Richard Here: Day Seven - Hangin' At The Mall

My quest for a good night of rest was ushered in quickly last night when I accidentally ate some candy that was full of crushed peanuts (D'oh!). Since I'm allergic to peanuts my only option was to drink a ton of water, take some benadryl and go to sleep before my symptoms got too bad. Fortunately this worked and I woke up this morning feeling fine.

Valerie would be proud of my breakfast, Bulgarian yogurt with granola and bananna slices - yum!  At 0945 I husteled my way through the rain to the local LDS building a few blocks from my hotel. I beat everyone there except for the missionaries and a few younger kids that were eager to impress me with their english, learned from the cartoon network. The congregation was small but I enjoyed listening to the talks in Bulgarian without translation which meant I caught about half of what was said.  Following the meeting I talked to the missionaries about how to allow the boys to be able to attend English classes which are held each week at the building in downtown Stara Zagora. It sounds like the boys will be escorted to and from the meeting by the male missionaried and the female missionaries will be teaching the classes.

At noon, Yavor and I drove up to the orphanage (only getting lost in the Roma ghetto once). I gave the boys some shirts I had bought them (fyi, Val - they need a youth LARGE) and they eagerly put them on and gave me a tour of their room (see videos). From there we drove to the local mall which was really nice and clean. We ate at the McDonalds in the food court (blech) and they loved it. After that we wandered a bit and played air hockey (no, I didn't let them win, I crushed them equally.) Finally, we drove back to the orphanage and hung out for while where I talked with the psychologist about the boys, their orphanage experience and the routines and rules of the facility (see more videos).

Unfortunately there was only time for one visit today since I couldn't be there till noon, but we ended up being together for nearly four hours and we had a great time. The boys handled going out in public very well and they adapted well to changing situations. The only bad news is I'm pretty sure both of them will experience GI-distress because of eating a burger, fries and a big coke which I'm sure is rare for them. 

The plans for tomorrow will be a bit different in that I'll meet with each of them seperately during the morning and then in the afternoon we are going to as a group on a field trip (perhaps the zoo?)  We are interested in seeing how Eli handles being away from Jesse as it is apparent that he depends on Jesse heavily to help him communicate and is less likely to speak up when Jesse's around. But at the same time, Eli will stick up for himself; today I asked how well he could read and he responded by writing out the entire alphabet for me... in my face, I guess.

I'm so happy to know that Eli and Jesse won't have to worry about becoming separated through adoption because as I spend more time with them I can see how traumatic separation would be for both boys. Eli would likely be devastated and would probably suffer long-term trauma since he and Jesse are so close and depend on each other so much.

Tomorrow's Monday and it's tough to acknowledge that I'll be leaving them behind in only three more days. Paperwork cannot move quickly enough.

Also a quick update on Gabe... he is doing well and his FM took him to English classes yesterday. Aside from being worried that he was going to the doctor, he did well and I believe they will continue to go in an effort to help him transition. I will include an old picture his FM sent me below the pictures from today:

Caretaker, Jesse, Eli, Psychologist

Jesse, Eli (Spider-Man is Jesse's favorite superhero - since I picked out the shirts that makes me awesome.)

The Boys and I

Eli's Silly Face

I don't know what's worse, McDonalds or.... well nevermind, nothing's worse. The boys liked it and that's what matters.

The boys in their room.

The Orphanage Grounds

Gabe with a Therapist from August 2013.

Richard Here: Day Six - New Day, New Hotel, New Sons

Well - it's a new day here in Stara Zagora. My unhappiness with the hotel we were in didn't stop with the poor internet but continued with banging noises late in the night from the kitchen below, a constant chirping by the A/C unit in the room anytime it was running and loud talking in the hallways. So before I even went to bed last night I wandered the streets until I found an open hot spot and researched hotels in our area until I found one I liked - I walked to one that looked good and talked to the girl at the desk and reserved two rooms for the next day.  So long story short we're in a new hotel that was only slightly more expensive but MUCH nicer (I'll post pictures of my room later.) That's the end of my spoiled American paragraph. (Hey Toni, don't ever use the Ezeroto again - go with Hotel La Roka - only 7lv more but SOOOOOO much better.)

But who cares about me?! Let's talk about Jesse and Eli!

At 1000 we drove up to the orphanage - as always it was a bit weird because the other kids are somewhat reserved at first. Knowing exactly what the boys look like, I did not see either of them in the group that was sitting around out front.  The orphanage director arrived and he walked us into the building and his office where we spent about 20 minutes going over a list of questions that Valerie had sent me (you know, critical mom stuff that dads would forget to ask about.) I also recorded that conversation so Valerie could listen in on it as I've done for many others. Ultimately, we wrapped up our discussion and the director went to get the boys.

