

• The husband or wife must hold a stable occupation. The annual family income must be $10,000 for each family member including the child you intend to adopt with a net value of $80,000.
  

• Both the husband and the wife must graduated from high school, completed a degree of higher education or vocational skills training.
  

• There cannot be more than five children under the age of 18 residing in the home and the youngest child must be over the age of 1. Those adopting a child with special needs are exempt from this requirement.
  

• Both husband and wife must have a clean criminal record with no history of domestic violence, child abuse, substance or alcohol abuse.
  

• Adoptive parents must be able to provide a safe and loving home for the adopted child and must agree to provide post-placement reports for a designated amount of time following the adoption of the child.
  

Adopting a child from China, on average, costs between $20,000-$25,000. Most of the children available for adoption reside in one of China's child welfare institutes, however, there are some children who live in foster care. The timeline from dossier log-in date (LID) to referral from China is approximately 30-36 months (though some agencies are reporting even longer waiting times due to the back log of dossiers). Once you have received and accepted a referral, travel occurs approximately three months later. At least one parent must travel to China to complete the adoption (although keep in mind that, the absence of one parent will effect the child's visa status. . .I will discuss this in a separate post), with the average stay in China being 10-14 days.

For more information regarding adoption from China, please take a moment to visit the following links:

• Adopting from China
• US Department of State- China
• About.com- Adoption from China
• Great Wall of China- Adoption Agency specializing in adoptions from China
• Families with Children from China
  

China Adoption Blogs (many of these families have links to other China adoption blogs):

Waiting-
Checking Boxes
Our Journey to Kaelie
Loving Lauren
Jem China
Catherine's Chatter
Waiting for Lexi
Liptacks and Ladybugs

Home-
Circle of Love
Salsa in China
Imagine Alyzabeth An
Our Long Journey to Kaelin
Journey to Mary Alice
Baby Izabella
Sunflowers and Ladybugs
Journey to Malia

If you are interested in learning more about adopting a child from China, I highly recommend visiting the links provided as well as joining a support or informational group of families who are currently in the process or have already returned home with their child/children. I have found through my own experience that gathering information from those who have "been-there-done-that" is often the most valuable and "raw" information you will find regarding the process from each country. A great place to start looking for support groups is Yahoo Groups.

Stay tuned for Russia, Ukraine and other Eastern European countries (this will include Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, Serbia, Bulgaria, and Estonia). If there is a specific country you would like to learn more about, please let me know!

I have not forgotten. . .

Just a quick note to let those of you waiting on my next installment know that I have not forgotten my promise to update the blog with new adoption information each day throughout the month of November! Evan and I had to make an unexpected trip to Philadelphia this weekend (all is well, Evan's new KAFO's just rubbed a sore into the outside of his right foot, so we had to go get the brace fixed and figure out what we could do to maintain correction while the sore heals) and that it why it has been silent here! I am working hard trying to put together a few new posts in an attempt to play catch-up. They should be up tomorrow!

International Adoption

I can still remember the first time I started thinking seriously about adopting internationally. We had been in the process of adopting an infant domestically (and by "in the process" I simply mean that we were working very slowly towards obtaining our homestudy) for about 10+ months and we were moving at a snail's pace. I could not figure out why neither of us had the motivation to get through the beginning stages. We knew that there were more children who were meant to be a part of our family and we knew that the wait for a child would likely be long even after the homestudy was complete. So why were we dragging our feet? Something just didn't feel right.

One Sunday, as I was walking the halls at church trying to calm one of my babies, I saw a stack of brochures for an adoption fair lying on a table and I stopped to pick one up. Inside the brochure there were names of agencies (both domestic and international) that would be represented and topics that would be discussed. I tucked the brochure into my diaper bag hoping to find a spare moment to browse some of the agencies' websites and gather information. Up to this point, we had been focused solely on the domestic adoption of an infant through our church. It was our most affordable option and we could adopt an infant (at the time we were hoping to adopt a child 12 months old or younger), but I just couldn't shake the feeling that we were moving in the wrong direction.

I started researching the agencies listed in the brochure who had international adoption programs. I looked at countries, costs, wait times and the ages of available children. I also spoke extensively with my friend Elaine, who had adopted a little boy from Korea and was in the process of adopting another little boy from Vietnam, trying to gather as much information as possible. The more I learned, the stronger I felt that this was the direction we were to move in. Richard and I spent hours discussing and praying about the topic and eventually, we both knew, with surety, that international adoption was the path we were intended to take. The rest, as you know, is history (ah, if it had only been that simple)!

The process of adopting internationally cannot be tied up quite as neatly as domestic adoption because the process will differ greatly from country to country so I will just be covering the basics in this post and will talk more about the specifics throughout the month. As always, if you have any questions regarding the process, would like to learn more about a specific country, etc. please be sure to leave a comment and I will do my best to address it.

Adopting Internationally

In 2007, more than 20,000 immigrant visas were issued to orphans adopted by US citizens. In the past 12 years, international adoptions have more than doubled. While the process to adopt internationally will differ from country to country, there are many requirements that are the same for ALL prospective adoptive parents, no matter where your child comes from.

Choosing a Country

The first step when adopting a child internationally is to determine what you are looking for. By this I simply mean that you will need to sit down and determine (or at least have a general idea) of the child/children you are looking for. Are you open to race and gender? What age range is acceptable? Are you open to adopting a child with special needs? If so, which special needs would you consider? Are you able to travel to complete an adoption? If so, how long will you be able to travel? How much are you able to spend? There are many countries that allow international adoption. Determining your specifications and limitations will enable you to narrow down the number of countries on your list

Once you have determined your specifications the next step in the process is to choose a country. As previously mentioned, there are many countries that allow international adoption. Each country will have their own requirements and restrictions that adoptive families must meet in order to adopt. Many countries impose upper and lower age limits (China; India; Ukraine; Haiti), others may only allow a certain number of children already in the home (Serbia; Korea; some regions of Russia). Some countries have income requirements (China; India) and others have religious requirements (Armenia). These restrictions and requirements, along with your specifications for a child, will likely narrow down even further the number of countries on your list. Most countries require one or both parents to travel for an extended period of time to complete the adoption. Many countries require multiple trips. Some countries are more expensive than others. Many countries only have older and special needs children available for international adoption, while infants are available in other countries. The "wait times" in each country will likely vary depending on your specifications (for example, to adopt a healthy girl under the age of 2 from Bulgaria, the wait is generally 18-36 months, while adopting a boy or girl with special needs or an older child or sibling group could take as little as 6-9 months).

