November is National Adoption Month. Although the primary purpose of National Adoption Month is raising awareness of children available for adoption through the US foster care system, I would like to take this opportunity to be a voice for the millions of children available for adoption throughout the WORLD (because they are ALL deserving of a loving home and family no matter where they were born).
Two years ago I attempted to "Blog for Adoption" every day in November. I failed miserably. Rather than set myself up for failure again, this year I would like to focus my time and attention on answering YOUR questions. Are you considering adoption? Do you have questions about adopting an older child or a child with special needs? What about adopting out of birth order? Want to know how our children feel about adoption or how adoption has changed our family dynamics? Or how we ended up here in the first place?
Questions do not have to be specifically "adoption-related". If you honestly want to know how many loads of laundry we do each day, what a "day-in-the-life-of-the-Rieben's" looks like or how we manage to homeschool all of our children and still maintain our sanity, ask away! While these questions may not seem to be adoption-related, you might be surprised to learn that insight into these aspects of life are often exactly what prospective adoptive families are MOST interested in. I receive at least one email each week from prospective adoptive parents wanting to know HOW we do what we do and how life might look after they take that leap of faith. It is always my prayer that, by sharing our family and the love (and joy, frustration, faith, tears, and happiness) that exists in our home, those who may be "on the fence" about adoption will see that they CAN do this, that it IS possible and that adoption can make an already beautiful and blessed family, even more beautiful and blessed!
If you aren't comfortable posting your questions on the blog, please feel free to email them to me (desisdelights @ gmail.com). Also, if you are worried that your questions might be too personal, but you are really just dying to know, don't bottle it up! Remember, we started our family with triplets and chances are, we've probably already been asked every "personal question" in the book. If you are unsure, just use the email address. While there are some things that we would prefer not to publish on our blog, we would be happy to share some of those details privately.
In addition to our Q&A, we will also be taking the time to advocate for many children waiting for families throughout the world and also right here in the United States and we will be launching a Christmas fundraiser for a very special little boy who is very near and dear to our hearts and has been waiting for a family for a very, very long time.
And now. . . any questions? :-)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Here we GROW again!
Just in case you weren't entirely convinced that we are NUTS! Just in case you are one of those people who still thinks we are "amazing" rather than COMPLETELY CRAZY! I think this little secret that we have been harboring just might do the trick!
You see, it appears that the Lord isn't quite done with us yet!
And we find ourselves, once again, humbled by His amazing plans for our family and the call that He has extended. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .to return to Eastern Europe in 2011 to grow our family once more through adoption!!
If you think you're shocked, let me assure you that, we were absolutely stunned when we received the urgent and very direct prompting to move forward, just TWO WEEKS after arriving home with the girls and with Alexis' adoption still not finalized. So shocked in fact that, I am sad to say, we initially tried to push those promptings aside, rationalizing and justifying right and left why it would be next to impossible to do this thing that our Heavenly Father had laid upon our hearts. You'd think that we would know by now that it is really no use arguing with deity! For every rationalization and justification we threw at Him, for every "We can't," He threw, wide open, the doors and said,"You can!" And then He reminded us gently, lovingly, but very directly that these children were chosen to be a part of our family long before the world was and we knew that He was right and that it was time for us to take, what will be, by far, the biggest leap of faith we have ever taken, knowing that our Heavenly Father will light our path every step of the way.
The precious little one that will be joining our family is "Gage!" Gage has held a special place in my heart since the day that he was listed on Reece's Rainbow. I have seen his sweet face almost every day for the past 2 years, but when I sat down at my computer after the girls arrived home and saw his beautiful brown eyes staring back at me it took my breath away. Tears flooded my eyes and I KNEW! I absolutely knew at that moment that he was our son and that it was finally time for him to come home.
Gage (September 2010)
Of course, knowing how difficult it is for us to do things one at a time, there is another little one, currently in the same orphanage as Gage, that we are also hoping to bring home, but because there is a possibility that Gage will be transferred to an institution prior to us traveling (he turns 5 at the end of November), the Reece's Rainbow leadership team has requested that we commit only to Gage at this time until we know for sure that the children will be in the same place at the time of travel. We feel just as strongly that this other child is meant to be with us and, as always, we look forward to seeing where this journey leads us!
So now you know! We really ARE nuts!! And we wouldn't have it any other way!