A bit of a back-story to reinforce here - I met them both several years ago when we were visiting Alexis in the orphanage. I knew their faces and I knew their voices as if it had been only a week ago. Before they even came into the room I had set up my tablet (once again, can't say enough good things about the nexus 7) to get a video recording of our first interactions. I'm so glad that I got video of it, because it was a wonderful experience to be the first one to tell them that not only were they going home to a family, but that they were going to be reunited with their former siblings from the orphanage. Join the super-secret group on facebook if you want to see the video for yourself. Even I'm a pretty stoic guy and watching it really (almost) makes my heart melt.

We spent time asking questions of them and they asked us some questions. We talked about our meetings and discussed a schedule. I gave them an assignment too: I agreed to take them to McDonalds (blech) tomorrow if they would do me a favor: Write down five questions about their new life, their new family, or whatever - on a piece of paper so that I can give it to Valerie and she can respond to them. Hopefully that works out - I think it will. But now a little more about them:

Jesse - He is more extroverted and communicated very well with others. He is animated in his responses and conveys his feelings clearly. He thinks of himself as Eli's protector and the two of them have a bond that is essentially that of twin brothers. Jesse is intelligent and enjoys computer games. If I recall correctly, he enjoys physical education and does not like Math (Eli likes math so I told Jesse Eli would help him.) In the grand scheme of things, his physical special needs are quite minor (in terms of our family) but he has orthopedic special needs that will be addressed either in Dayton or in Philadelphia at Shriner's.

Eli- He is quiet and can be described as introverted. He does not communicate as effectively, but obviously knows what he wants to say - but he has trouble getting the words out. He often communicates through Jesse and they often complete each other's sentences.  He quickly showed an eagerness to learn things like how to spell his new name. His special need is quite narrow but has a larger impact on him. He is hearing impaired, but not seriously. This impacts the sound of his voice, the volume of his voice and his willingness to "speak up" when in a conversation. It's very possible that all he needs is basic treatment or hearing aids, but I'll get a better idea of where he stands over the next few days. Often, Jesse will repeat what others have said to Eli, but more loudly and by enunciating more clearly. Eli's pronunciation is actually pretty good considering his situation, and his tendency to talk quietly is equal to the loud volume of his voice at other times.

So this afternoon we're going to visit again at 4pm then after dinner I'm going to hang out with the missionaries some more before I call it a night. I've heard there is an open-air market here in SZ and I'm anxious to find it so I can look for some gifts for those back home.  Not to mention my never-ending quest for CHOCOLATE!

Pictures for today: (in case you didn't already know, there are TONS of pictures on Facebook if you are friends with Valerie or I.)

Me with Eli (L) and Jesse (R)

Jesse (L) and Eli (R)

Yavor (L), Jesse (C) and Eli (R)

Orphanage and Grounds

Orphanage Grounds

Richard Here: Day Five - From Ruse to Stara Zagora, With Love

First, let me be a whiny American for a second. The Internet at our hotel stinks (figuratively speaking, not literally). Seriously, it stinks. Download speeds of under 3Mbps and Uploads under 500Kbps - when it WORKS which is only half of the time (so no videos tonight unless I find an open hotspot from my room). That being said, we will probably switch hotels tomorrow. (Valerie had the same issue when she was here.) I'm writing this blog just hoping that the electrons don't get lost, which shouldn't happen considering Bulgaria is one of the best-connected countries in the world and good Internet is dirt cheap. But I digress (badly).

But on to the awesomeness that was yesterday evening and today.

Yesterday afternoon we had a brief visit with Gabe and his mother. She showed us how he uses a walked and I was quite impressed with how well he does with it, but along with this came a sad story.  Gabe doesn't like to use his walked because when he does, other children in the park ask their parents why he uses it... the parents quite often respond that his is "sick" and so he needs the walker. Having learned this sad lesson the hard way he has told his FM in the past that he does not want to be sick anymore so he does not want to use his walker. How's that for unfortunate cultural perspectives and negative stigma? The reality is that he actually uses his walker quite well, but his FM gets quite a workout when she functions as his walker every day when she takes him walking in the park. It makes me happy to know that hopefully in time he will learn to embrace his assistive devices as he sees other children in our home use them for their own benefit.

Following our visit (which of course included swing time) we said our goodbyes a little early so that Gabe could get home. Gabe's FM knows some basic English but as part of her efforts to help Gabe get ready for his transition she has expressed an interest in learning more. One of the ways our church provides service to local populations is by providing no-cost English lessons to all who desire to attend, regardless of religious affiliation. I invited her to attend the lesson in Ruse and we met in the town center which is very close to the church building in Sofia. I sat like a stuffed scarecrow while a room full of pleasant Bulgarians enjoyed their lesson. Afterwards, the sister missionaries took a few minutes to help translate for us since this would be the parting time for us since Gabe's FM had to work on Friday. It was a very touching conversation and at times the emotion was obvious in both of our voices. I attempted to express our gratitude for his FM and all that she had done for him and she expressed her happiness that her prayers had been answered that he was going to join a good family that would continue to love him and help him grow. I assured her that it was not only her prayers that were answered. We said our goodbyes and that was it for the night.