The following are the top 20 countries issuing orphans US immigrant visa's in 2007:

China (5,453)
Guatemala (4,728) (now closed)
Russia (2,310)
Ethiopia (1,255)
South Korea (939)
Vietnam (828)
Ukraine (606)
Kazakhstan (540)
India (416)
Liberia (314)
Columbia (310)
Philippines ( 265)
Haiti (190)
Taiwan (184)
Mexico (89)
Poland (84)
Thailand (67)
Kyrgyzstan (61)
Brazil (55)
Uganda (54)

Choosing an Agency

Once you have selected a country that works for your family, it is time to choose an agency. Selecting an experienced, ethical and trustworthy agency and/or facilitation team can be one of the biggest factors in ensuring a smooth adoption process. Because the selection of an agency and/or a facilitation team is such a vital step in this process, I will be discussing this more in depth in a later post. While some countries, such as Serbia and Ukraine, do not require the use of a licensed adoption agency, others do. In fact, in April 2008, the United States formally entered into the Hague Convention, an important treaty that governs adoptions between the US and nearly 75 other countries. The Hague Adoption Convention protects children and their families against unregulated adoptions abroad and ensures that intercountry adoptions are in the best interest of the children The convention also serves to prevent the abduction, sale and trafficking of children. When adopting from a "Hague country" the use of a Hague accredited agency is REQUIRED. Again, I will be discussing the selection of an agency in greater depth in a later post, so please check back!

The Paper Chase

The next step in the international adoption process is often referred to as the "paper chase" of which the first step is to complete a homestudy. As mentioned in my previous post on domestic adoption, a homestudy is literally an in depth study of your home and family. The homestudy process requires multiple interviews of each occupant of the home, fire and safety inspections, background checks, fingerprinting, a report of your finances and medical reports, letters of recommendation, as well as a specified number of "training" or "education" hours.

While you are in the process of obtaining your homestudy, you will also be compiling your dossier, a set of documents required by the country you are adopting from. The required documents will differ from country to country but generally include your homestudy, marriage certificate, background checks, financial report, letters of employment, medical reports, petition to adopt, a copy of your I-171H approval to adopt, etc.

While you are in the process of completing your paperwork you must also file form I-600A (for non-Hague countries) or form I-800A (for Hague countries) with your local USCIS office (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). These forms, along with their associated fees, are submitted with a copy of your homestudy. You will also submit a biometrics (fingerprinting) fee at the time of filing so that USCIS may issue an appointment for you to be fingerprinted (fair warning, you will be fingerprinted more during the adoption process than most hardened criminals are during their lifetime!!). Upon approval of your I-600A or I-800A you will be issued form I-171H which states that you are approved to adopt from the country your have requested and will also list the number of children you are approved to adopt.

An important note about your homestudy and your USCIS approval: Your homestudy and your approval MUST MATCH the child/children you intend to adopt. For example, if your homestudy states that you are approved to adopt a healthy child between the ages of 1-7 and you adopt an 8 year-old with special needs, the US Embassy may deny your adopted child a visa until your homestudy is updated to approve you for such a child. When your homestudy is written be sure to allow yourself some padding (if you are hoping to adopt a child between the ages of 1-4, you may want your homestudy to state that you are approved for a child between 0-5 "just in case." If you are open to special needs, be sure to state the specific special needs that you are open to such as mild CP, down syndrome, heart conditions, cleft lip/palate, limb differences etc.). It is always better to play it safe than to be stuck in a foreign country or unable to bring your child home while you wait for your homestudy to be updated! Also, if you think there may be a possibility that you will adopt more than one child, please be sure to specify that number in your homestudy so that USCIS can approve you for that number of children. If your I-171H says you are approved for 2 children and you decide to adopt a third at the same time, you will have to wait until your homestudy and your USCIS approval are updated before your children can receive a visa!

Once all of the paperwork is complete you will need to have everything notarized, county certified (this only applies to a handful of states), state certified or apostilled and in some cases it will need to be legalized by the Department of State in Washington DC as well as the Embassy of the country you are adopting from (this was the case for us when we adopted from Uzebekistan). Once the notarizing, certifying, apostilling and legalizing is complete, your dossier will be ready to send to the country officials in the country you have chosen. Once in the country you have chosen, the documents will usually be translated and submitted to the adoption authority in that country.

At this point, the adoption process begins to differ greatly depending on which country you are adopting from and so I will end this post here!!! Over the course of the next few days, I will discuss the different requirements, costs and processes of the many different countries open to international adoption. If you have any questions about the general process or would like to know more about a specific country, please leave a comment so that I can cover it.

Domestic Adoption

Some of you may recall how we ended up "in the trenches of adoption." For those of you who are not familiar with "our story," our adoption journey began when our triplets, Maren, Lukas and Jacob, were born in January 2005. After a complicated pregnancy, I delivered our triplets via emergency c-section. Once the babies had been delivered, I began losing blood rapidly and the doctors, unable to control the bleeding, made the decision to perform an emergency hysterectomy to save my life. During my pregnancy, Richard and I were asked time and again if we planned to be "done" after the triplets. It did not take us long to decide that, no, we would not. We knew that there were more children who were intended for our family and we made the decision during my grueling pregnancy, that, at some point, the Rieben family would expand again. Obviously those dreams of bringing more children into the world ourselves were shattered with the news that this would no longer be possible. This news did not deter us however. We still knew that our family was not complete and so our hearts turned towards adoption. (For the more detailed account, please click here and here.)

We did not begin pursing adoption until shortly after the triplets' first birthday (up until that point we were very busy changing poopy diapers, preparing and serving bottles and trying desperately to catch up on our sleep) and, when we did, our pursuit was for the domestic adoption of a healthy infant through our church (the church "subsidizes" the cost of adoption for its members, charging only 10% of a couple's annual income, making the domestic adoption of an infant (which, on average costs approximately $20,000,) a very affordable option). Obviously the original path that we had chosen took a turn as the two newest members of our family were adopted internationally, were not infants (well, not newborns. . .Joshua was still considered an infant at 10 months old) and both have special needs, BUT we learned a lot along the way and I am happy to pass along information on all of the options domestic adoption has to offer!

First and foremost, there are many different "options" when it comes to adopting domestically. The most commonly pursued domestic adoptions are the domestic adoption of an infant (agency vs. private) and adopting a "waiting child" in the foster care system. I will spend most of my time today discussing these two options.

Domestic Adoption of an Infant

Each year there are approximately 30,000 domestic infant adoptions. There are essentially two different options when adopting an infant domestically. You have the option of enlisting the help of an agency or adopting privately with the help of an adoption attorney (unless you happen to live in Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware or Massachusetts where private adoption is illegal). Of the 30,000 domestic infant adoptions that are finalized each year, approximately half of them are agency assisted and half of them are private. The following is a short description of each of these options and their general process:

Agency-assisted Domestic Infant Adoption

Private agencies have the ability to set criteria for who they will serve. Some agencies are more restrictive than others (an example of an agencies criteria might be "must be married a minimum of 2 years, cannot have more than 3 children currently in the home, single applicants not accepted). Once you have chosen an agency, you must first complete a homestudy (required for ALL prospective adoptive families regardless of whether you are adopting domestically (an infant or from foster care) or internationally). A homestudy is very literally a study of your home and family. If you are a very private person, this part of the process might be difficult for you as a social worker is required to look into every nook and cranny of your life! As part of the homestudy, most states require that prospective adoptive parents complete 30+ hours of adoption training. Families will also be asked to fill out a form specifying what you are looking for in a child (race, sex, healthy vs. special needs, which special needs you would be willing to accept, etc). Once the homestudy is complete, most agencies have their families put together a biography complete with pictures and a "Dear Birthmother" letter (this letter addresses the birth mother and essentially gives her information about your family, parenting style/philosophy, your thoughts on children and family, your hopes and dreams for her child, etc.). When a birth mother contacts the agency hoping to make an adoption plan, the agency generally presents her with several different family profiles to review and she then selects the family she feels will be the best fit for her baby. In most cases, once the baby is born and the mother has relinquished her rights, the adoptive family may take the baby home from the hospital. In other cases, the baby may come to them after spending a short time in foster care (this will differ from state to state, depending on what your adoption laws are). Obviously this is the very condensed and simplified version of the process, but it gives you an idea of what the process of adopting an infant through a private agency is like.

Private Domestic Infant Adoption

When a family decides to pursue the private adoption of an infant domestically, it is up to that family to locate a birth mother and develop an adoption plan (usually through the help of an attorney). How does one go about finding a birth mother? Many couples mail their adoption "resumes" to obstetrician's offices or adoption attorneys, advertise in newspaper classified sections, set up an adoption webpage or contact family and friends about their intentions to adopt a newborn in hopes of making a connection. Once the prospective adoptive couple and the birth mother connect, they generally sit down with an adoption attorney and set up an adoption plan. Many adoptive couples will provide food, housing and medical care for the birth mother during her pregnancy. In most cases the baby goes directly home from the hospital with the adoptive family. Again, an oversimplified description of the process, but it gives you a general idea of how adopting an infant privately works.

A few things to keep in mind when adopting an infant domestically:

• Adopting an infant domestically through an agency, on average, costs between $15,000-$25,000. This includes agency fees, homestudy, counseling for the birth mother and prospective adoptive parents, medical expenses (for the birth mother and the baby), travel (if adopting an infant from a state other than your own) and foster care if needed. Adopting an infant privately typically costs between $7,000-$9,000 in legal fees for the adoptive and the birth parents, with additional fees including advertising, the homestudy, medical expenses for birth mother and baby, living expenses for the birth mother and travel (if adopting an infant from a state other than your own). Generally, private adoption of an infant ranges between $20,000-$30,000 with expenses typically being less predictable than adopting an infant through an agency.
  

• Between the agencies criteria, the birth mother's preferences and your own specifications for a child, the length of time it takes to be matched with a child and complete the process can be lengthy. The domestic adoption of an infant on average takes between 1-18 months once the homestudy is complete.
  

• The birth parents can change their minds at any point prior to their baby's birth or until the adoption is final. While statistically most birth parent's change their minds prior to the child's birth, many will decide to parent during their time in the hospital immediately following the birth. In some cases, a birth parent or relative will change their mind and decide to parent the child after the child has been placed in the adoptive home, but before the adoption is finalized (although the length of time a birth parent has to change their mind differs from state to state, birth parents generally have between 10 days and 6 months to step forward and decide to parent, so there is always a degree of risk involved).
  

• If you are adopting an infant in another state, you must clear ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children). ICPC is an agreement between all 50 states and the District of Columbia that controls the lawful movement of children from one state to another for the purpose of adoption. Both the originating state (where the child was born) and the receiving state (where the child will live) must legally approve the child' movement before the child can leave the state. This is the case for ALL interstate adoptions in the US (infant and foster/adopt).
  

Adopting a Waiting Child from Foster Care

Foster care adoption involves adopting a child/children who are currently living in the foster care system. While most children who are adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents or relatives, there are still thousands of children waiting for their forever families in the foster care system. Here are some current statistics about foster care:

• There are approximately 513, 000 children living in foster care in the United States. An estimated 114, 000 are currently available for adoption (meaning, parental rights have already been terminated).
  