This morning I woke extra early to be sure to have time to pack up and head to the store before I met Yavor for breakfast. After the energizing walk I came back loaded up with the first batch of chocolate I've been commanded to bring home (or else I'm not allowed to come home). A few posts and memory pictures later and we were off to our last meeting with Gabe. His FGM and he were both all smiles and he talked about knowing that this was our last visit but he was happy that we had a good week. We listened to music and took some pictures then Gabe told us it was time to go to the social services office (or course we were early) but first I took him for a walk around the block in his stroller and we talked a bit (my Bulgarian has improved dramatically). Ultimately the social services workers were ready and after a brief conversation about the visits (which I recorded for posterity) Gabe said he wanted to walk me to my car so that's what we did. We arrived at the car and said our goodbyes and gave our kisses and as we pulled out of our spot Gabe said "I'm not going to cry".... and then he started crying. He's an awesome kid, he has experienced trials and challenges, but he has also felt the love and caring touch of his foster family and many friends I met during our walks. I am optimistic that he will continue to thrive and develop his abilities and become the best Gabe that he can be and I'll be proud of him every step of the way.

The road trip.... well let's just say that for anyone who has never ridden in a car in most eastern European country that traffic laws are more like rough suggestions, speed limits are somewhat relative and making dangerous passes is a cultural pastime. Yavor is a wonderful road tripping companion and we had a lot of fun conversations, some of which I'll post in the videos (super-secret-facebook-group) section. It took about three hours to make the drive and we crossed some pretty awesome mountains (hills to you western US folks) that reminded me so much of Buena Vista, where Valerie and I met. Finally after crossing into the valley of the kings (which features countless burial mounds up to 4,000 years old as well as BEAUTIFUL fields of sunflowers (sunflowers are row-crops here) we drove into Stara Zagora and checked into the hotel.

After checking into the hotel we had dinner and I went off "wandering" as I like to call it since I taught Yavor what the English term "wander" means. In this case I wandered myself into the local missionaries (in reality I knew where to find them since we'd been talking) and I hung out with the Elders, Sisters and the RS presidency who was just finishing up a meeting (and saved me a plate of yummy food). The Elders had work to do so I walked with them up to the north side of the city where they said "you need to go up there" - and "there" was a long path/staircase as far as the eye could see - and so they went their way and I went up, and up, and up and up. until I got to a small church at the top. The pictures do not do the climb justice and it was a workout like none I've had since cub scout camp this year. I took lots of pictures at the top and on the way down as well as during my walk through the city (which for those of you who don't know, both Valerie and I have spent time in Stara Zagora before).

And that brings me to now. I'm tires, it's getting late, the Internet isn't very good and I'm hoping some of these pictures come through:

One Last Picture

Valley of the Kings/Sunflower Fields

Elders Kingsley (L) and Brown (R)

This is From The Top of the Stairs

This is an Ancient Stone Path which has been Unearthed In SZ

The Regional History Museum
(Val and I Went Here Several Years Ago)

This is at the top of the hill

Richard Here: Day Four - At Least It's Not 103 Today...

Yesterday was hot. So hot.

But back to the adoption... Yesterday went well and the visits continue to be what I consider to be positive for all involved. In case I hadn't made it clear before, our visits in the morning are with Gabe and his FGM and in the evening we visit with Gabe and his FM (his FM works during the days at the orphanage as a physical therapist.)

Yesterday afternoon we met him at his apartment building and went for a LONG walk around the park, along the Danube River and back up the middle of the park to one of Gabe's favorite spots, the swings. He could swing all day I think.  Being able to interact with his FM has been a very positive experience and is a real change for us compared to our past adoptions where we have had little background information, if any that was really reliable. We talked about Gabe and how he has been doing this week. He is happy to see me when we arrive and after crying the first few times when I leave we've settled into a routine where I say my goodbyes and then we leave him at the steps to his apartment with his FM or FGM. He has not napped at all this week because he has been so excited but instead he sits in his chair and "waits" for our afternoon visit. During our walk his FM said that he has been asking about his future family members so we sat down on a bench in the shade and I went through the photobook that we gave him with Bulgarian descriptions of our family and our life in Ohio. He is able to recognize Valerie and I by name and he is able to remember some of the kids (can't fault him for not knowing all of them already!) but most notably he is able to easily identify Joshua. I hope his familiarity with Joshua is a good example of how to not let physical impairments dictate who you are and what you can do.