• In 2005, approximately 51,000 children were adopted from foster care.
  

• 68% of people who adopt from foster care are married couples, 27% are single females, 3% are single males and 2% are unmarried couples.
  

• The median age of a child in foster care is 10.6

• Race/ethnicity of a child in foster care: 41% Caucasian, 32% African-American, 18% Hispanic, 1% Asian, 8% Other.
  

• The average child in foster care goes through three different placements and stays in the system for nearly 29 months.
  

• Each year, about 20,000 children age out of foster care.
  

Most children placed in foster-to-adopt homes are children who are deemed "legal risk" or likely to be available for adoption within a reasonable time frame. In these cases, you foster a child until parental rights are terminated and then you adopt (as long as there are not relative interested in adopting). There are also many children who are already available for adoption living in the foster care system (these children are generally older, sibling groups or have special needs).

The Process of Adopting from the Foster Care System

The first step in adopting from foster care is to locate an agency. In most states, the Department of Public Welfare or Department of Social Services (also known in many states as the Department of Job and Family Services), handles all foster care and adoption cases (you can usually find contact information on your state government's website). In some states, public agencies contract with private agencies to handle foster and adoption cases.

Once you have contacted the agency you must submit an application (this is where you will state your specifications regarding the child/children you are interested in having placed in your home) and complete your homestudy. As with infant adoption, adopting a child from foster care requires you to attend and complete "parenting classes." I often hear people say that, "anyone can have a baby, but to adopt you have to be "taught" how to be a good parent." Although some may roll their eyes (typically those who already have children in their home and feel they are experts in the art of parenting), I assure you that, parenting an adopted child, especially a child who has experienced physical or emotional abuse or trauma, is much, much different than parenting a biological child raised from birth (this will be addressed in another post because it is THAT important). These classes are important and will give you A LOT of insight into parenting a child who has been living in foster care. These classes typically take anywhere from 4 to 12 weeks to complete.

After you have completed your homestudy and required training, you wait for a child to be placed in your home (unless you are adopting a child who is already available for adoption, at this point you would be able to submit your homestudy to the child's case worker for consideration). Wait times vary greatly depending on your specifications for a child. Once a child is placed in your home you wait for them to become available for adoption. Once the child is legally available for adoption, the finalization process typically takes 6+ months. If you are adopting a child from foster care who is already legally available for adoption at the time of placement in your home, most states require that the child reside with you for 6 months until the finalization process can begin (this gives the child and the family the opportunity to make sure that the placement is a good fit).

A few things to keep in mind when adopting from foster care:

• The fees to adopt from foster care are minimal to non-existent (most fees can be reimbursed following finalization), wait times can often be shorter than in private or international adoption (although this is not always the case), and there are many young children, toddlers and even infants, available for adoption (although wait times for younger children are generally longer). In many cases subsidies are available for the child's living expenses and medical care even after the adoption is completed (these subsidies generally must be applied for and approved PRIOR to finalization, however).
  

• When accepting a "legal risk" placement there is always a chance that parental rights may not be terminated and the child may never become available for adoption. There are also many instances where family members step forward to parent the child when parental rights are terminated. When accepting a "legal risk" placement there is a great deal of emotional risk involved. Some families go through several placements before they are able to complete an adoption.
  

• ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) is also a factor when adopting a child from foster care who is already legally free for adoption.
  

The following are some wonderful websites with more information on domestic adoption, both infant and foster care:

• AdoptUSKids (Includes a photolisting of kids waiting in foster care. I can literally spend hours at a time browsing the pictures and descriptions of all of these amazing kids. It is my guilty pleasure!)
• Adoption.com
• The Adoption Guide
• Child Welfare Information Gateway
  

International vs. Domestic Adoption

In May of this year, our family was featured in an article in our local newspaper. The article focused much of its attention on the international adoption of our two boys, Joshua and Evan. In response to the article, many people wrote in to express their views on international vs. domestic adoption. Several people stated that they did not agree with international adoption when there are so many children in the US in need of forever families. This was not the first time that I had heard such opinions expressed. When we were in the process of bringing our boys home people would often question us as to why we were adopting a child internationally when we could adopt a child right here in the United States. Weren't the children from our own country good enough for us, worthy enough to be part of our family?

Truthfully, one is not superior to another. A child is a child and all children living without the love, support, encouragement and nurturing of a permanent family are equally deserving of that love and permanency no matter where they come from. The decision to adopt domestically or internationally is very personal and the needs and circumstances of each family (and the intended child/children) must be considered individually.

Throughout the month of November, I will be sharing information about both international and domestic adoption. To begin, here are some commonly asked questions about the differences between international and domestic adoption.

Is International adoption more expensive than domestic adoption?

The answer to this question depends on many different factors. The cost to adopt internationally varies from country to country with the average cost being about $25,000. Adopting an infant domestically can be just as expensive, averaging about $20,000, whereas, adopting a child through foster care may not cost you a penny (or may only cost you the legal fees necessary to complete the adoption). Generally speaking, adopting internationally does tend to be more expensive than adopting domestically. Because there are so many variables that figure into the cost of adopting, I will break things down a bit more as I cover each topic individually.

Is domestic adoption "riskier" than international adoption?

Every adoption is a leap of faith and involves risk. Until an adoption has been finalized and you are legally declared that child's parents, there is always "risk". The risk tends to be highest with domestic infant adoption. When adopting an infant domestically, prospective adoptive parents are generally "matched" with a birth mother and an adoption plan is made. Unfortunately, this does not mean that the adoptive couple is guaranteed that baby. The birth mother can change her mind at any point during her pregnancy or immediately following the birth. In many states, the birth mother has up to 30 days to change her mind after the baby is born. In other states, where adoption may not be finalized for 6+ months, the birth mother can decide to parent her baby or relatives may be allowed to step forward. This can often be the case when adopting a child in the foster care system.