After our meeting yesterday we went back to the hotel and let the sun go down before we went out for dinner as it was just so hot out. I enjoyed a pizza and some potatoes with feta and then we headed back to the hotel to cool off. Instead of going for an evening walk as I normally do, I stayed up late and spent about an hour Skyping with Valerie and each of the kids took a turn talking to me. Most of them were non-chalant about my presence (they're used to me being on trips for work) but Alayna showed particular interest in my activities including where I'm staying, what I'm eating, and how Gabe is doing. Lily has shown interest, but only in the two boys in Stara Zagora, so Gabe is unfortunately not on her list of priorities for this trip.

I slept in again this morning but not as late as yesterday - the heat has really sapped the energy out of me along with all of the walking. I started off the day by calling the missionaries in Stara Zagora where I spoke to Elder Brown - I introduced myself and told him I'd be there this weekend and would like to go to church on Sunday if possible. We're going to work out the details, but I'll be calling them Friday when I get to SZ and we'll meet up on Saturday.

At our usual meeting time we met downtown at a zero-depth water feature that kids often play in. Gabe's FGM had promised him a water (squirt) gun so we went on the hunt for one in the city center shops. After finding one we filled it up in the fountain and Gabe sat in his stroller firing off shots of water in the air and at us. His fine motor skills are better than to be expected and while they can use more work, I've been surprised overall with some of his physical abilities. 

After sitting at the fountain we went over to the therapy center to see if they could fit him in since his normal slot had been moved to 2pm - unfortunately they could not because the schedule was too full but we spent several minutes talking to the girls there, Ellie and Rougia (pronounced Rouge-ah - it doesn't translate easily). Apparently word has spread quickly between our friend Kelly and the agencies supporting the therapy center and the girls have already started reading our blog - Rougia took my hand firmly and said "I am an occupational therapist, not a physical therapist" as I had incorrectly identified her as a physical therapist in my previous post... Either way, they are both very nice girls and we thank them for the work they have done with Gabe any many other children who benefit from their work. I told them to friend Valerie on Facebook (so you'd better do it!)

We said our goodbyes and walked back towards Gabe's home but first stopped at the swings for a bit so Gabe could relax on the swing. (I will need to build a new swing at our house, I think.) After 15 minutes on the swing we walked them home and said goodbye after making our plans for this evening.  We will meet at five for a short while and then at seven Gabe's FM is going to accompany me to the local building for our church where they teach English lessons twice a week. My hope is that if she is able to learn more English, she will be able to help Gabe do the same. Her English is at the basic conversational level but her vocabulary is focused on orphanage and child-centered areas. So let's just say that her English is far better than my Bulgarian.

A little more about Gabe...

Gabe's personality overall is pretty mellow, he is not overly excitable and balanced in his responses. He gets upset when he doesn't get his way but does the normal crying/complaining that you would expect of a child roughly his age. He really is very verbal if you can get him to use his words, so I think Valerie's studying of Bulgarian will come in handy when it comes to helping him transition. Gabe will be a new experience for us because we've never had the benefit/difference of having a foster family in the picture, and in his case he has obviously formed bonds with his FM and FGM but also has appropriate relationships with other women (mainly friends of his FM and FGM) who see see on our daily walks - which is also an indicator of how much time Gabe really does spend outside the apartment. He does have some institutional behaviors (mild rocking) but he also has some healthier ones (thumb-sucking) which can be seen to help him calm down. When he gets excited he tends to clap his hands and make noises of excitement but when he gets upset (like he did today during the visa photos when he thought we were in a hospital) he cries and expresses his concern verbally (saying he doesn't want to see a doctor) but can be soothed by holding him and talking to him - after a 5 minute breakdown he calmed down and we got a good visa photo for him. He communicates proactively and asks questions in full sentences and expresses his desires. I look forward to seeing continued progress after we bring him home and while his physical challenges may take some time to resolve, I think his emotional and psychological transition will be bearable for him and us. Overall, Gabe's situation is far better than I had expected based on the early photos and videos of him which I used to commit to him. I think Gabe will be an excellent part of the Rieben family and we look forward to having him come home to us.

I'm sorry I don't have many new photos or videos, but since we're spending most of our time walking I don't have as many opportunities. I will try to do better! :-D

Here are some pictures for today:

Always Happy on the Swing

...If you could just hold still I'd like to shoot you...

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

The first six hidden boxes in our Back to Bulgaria Box Fundraiser have been uncovered! 

Congratulations Cheryl Johnson! 

You are the winner of a $10 iTunes Giftcard!

Congratulations Carrie Whitlock!

You are the winner of a $25 Target Giftcard! 

Congratulations Kirsten Armstrong!

You are the winner of a $25 Fandango Giftcard!

Congratulations Lee Gates!

You are the winner of a $25 iTunes Giftcard!

Congratulations Denise Reker!

You are the winner of a $25 Target Giftcard!

Congratulations Lisa Keillor!

You are the winner of a scrumptious assortment of European chocolate!

 

You can contact me via email with your mailing address (or email if you would just like the redemption code) by clicking on the "Contact Me" link on the sidebar. Thank you for your generous donations and your support! 

Richard Here: Day Three - Swimming Time!

After a rough night of sleep I had a quick call with Valerie at 0630 my time and then went back to bed, barely rolling out of bed before meeting Yavor downstairs for breakfast (nothing exciting for breakfast, the same toast and veggies as usual).

Adoption trips are exhausting. Period. It's emotionally draining, psychologically challenging and physically difficult. It also doesn't help that I do a ton of walking during my downtime which leaves me even more tired. But nothing is better and more rewarding than finding a supermarket, well except for spending time with Gabe.

Yesterday afternoon we met with Gabe along with his FM and FGM in their apartment near the park in Ruse. They live on the fourth floor of a standard soviet-style apartment building complete with that I like to refer to as "the ancient elevator of death" - you know, the one with no inside door so you see the wall of the shaft as you go up and down... so scary. Seriously.

His FM showed me his room and the rest of their apartment which was very quaint and orderly even with several pieces of adaptive equipment stowed throughout (kinda like our house back home). We sat talking for a while and she presented a three inch binder of his medical records... real medical records that will actually be helpful when he starts seeing doctors in the states. I connected to their internet service and suprised Val with an impromptu Skype session which allowed the kids to say hello to Gabe and for him to do likewise. It was difficult for him to see because of the small screen on the Nexus 7 (which by the way has been AWESOME to have here - I'm writing this post on it). It's become clear that Gabe's biggest challenge might actually be his vision - he seems to be able to see very close and very far, but intermediate distances seem to give him trouble. 

Gabe's Psychologist from Social Services

Real medical records - Far better than the usual worthless medical report and a "good luck" pat on the back.

This morning we met at their apartment once again and this time the psychologist came and visited with us briefly before we left for swimming therapy at the orphanage. The psychologist expressed her happiness with the progress that Gabe has made since living with his FM and we talked about his need for ongoing treatment.

Finally we left for swimming therapy and drove in Yavor's car to the orphanage which not suprisingly, looks pretty much like every other orphanage I've seen. We went in and Gabe changed into his suit and worked on therapy with his FM, who is the therapist at the orphanage. He actually swims very well (with water wings on) and is able to easily navigate the water with or without his feet on the bottom. While we were in the downstairs pool "room" the director came in and I suggested we go upstairs and talk while Gabe finished therapy. I talked to the director for about 20 minutes on a variety of topics including Gabe, the orphanage size and current situation - apparently this orphanage is preparing to shut down and the children are being sent to foster homes. The director expressed her unhappiness with this, but I had nothing to say on the topic. The director has also known Gabe since birth and also expressed happiness with his progress. I explained to her that his special needs would be addressed and that he was joining an excellent family for him. I recorded the discussion so Val could hear it later (and for Gabe when he gets older).

I've not received much response regarding my blog posts, so if there are particular topics you want covered, please let me know.

Here are some pictures for today:

Orphanage

Therapy Pool - Approximately 20'x12'

Playground - The Entire Grounds are Overgrown to the Point it was Difficult to get Pictures

Read of the Orphanage

Orphanage Entrance - Obviously Not Used - The Active Entrance Is In The Back

Gabe's Room

Richard Here: Day Two - Therapy

Well I think I gave most of the important details yesterday, so today I'll focus on what I've been up to rather than simply talk about Gabriel (Gabe). I continue to post pictures to Facebook but I'll include a couple favorites in each blog post. If you are interested in seeing VIDEOS of Gabe, you need to contact Valerie and request to be added to our "super-secret adoption videos Facebook group". I do not group-jack my friends on Facebook so I'm not going to add anyone unless I am specifically contacted by people I actually know (Facebook-friends-thrice-removed don't count).

So yesterday afternoon was another good visit with Gabe and his foster-mother (FM) and foster grandmother (FGM). We met in the park (the same one you can see pictures of on Facebook) and we sat down for a while and I asked his FM some questions that Valerie had sent me so that Valerie can begin to prepare for his transition in a few months. I recorded the discussions and sent them to Valerie for her to review later.  Overall we're starting to get a better idea of how Gabe progressed through his years, why he ended up in foster care, and the progress he's made since leaving an institution. All of the normal stereotypes were present including the fact that before foster care Gabe was non-verbal for the most part and spoke in single words with a vocabulary of less than 15 words. 1.5 years later he speaks in full sentences, even knows a bit of English and has a more appropriate vocabulary. Additionally, before foster care Gabe was 102cm tall and was 15kg. 1.5 years later he is 112 cm tall and 25kg... that's an impressive growth rate, and shows how much institutionalization stunts the growth of children, but physically and emotionally. Gabe still has his challenges, but at least he's been equipped to handle them much better by people who obviously care for him and have done a lot for him.