When adopting internationally, prospective adoptive families generally receive a referral prior to traveling to their child's country (some countries, such as Ukraine and Kazakhstan, operate on a blind referral system, which means that you do not receive a referral for a child until you are in the country). Unfortunately, accepting this referral does not guarantee you that child. Many times a child's paperwork is incorrect or incomplete, leaving them "unadoptable" according to US standards (remember, when adopting internationally you are working with two different governments (three if you really want to get technical, since you must also abide by the laws of your state) with many different requirements, all of which must be met). In some instances a country may change their adoption laws (such as Ukraine in April 2008. Under previous laws there was no age limit imposed upon adoptive parents and singles were permitted to adopt. In April 2008 a new law was passed which stated that there could not be more than a 45 year age difference between the child and adoptive parents and only married couples were permitted to adopt. Many singles and older couples who were in the process (several who had already met their children) were not longer allowed to complete their adoptions) or may close their doors to international adoption completely (this often happens when adoptive parents from a foreign country fail to meet requirements previously agreed upon, there are changes in the foreign country's government or if there is corruption within the adoption process). In rare cases, a relative or a citizen of the country you are adopting from may step forward to adopt the child you have been referred, but these situations are not as prevalent internationally as they are domestically.

As you can see, there is risk involved in any adoption situation.

Is international adoption "faster" than adopting domestically?

Again, the answer to this questions depends on many variables. Which country are you adopting from? Are you hoping to adopt a boy or a girl (more people request girls than boys so the wait for a girl will be longer)? A baby or an older child (the wait for a baby is generally much longer)? A healthy child or a child with special needs (the adoption of children with special needs often takes less time)? If you are adopting domestically are you hoping to adopt an infant or will you adopt a waiting child in foster care? Will you adopt a child residing in your own state or another state?

Generally speaking, the finalization of an international adoption DOES tend to happen faster than the finalization of a domestic adoption, but this is not always the case.

Making the Decision

Obviously the small amount of information that I have provided in this post is just the tip of the iceberg. Making the decision to adopt is a leap of faith and is a decision that should be considered carefully and prayerfully. Learn as much as you can about every adoption option and prayerfully consider the needs of your family and of the potential child/children that will be joining your family. Each family situation is unique and the "right choice" for one family may not be the right choice for another.

Tomorrow I hope to post more about the different types of domestic adoption. If anyone has additional questions or comments about the information in this post or has specific questions about domestic adoption, please leave a comment and I will do my best to address each comment and question (please be sure to let me know if you would like me to keep your questions/comments private).

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. Each day during the month of November, I will be posting information about adoption. If there is a topic you would like me to cover or questions you would like to have answered (adoption process, finances, types of adoption (domestic, foster-to-adopt, international, etc), countries (and their requirements/processes), questions about our family (the impact of adoption, adjustments, etc), special needs, etc.) please leave a comment (all questions and/or comments for this post will be kept private, so feel free to ask whatever is on your mind!). I will do my best to answer all questions to the best of my knowledge! I am really looking forward to sharing my passion for adoption with all who visit my blog!

What will you GIVE this Christmas?

Why not give the gift of family to a waiting child at Reece's Rainbow? Each year, Reece's Rainbow holds a fund raiser known as the "Christmas Angel Tree." From November 1st through December 31st, all of the "waiting children" (those who do not have committed families) with Down Syndrome are openly visible for grant donations (the Reece's Rainbow "Older Children" and "Other Angels" are also eligible for donations, but are not featured on the Angel Tree).

International adoption averages approximately $25,000. Finances are often one of the greatest reasons that families are unable to move forward with an adoption. Children with special needs, as well as children over the age of five years old, only have a 20% chance of being adopted. By making a donation to a child at Reece's Rainbow you are increasing their chance of growing up in a loving family and receiving the medical care and therapy that they need in order to meet their full potential.

If you make a donation of $35 or more, you will receive a beautiful porcelain ornament with the sponsored child's picture on the back. So, as you are thinking about what you will give your child's teacher, your coworker, your friends or family for Christmas, consider making a donation in their name for one of the precious children on Reece's Rainbow.

Each donation makes a difference, no matter how big or small. As a testament to what your donations can do, please take a moment to browse the profiled of the families at Reece's Rainbow who are already home with their children.

I have the opportunity to see what the gift of a family can do each and every day as I am blessed by the presence of this Reece's Rainbow Angel:


Won't you help bring another child home? Follow the red "Christmas Angel Tree" button on the sidebar to make your donation and to give your gift of family this Christmas.

*Reece's Rainbow is a registered 501(c)3 organization. All donations are tax deductible.

Halloween Sneak Preview

We had a Halloween activity at church tonight and the kids got to wear their costumes. It is Josh and Evan's first Halloween experience and Evan is absolutely LOVING it (Josh is still a bit young to really care). This whole idea of dressing up for candy is pretty exciting for Evan who has a MAJOR sweet tooth. Here is a sneak preview of our busy little bees:

Five, very busy, little bees

The Queen Bee looking a little dazed

Lukas modeling his costume

Ready for some candy

This picture just makes me laugh! My baby bee with the bee keeper!

Our friends, the Kirchners, will be heading over to our hive on Thursday night for some hardcore trick-or-treating (okay, let's face it, with 7 children 4 years-old and under, I am thinking we will last about 30 minutes max). I'm sure I will have many more pictures to share!

One year ago today. . . .

One year ago today (10/23) I held my sweet baby for the first time! That's right folks, Joshua has been a Rieben for a whole year! Can you believe it!? In many ways it seems like just yesterday that I was holding him in my arms for the first time and at the same time, it feels like he has been part of our family forever! This smart, funny, determined, adorable little boy has undoubtedly been one of the greatest gifts the Lord has ever blessed us with. He is pure sunshine and lights every corner of our lives and we thank our Heavenly Father each and every day for allowing us the privilege of being his mommy and daddy!