Today was a nice (but very hot ) day and we met in the park again, this time with his FGM only since his FM is at work during the day. We took a walk for about 45 minutes, and Gabe offered to buy me a coffee or tea but told me that he only drinks coffee for kids (cocoa with milk) - I declined his offer but bought a round of drinks including a nice cold Fanta for me. After our drink break we walked over to his physical therapy appointment where I got to spend the time watching him as he did his therapy with the help of a physical therapist. I took lots of videos for Val to see and asked them some questions but for the most part I stayed in the background as he worked with the therapists. Following therapy I walked Gabe and his FGM home and then said goodbye. Gabe is sad to see me go, but is also happy to see me come back.

For lunch I called up the missionaries in Ruse and we went for a late lunch at "Happy" which is a Bulgarian chain of restaurants. I had some tasty cheese wrapped in bacon as well as fries with feta and an "orangade" drink that was refreshing on a hot day. Later I think I'll try to find myself a nice big ice cream cone.

Here are some pictures:

Richard Here: Day One, Visit One - Hey, Is That My Sailor?

I'll preface this by saying that I'm still a bit tired... but functional. After six hours of sleep last night I got up and going around 0800 with plenty of time to aimlessly wander the streets of Ruse before my breakfast appointment with Yavor at 0930.  The hotel I'm in is nice and pretty standard for what we've seen on our prior trips. Most importantly, the A/C and Internet both work very well. The A/C is for my benefit but the Internet is mostly for my lovely wife who has repeatedly and somewhat nervously reminded me to take lots of pictures... as if I was going to forget or something?

But I digress...

I walked the streets of Ruse this morning and enjoyed the cool morning air. The first thing I did was walk down to the Danube River and take it all in. I took some pictures of it but I wasn't in a very picturesque area of the shoreline so they don't do it justice. I'll take better pictures tomorrow - I promise.  I wandered eastward along the river and enjoyed seeing the shopkeepers opening up their small shops for the day, complete with the old ladies using their old fashioned brooms to sweep off the sidewalk. But you don't really care about my walk, do you? You want to hear about the boy...

Say hello to Gabriel Bojidar Rieben. Everyone has a special story about the first moment they laid eyes on their adopted child, and this is mine:

Yavor and I were driving around the streets of Ruse looking for the social services office, and a parking spot that wouldn't result in us getting towed. We turned down a street and there he was... sitting in his stroller along the street, dressed like a sailor and accompanied by a grandmotherly woman who was wearing a matching outfit. There he was, 10 feet away from me. I told Yavor I was pretty darn sure that was him and Yavor asked the lady (who we now know is his foster-grandmother) if his name was "Boji" as he's known and in fact it was... her face lit up, his face lit up and he exclaimed "tate" in excitement. He has only known about us for a week and knew nothing until today about what his life would be like with us, however he is a fortunate child - not because we're bringing him home, but because he's had a foster mother who has really done everything she can to help him.

Here is the short bio of Boji (what I know is far more than this since his foster mother has actually been with him since he was 2 months old):

His bio-parents still live in the area and are known to his foster mother, his bio-mother is an accomplished accountant and his bio-father is a policeman. It is believed that his bio-mother had an infection during her eighth month of pregnancy and he was born early. He spent some time in an incubator as well. His birth family turned him over (he was their second child, so he has at least one birth sibling) as this is unfortunately normal in this culture.

After making marginal progress in the orphanage, his foster mother (who is the physical therapist at the orphanage) took him home 1.5 years ago and has been caring for him since then. He receives constant physical therapy due to her professional training. He also goes to formal occupational therapy and speech therapy on a regular basis, and even does physical training in a pool every week. Normally I would laugh at being told this, but in this case it is obvious that he receives excellent care. Case in point: When he left the orphanage he weighed just 15Kg, but in the year since then he has packed on the weight and now weighs a whopping 25Kg - the kid is seriously heavy... like really... deceptively heavy. He speaks in full sentences and expresses emotion in usual manners and although he does have some mild self-soothing mannerisms I'm told he sleeps well. When his foster-mother is at work he is cared for by his grandmother, so he has actually been away from an institution for almost 1.5 years - and therefore has few institutional behaviors that were readily overt. He does not walk independently (he used to walk before regressing after a surgery in 2012) but the condition of his ankle joints (very tight) is probably the issue since he is literally walking on his toes. His FM says that he hates to use a walker or a stander because as he says "other kids don't use them" so he appears to have motivation to improve. The best quote of the day came when I asked if he got along other children... his FM responded: "Yes, he gets along with other kids but he prefers the girls".... Yeah, I think he'll fit in just fine.