Meeting Joshua for the first time (10.23.07)

Signing him out of the baby house (10.26.07)

Joshua and I with my step-father who traveled with me to Uzbekistan (10.26.07)

Sleeping peacefully the first night I had him with me. I remember laying there for hours just staring at him. I couldn't believe that after almost 9 months of waiting for him, all I had to do was roll over and there he was, just inches away. Such an amazing feeling (10.26. 07)

Joshua a few days before heading for home. Poor little guy was so sick, but, even though he must've been miserable, he never stopped smiling (11.1.07)

Our crazy baby (as we affectionately refer to him) one year later (10.17.08)

I am putting together a video of his first year and hope to have it posted once we get back from Philadelphia. Joshua, Evan and I are heading out around 8 am (we will be driving this time) and hope to be back late Friday night! In the meantime, for a recap of our first week in Uzbekistan please click here.

Home Sweet. . . . . . Philadelphia?

Do you recall how I mentioned that August was a busy month for us? Well, let's just say that, at that time, I didn't truly understand what "busy" actually meant! Before I begin detailing the many adventures of the past month, I must apologize again for the novel that this is sure to be. Some day I may learn my lesson and return to updating my blog on a regular basis. . .until then, you will have to bear with me!

Our adventures began on September 11th as I piled Joshua and Evan into the car and drove the 9+ hours from Ohio to Pennsylvania for our initial consult with the doctors at Shriner's Hospital for Children in Philadelphia. For those who are unfamiliar with Shriner's Hospitals for Children, they specialize in orthopedic care, spinal cord injuries, burns and cleft lip and palate. They provide ALL of their services free of charge. Recently, Dr. Harold Van Bosse, an orthopedist and a specialist in arthrogryposis, accepted a position at Shriner's in Philadelphia. Evan and I had the opportunity to hear him speak this summer at the Annual Arthrogryposis Support Convention and, after a brief, informal consultation with him during the convention (and many recommendations from other parent's of children with AMC), I knew that I wanted him to take over Evan's care.

As many of you know, Evan had surgery in April to repair his severely clubbed feet (a common characteristic in children born with arthrogryposis). We had our bumps along the way to recovery, but in July he finally came out of his casts and received his first pair of AFO's (ankle-foot orthotics). Although his feet were not perfectly straight or flat, I thought they looked pretty good and his doctor seemed fairly sure that we had achieved the best results we were going to be able to achieve. When we arrived at Josh and Evan's appointments on September 12th, I did not think that Dr. Van Bosse would have much else to say about Evan's feet. I was wrong. The first thing he did, upon seeing Evan, was inform me that his feet would need to be serial casted. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Arthrogypotic clubbed feet are among the most difficult to correct and the regression rate is extremely high. Knowing this, I had fully trusted our orthopedic surgeon when he told me that, the results achieved through surgery would be the best that we could get. Dr. Van Bosse quickly informed me that that was not the case. Evan's feet were far from where they could and should be.

Evan received his first set of casts that same day and I was told that I would need to bring him back every week to be re-casted until the desired results were achieved (in Evan's case, about 4 weeks). Although I was not completely prepared for the news of weekly trips to Philadelphia, I had received some warning from several of our friends from amcsupport.org whose children were also being treated by Dr. VB, so it did not come as a complete shock. We also discussed the next steps in Evan's treatment (to follow the casting), which are, to address his externally rotated hips and his contracted knees. Both of these issues will require surgery. We have decided to wait until the beginning of the year for these surgeries so that Evan can spend the holiday season pain-free and unrestricted by cumbersome casts (his next surgery, bilateral femoral osteotomies, will require that he be in long leg casts with a bar between his legs for at least 6 weeks. . .not exactly the most comfortable position to be stuck in). This time last year was such a busy and chaotic time for our family and we feel like it will be best for everyone if we can spend a "low-key" holiday season together.

Joshua was also seen by Dr. VB at our September 12th appointment and we were able to learn a few new things about how our little man is "put together!" For example, Dr. VB explained to me that Joshua has no hip sockets (we had previously been led to believe that he had a functional hip socket on his right side). His legs (which consist of a tibia and fibula on the right side and a malformed tibia on the left side) are held in place by only soft tissue. This is simply amazing to me. Joshua moves at lightening speed and is able to stand with support on his right leg. So he is bearing the weight of his entire body on his right leg which is held in place by soft tissues! Like I said, simply amazing!

It was not long after Joshua came home from Uzbekistan that Richard and I decided that the surgical options we had been presented with for Joshua's treatment were not the way to go for him. He uses his body so beautifully and we both felt like, altering his body surgically, would only hinder, not help, him. Prior to his appointment with Dr. VB (who not only specializes in AMC, but lower limbs as well), Richard and I had discussed several non-surgical options that we might like to pursue for Joshua. The option that we were most heavily leaning towards was having him fit with an unconventional prosthetic (a prosthetic that fits over the existing foot) on his right side and having him use forearm crutches for balance. Because he is unable to bear weight on his left leg (he uses it to pivot himself and for balance, but it collapses under his weight), we did not think that a prosthetic on the left leg would be possible.

Upon observing Joshua (and having the prosthetist observe him as well), Dr. VB said he wanted to try fitting Joshua with a short prosthetic on the left side that would support him at the hip (allowing him to bear weight) and would even out the right and left sides, allowing him to balance and stand without support. He was fitted for the prosthetic that afternoon.

I was incredibly happy with the outcome of our visit for both boys, albeit, a little shell-shocked at the new schedule we would be keeping, with weekly trips to Philadelphia. Upon arriving home, I immediately set to work making arrangements for the next several weeks. Thanks to the knowledge of several of our AMC friends, I learned of a program through Midwest Airlines called Midwest Miracle Miles, where Midwest patrons donate their miles so that families traveling for medical care can fly for free. I contacted the woman in charge of the program and she immediately set to work finding flights for Evan and I for the coming week (Thank you BJ!!). I was also given the phone number for the Ronald McDonald House in Camden, New Jersey which was just a short drive from the hospital and was able to make reservations there.