I'll be seeing him twice a day and we'll be visiting his therapy sessions where his therapists also speak English (so I'll be taking video). Will be also meeting at his home and should be able to Skype home from their apartment. I promise lots of photos and some videos as well.

In other news, I'm enjoying Bulgarian food and I'm keeping a rule that I try one new thing at every meal and I don't eat anything I could have at home (except for Fanta which is my staple drink on adoption trips). I'll post photos on facebook of less news-worthy items.

Now for the pictures...

Boji is sad that we're leaving. But he's also hot and tired after an exciting morning. This is in front of his apartment building.

Boji and his FM, FGM, and his social workers outside of the social services office.

Boji likes to swing and he enjoys going to the outdoor kids parties they have in the park every weekend. He has also been to movies and the circus and movies (he likes Rio)

That is one big, toothless grin. He lost his first teeth at 5y.o., after he had left the orphanage.

Another shot with his FM and FGM

Safe and Sound

After 24-hours of travel via plane and automobile, Richard arrived safely in Ruse this evening. He is settled into his hotel and hopefully resting peacefully in preparation for an exciting day tomorrow.

Although he has the opportunity to sleep in a little tomorrow morning, he has already informed me that he plans to rise early and explore his surroundings. If he knows what's good for him he will take lots of pictures and provide vivid descriptions for those of us who must live vicariously through him!

At 10:30 tomorrow morning, he will meet with the social worker and be introduced to this sweet boy for the first time!

Prior to his departure for Bulgaria, we finally had the opportunity to sit down and discuss names for the boys. I will wait to announce the names that we have chosen for our older boys until Richard meets with them next week (because they are older, we would like to give them the opportunity to choose between several names and to decide whether they prefer to be called by their new names or their birth names), but from this time forward, this sweet little man will be known as Gabriel (Gabe).

Like the rest of you, I will be waiting on pins and needles to hear all about Richard's first meeting with Gabe and his adventures in Ruse! Please keep both of my boys in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow as these first meetings can be a little overwhelming for all parties involved. As always, we appreciate your encouragement, love and support!

Leaving... On a Jet Plane

I've been in Ohio for less than 24 hours and I'm at the airport getting ready to take off on this long and exciting journey. I will probably post again from Munich but in case I don't, I'll probably post late Sunday on the east coast.

Chicago was fun and it was a positive experience that I really enjoyed. It's nice to be able to work with other security professionals. Right now it looks like I'll be heading back to Chicago in late October for another workshop.

Richard Here: One Week to Go, But I'm Hitting the Road Tomorrow.

In seven days I will be somewhere over the North Atlantic en route to Munich (assuming my flights are going well) but the real journey begins tomorrow. Just so everyone understands, I am not leaving for Bulgaria until the 9th, but it just so happened that my trip to Bulgaria butts up directly against a work-related trip to Chicago. While I won't bore anyone with the details of the Chicago trip (unless you want to talk about information security certifications) I will go ahead and share my rough itinerary for my adoption trip with our friends, family and the rest of the adoption community that may be following the progress of our adoption.

Aug 3rd - Drive to Chicago
Aug 8th - Drive back from Chicago, arriving late in the evening.
Aug 9th: Flight to Sofia departs from Dayton ~1730
Aug 10th: Arrive in Sofia, Picked up by translator and we drive directly to Rousse (4.5 hour drive)
Aug 11th - 15th: Daily visits with little guy #1 and then drive to Stara Zagora on the afternoon of the 15th.
Aug 16th - 20th: Daily visits with not-so-little guys #2 and #3 and then drive to Sofia on the afternoon of the 20th
Aug 21st: Flight departs Sofia at 0630, arriving in Dayton around 2130.

A few quick FAQs based on what people have asked me so far:

Q: Who's staying home with the kids?
A: Val, just like every other day when I go to work.

Q: Is anyone going to be helping her?
A: Probably, we have family in the area as well as friends and other members of our LDS congregation.

Q: What can I do to help?
A: Give Val a call or stop by with A) anything healthy or B) anything made of chocolate. The hardest part about being the "one left behind" is being without adult communication for days on end in the evenings. Val and I will talk during the day but the time zones don't line up well (7 hours ahead) for talking to Val in the evening in the USA. Another way to help would be to support the fundraiser that Val will be running while I'm in-country. Little-known fact (sarcasm inserted) - adoptions are expensive... like brand-new-car expensive.

Q: Are you done adopting yet?
A: Valerie and I both feel that this will be it for the Rieben family.

Q: Do you guys drive a bus?
A: No, we drive a 15-passenger van. But yes, it will be full now. And no we don't plan on buying a bus.

I need to get back to packing. We'd love to hear from our friends and family since I'll be using questions asked by others to help me write blog entries while overseas. If there is a specific topic you'd like covered by me (Richard) let me know by leaving a comment or by responding on Facebook.

Friday's Fabulous Five

In an attempt to fill in the blanks of the past two years while simultaneously keeping up with current events, I give you today's Fabulous Five- something old and something new:

1. As part of our language arts curriculum we have been reading the book, "The Lemonade War," by Jacqueline Davies. In the book, a boy and his sister compete to see who can make the most money selling lemonade. In addition to being a fun and entertaining read, the book addresses sibling/friend relationships, how to use math to solve real-life problems and it even introduces kids to basic marketing and economic principles.

For weeks, the kids have been asking to set up their own lemonade, baked goods and produce stand. On Tuesday I decided to let them put their newly-acquired knowledge to use. The kids harvested zucchini, cucumber and tomatoes from their gardens, gathered eggs from our chickens, mixed lemonade and made brownies. We live on a quiet, country road and don't see much traffic. Recognizing that the location of their produce/lemonade stand would be important for business, the kids asked if we could set up shop in my mom's neighborhood. So we loaded up our goods and drove to Nana's house where we found a nice location with good traffic.

The kids were excellent sales people and made over $100 in sales and donations that they divided between our adoption fund and the Feed Ohio campaign. Knowledge applied!

2. What is better on a hot, summer day than a nice, refreshing CAR WASH! The Mommy Mobile has seen a lot of action this summer and, this week, it was time for a bath. While we all enjoy taking the "bus" through the car wash, pulling out the hose and buckets of soapy water is the stuff of memories.

  Benjamin and Thomas enjoyed washing themselves more than they enjoyed washing the van

 Good helpers come in small packages

Fun for all ages

Lily working hard to keep our "Star Wars Family" clean

 "Someone" dumped my bucket!"

All clean!

3. We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and we believe in and practice baptisms for the dead which are performed in holy temples. From the age of 12, baptized members of the church have the opportunity to attend the temple and stand as proxy for those who have passed away without having the opportunity to receive the gospel of Jesus Christ and be baptized (you can read more about that here). On Wednesday evening, Alayna (who turned 12 in April) was able to go on her first youth temple trip and perform baptisms for many of our extended family members who have passed away. Richard and I were able to join her and it was a very special experience for all of us.

4. Shortly before Benjamin and Thomas came home two years ago, we began looking for a new home. Due to our numbers and the special needs of many of our children, the qualifications for our new home were very specific. We looked for months and just when we began to think that we were never going to find a home that fit the bill (and the budget) the heavens opened and we were led right to our utopia (and we practically stole it the asking price was so low).

With over 4,000 square feet of (mostly) accessible living space, there is room for everyone to move and grow. 3 acres of land (surrounded by countless acres of farmland) allows us to spread our wings and to enjoy God's creations. Our small pond provides hours of family fun and learning as we fish together and study its ecosystem and, in the summer, our pool provides a fun and safe place for us to swim and is excellent therapy for many of our kids. Not only has this home blessed our family, but it has allowed us to bless others as we have hosted wedding receptions, fundraisers and many family, church and youth events.

Papaw and Big Dog enjoying a quiet afternoon of fishing 

Our Annual Memorial Day camp out with extended family

Keeping cool in the pool 

 This home has also allowed us to expand the "Rieben Zoo" to the "Rieben Farm" as we have added chickens, turkeys, rabbits, sheep and donkeys to the mix. The animals have been an asset, not only because they provide us with an excellent (and "clean") food source, but because they have helped us to teach our children the value of hard work and responsibility and have been very therapeutic for many of our children who struggle with emotional/developmental delays and attachment disorders.  

 Evan talking turkey

 Rachel and Rosie (my Mother's Day gift from Richard)

 

 Sheep!

 Maren and her palace of bunnies. She is looking forward to doing 4H next year.

We have been in this home for two years now and I still wake up every morning and look out my bedroom window and am filled with humility and gratitude for such an immense blessing.

5. This guy.

My unconventional farmer

In just a few months, Richard and I will celebrate our 12th anniversary. I can tell you with certainty that, 12 years ago, neither of us could have imagined that we would be the parents of 13 children and innumerable farm animals, but here we are and I wouldn't change a thing. I am often the one that receives the praise and admiration for such accomplishments, but I can assure you that I could do nothing without the hard work that this incredible man does behind the scenes.

In addition to single-handedly supporting our large, ever-growing family, Richard has spent the last four years working tirelessly to obtain his Associates, Bachelors and Masters degrees. Although he completed his Masters in March, he will officially be recognized for his accomplishments in September when he walks for both his Bachelors and Masters degrees. The kids and I are looking forward to making some noise as he walks across that stage.

Richard receiving his Associates degree in 2012

He has built our small farm from the ground up, he serves faithfully as the Cubmaster for our church Cub Scout Pack, he is quick to serve others whenever they are in need and somehow, amidst all of those things, he is still able to be the most involved and loving husband and father that I have ever known. In short, he is a gift and I love him fiercely!