I am a member of my local Mother's of Multiples club and was scheduled to sell at our bi-annual Children's Clothing and Equipment sale the next weekend (19th-20th). In order to sell at these sales, you must also work a shift. I was scheduled to work the sale that Saturday from 8 am-12pm. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I needed to sell at the sale. We needed the money and we also needed to reclaim the space in our garage! Thankfully, at the last minute, I was able to get approval from the sale committee for Richard to work my shift for me (while my family took care of the other kids) and everything went without a hitch.

Evan and I had another great trip to Philadelphia and I was AMAZED at how much better his feet looked after only one week of casting! We returned again the next weekend (25th-26th) with Joshua and Evan (we even brought Maren along just for fun), so that Evan could be recasted and Joshua could try out the prototype of his prosthetic. We decided to drive that week since, logistically, it was just easier. We made the drive on Thursday, stayed at the Ronald McDonald House that night, spent the next day making the rounds at Shriner's and then loaded up and headed back home late Friday afternoon. Once again, I was amazed at the progress of Evan's feet and, apparently, so was Dr. VB. He had Evan fitted for his braces (AFO's and KAFO's) and told us that we would not need to come back until his braces were ready (4 weeks). YIPPEE!

We arrived home late, late Friday (26th) night and spent the weekend relaxing with Richard's dad and step-mom who were in town for a few days. The next week was fairly low-key and we thoroughly enjoyed finally having a week off from traveling. I was finally able to start preschool with the kids last week (October 6th) and I am LOVING it! My friend Stacey and I are doing preschool at my house on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and it has been a blast so far. We are still getting into the swing of things, but it has been so fun to watch the kids get excited about learning!

Richard and I celebrated our 6th Anniversary on September 21st. Because it fell in the midst of all of the traveling, we had to postpone our anniversary getaway until this past weekend. Richard's mother came into town on Thursday evening so that she could take care of the kids for a few days while Richard and I got away. We left Friday afternoon after we got Evan off to school and the other kids down for naps. We drove down to Cincinnati, enjoyed a nice nap at our hotel, had a quiet dinner together and then spent the evening at Kings Island (an amusement park). We slept in until 9am (gasp) Saturday morning, spent the morning shopping at the new IKEA, caught a matinée at the movie theater and enjoyed dinner together before heading back home. It was WONDERFUL! We haven't had a chance to get away together since Ukraine last November, so it was a real treat to have a few days to ourselves. We definitely need to take those opportunities more often!

Joshua, Evan and I will head back to Philadelphia on the 23rd. Evan will be having his casts removed and will get his new braces and Joshua will be receiving his prosthetic! Needless to say, we are really looking forward to this appointment! We will likely have one more follow-up appointment before the end of the year and then we will be able to enjoy what we hope will be a fairly quiet holiday season before the chaos of the new year is upon us!

Now, for your viewing pleasure, here are some pictures captured over the past month. I was hoping to find a better picture of Evan in his casts to show you how far they are stretching his feet during casting, but this one is as good as it gets for now. As you can see, it looks like his feet are on backwards. It is amazing that he never complains about how uncomfortable they must be (they go all the away up both of his legs).

Evan in his first set of serial casts

Evan after getting his second set of casts removed

Evan's feet prior to surgery in April (I'm not sure why some of these pictures rotated vertically when they uploaded and I'm not quite sure how to fix it, but you get the idea)

Evan's feet post-surgery, prior to casting at Shriner's

Evan's feet after his second set of serial casts were removed

A close-up of Evan's foot after serial casting (again, not sure why this rotated when it uploaded)

This is what Evan's thinks about long clinic days!

Joshua at Shriner's in Philadelphia

You just want to squeeze him don't you!?

Evan with his AMC buddies G and P at Shriner's in Philadelphia (aren't they the three happiest kiddos you have ever seen?). These babies are my heroes!

Maren enjoying her trip to Philadelphia with us

Evan enjoying his break from Philadelphia

You just want to squeeze him too, don't you!?

Picnics with Daddy are the BEST!

Preschool fun- Maren making a caramel apple (our letter of the week was "A")

Our friend, Will, making his caramel apple

Lukas concentrating hard on the art of making caramel apples

Jacob painting a pumpkin

Maren painting her pumpkin at preschool

Richard and I enjoying some quality time together!

Crazy days of Summer. . .

Wow! I have become incredibly lazy when it comes to blogging! My apologies to all of you who have been patiently waiting for an update. I must say that August was possibly one of the busiest months we have had in a long time (in my world, a long time translates into a 2-3 month time span). So much has happened that I'm not sure that I can fit it all into one blog post without boring every one to tears, so again, my apologies if you find yourselves asleep on your keyboards halfway through this post!

Evan FINALLY got his AFO's (Ankle Foot Orthotics aka Braces) at the beginning of August. For those who are unfamiliar with AFO's, they have two general purposes. The first is to offer support to the foot and ankle for weight bearing. The second is to help keep the foot in the proper position. The second purpose is especially important in Evan's case because corrected clubbed feet tend to regress if they are not properly braced (it's like wearing a retainer after you have had braces on your teeth). Evan wears his braces from about 8 am-7pm every day and his feet look fantastic. Unfortunately, I do no have a good picture of his feet or his braces at the moment, but for the purpose of providing a visual aid for this post, I will try to get some this afternoon!

Evan has also started on his physical therapy rotation again and is doing great! We are still working on strengthening those trunk muscles and he is working especially hard on learning how to get into a sitting position unassisted. We still have a long way to go before we reach this milestone, but he has really made amazing progress. He is also learning how to bear weight on his legs and had literally taken his first steps in learning to walk. We are using a gait trainer in therapy (think oversized, high tech, baby walker) and he is working on learning how to push off the floor to move forward (he has already mastered the walking motion. . one foot in front of the other, but hasn't quite grasped the concept that he has to push off the floor with his feet in order to move forward). We are hoping to get approval for the use of a gait trainer at home as well so that he is able to spend more time upright.

In occupational therapy, Evan is working on self-feeding. His therapist is in the process of making him modified utensils and a cuff for his wrist so that he can start learning how to feed himself with a spoon. He LOVES this part of therapy because it usually involves chocolate or vanilla pudding! He has also started to use his arms and his hands more. He still does not have active movement in his fingers or his hands, but he has figured out how to use them without full function. I will have to work on getting a video to show you exactly what he is doing, since trying to paint a mental picture is a bit tricky, but he has essentially learned how to "pick things up" and "hand" them to me! For example, if I put a pen in his lap, he can move his hand over to it, slide it between his fingers and put it in my hand (right now I keep my hand on the same level as his lap, but he is getting better at lifting his arms a little as well). Because the use of his hands and arms have always been our biggest question mark, this progress is very, very exciting to see!

And now for the most exciting news for the month of August. . . . .Evan started preschool!! Evan started preschool two weeks ago and he is LOVING it! A few days before school started we went to his open house and met his teacher, her assistant and Evan's aide and had a chance to explore the classroom. Evan was very happy with what he saw and I was very hopeful that his transition would be a smooth one. I had decided to drop him off and pick him up for the first week of school because I didn't want to overwhelm him with too many changes at once. The first day I dropped him off he cried when he realized that I was leaving. His teacher told me that he only cried for a minute or two and then a few times on and off during class. He was ecstatic when he saw me waiting for him after school. He cried again the next day when I went to drop him off, but again, his teacher told me that it only lasted a minute or two and that he didn't cry at all during the rest of class. Again, he was so excited to see me when I went to pick him up and his teacher told me that he had mentioned wanting to ride the bus. Evan and I had talked about the bus and he had always been excited about it, but I was still a little nervous about pushing too much on him too fast. He talked about riding the bus non-stop for the next two days until I finally gave in. I called transportation and told them that we were going to give it a shot. When I told Evan he was going to get to ride the bus he was thrilled! Because he takes his wheelchair to school, he has to ride the wheelchair lift on the bus. He was NOT happy about that part! But his bus drivers told me that he LOVED the bus and only cried on the lift (and I don't blame him. . .I rode the lift with him the first day and it's a little disconcerting!). All-in-all he is having a fantastic time at school and on the bus. He has learned that mommy and daddy will ALWAYS come back and I am very, very impressed with how quickly he has adapted to all of these new experiences (these two things, along with gaining confidence and independence, were the main reasons we felt he should go to preschool). Needless to say, we are SO proud of Evan and so excited for all this year has in store for him!

Evan's First Day of School!

Waiting for the bus!

The week before school started, we made our first trip to the ER for an injury! I consider us lucky that we were able to make it 3.5 years with this rowdy bunch without serious injury! Maren was the victim, a pillow, wielded by Uncle Chris, the attacker! I had taken Evan to OT that morning and had dropped the other kids off with my younger brother and his friend for babysitting. While I was gone, a pillow fight ensued between Maren and Chris, a favorite pastime of theirs! Apparently Chris had whacked Maren in the back with a pillow which knocked her off balance and sent her flying head-first into the corner of the wall. I arrived home a few minutes later to find a very macabre looking Maren (blood on her face, shirt and caked in her hair) and a very repentant little brother! He had cleaned the wound and loving placed a band aid over it (in her hair I might add. . .it was cute). I removed the band aid and it only took a slit second for me to determine that it was going to need stitches. The cut was about an inch and a half long and fairly deep. I quickly questioned my brother about her state of consciousness and mind following the accident, reassured him that everything would be just fine and that would likely not lose his position as favorite Uncle and then loaded Maren into the car and headed back to Children's (Evan has his therapy at Children's as well). My daughter is a beast! She did not so much as shed a tear the entire time. In fact, she was practically indifferent to the entire experience! She could've cared less when the nurses cleaned the wound and didn't even flinch when the doctor placed four stitches in her head! I think she was just enjoying being the center of attention, not to mention the fact that she walked away with a new pair of hot pink sunglasses, a Popsicle, a coloring book and crayons and several stickers! And of course, because she had done such a fantastic job, she got to have lunch at the fast food joint of her choice (in this case Burger King). I actually went home hoping that she wouldn't injure herself intentionally in the future now that she knew it provoked royal treatment! But really, WHAT A TROOPER!

After a long, eventful and productive month, we made a road trip to my grandma's house in Kentucky for Labor Day weekend for some rest and relaxation. My younger brother, Ben, attends Morehead State University and works as a trainer for the football team, who happened to be playing my alma mater, Southern Virginia University, that weekend so we took the kids to their first football game (Morehead slaughtered SVU 49-6. . ouch). They loved it (Lukas and Jacob LOVED the game, Evan LOVED the marching band!). The rest of the weekend was spent lounging around, enjoying family and the fact that there was absolutely nothing we HAD to do and nowhere we HAD to be! It was fabulous!

September is shaping up to be just as busy, if not moreso, than August! Joshua, Evan and I will be heading to Shriner's Hospital for Children in Philadelphia, PA this Thursday for appointments on Friday. We hope that, after their appointments, we will have a better idea of what the next few months (and years) will bring for both of the boys. We hope to drive home on Saturday and on Monday, Evan is scheduled to have the same surgery Joshua had in May (and our fingers are crossed that this will TRULY be an outpatient surgery this time!). At the end of that week, I will be selling my oodles of children's clothing, toys and accessories at the bi-annual Dayton Mother's of Twins Clubs sale and on the 21st Richard and I will celebrate our 6th Anniversary! I will officially be starting home preschool for the kids on the 22nd, we'll have family in town the last weekend of September and, before we have time to blink, it will be October already! Whew! I need a nap just thinking about it!

Sometime over the course of the next few weeks, I will also be opening my new family blog, From the Trenches of Motherhood, as this blog was really intended to be strictly adoption oriented. I still plan to post here, but most of our day-to-day happenings will be found on my new blog, so stay tuned for the grand opening!

Again, my apologies for the silence and for the hideously long update! I would promise to do better about updating, but I am afraid I might leave you all very disappointed!