You see, it appears that the Lord isn't quite done with us yet!
And we find ourselves, once again, humbled by His amazing plans for our family and the call that He has extended. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .to return to Eastern Europe in 2011 to grow our family once more through adoption!!
If you think you're shocked, let me assure you that, we were absolutely stunned when we received the urgent and very direct prompting to move forward, just TWO WEEKS after arriving home with the girls and with Alexis' adoption still not finalized. So shocked in fact that, I am sad to say, we initially tried to push those promptings aside, rationalizing and justifying right and left why it would be next to impossible to do this thing that our Heavenly Father had laid upon our hearts. You'd think that we would know by now that it is really no use arguing with deity! For every rationalization and justification we threw at Him, for every "We can't," He threw, wide open, the doors and said,"You can!" And then He reminded us gently, lovingly, but very directly that these children were chosen to be a part of our family long before the world was and we knew that He was right and that it was time for us to take, what will be, by far, the biggest leap of faith we have ever taken, knowing that our Heavenly Father will light our path every step of the way.
The precious little one that will be joining our family is "Gage!" Gage has held a special place in my heart since the day that he was listed on Reece's Rainbow. I have seen his sweet face almost every day for the past 2 years, but when I sat down at my computer after the girls arrived home and saw his beautiful brown eyes staring back at me it took my breath away. Tears flooded my eyes and I KNEW! I absolutely knew at that moment that he was our son and that it was finally time for him to come home.
Gage (September 2010)Of course, knowing how difficult it is for us to do things one at a time, there is another little one, currently in the same orphanage as Gage, that we are also hoping to bring home, but because there is a possibility that Gage will be transferred to an institution prior to us traveling (he turns 5 at the end of November), the Reece's Rainbow leadership team has requested that we commit only to Gage at this time until we know for sure that the children will be in the same place at the time of travel. We feel just as strongly that this other child is meant to be with us and, as always, we look forward to seeing where this journey leads us!
So now you know! We really ARE nuts!! And we wouldn't have it any other way!
Alexis
It has been almost 3 months since I last saw my little girl's face and held her in my arms and I miss her fiercely! How grateful I am for the 7 other sweet little people who have kept me busy and have made the wait a little more bearable.
Despite my lack of updates, Alexis' adoption IS progressing! After arriving home with Lily and Alayna we had to meet with our social worker to update our homestudy (to include the girls and to state that, after meeting with us, the social worker still recommended us for an additional child) so that we could file our Supplement 3 (having added members to our family) and our I800. Initially this set us back about 3 weeks, but fortunately things have progressed at a steady pace since then.
We made it through the I800 approval process without a hitch and, although several families within our agency had recently experienced difficulties with the US Embassy in Sofia issuing their Article 5 letters, we were blessed to make it through that stage of the process, no questions asked (well, they did ask one question when they discovered that Alexis would be #8. . ."Are they done?" but I'll address that question in another post!) thanks to the prayers of many mighty prayer warriors!
Our paperwork is now at the Ministry of Justice where we are waiting to receive the two signatures needed to release our paperwork to the court. Once our case is in the court system it will be registered and assigned a judge and a court date. Once we have our court date we will have a much better idea of when I will be able to return to bring Alexis home. At this point there is still a chance that we will have her home before Christmas, but until we have a court date there is no way to know for sure (okay, let's face it, until Alexis and I are walking out of the terminal at the Dayton Airport, there is no way to know for sure, but you'd better believe that I am praying for it with all of the energy of my soul!).
Please pray with us that the MOJ will release our paperwork soon and that we will be assigned an adoption-friendly judge who will issue a quick court date that is followed by a judgment in our favor! We are so anxious for the day when this beautiful, fiesty girl is ours forever!
Despite my lack of updates, Alexis' adoption IS progressing! After arriving home with Lily and Alayna we had to meet with our social worker to update our homestudy (to include the girls and to state that, after meeting with us, the social worker still recommended us for an additional child) so that we could file our Supplement 3 (having added members to our family) and our I800. Initially this set us back about 3 weeks, but fortunately things have progressed at a steady pace since then.
We made it through the I800 approval process without a hitch and, although several families within our agency had recently experienced difficulties with the US Embassy in Sofia issuing their Article 5 letters, we were blessed to make it through that stage of the process, no questions asked (well, they did ask one question when they discovered that Alexis would be #8. . ."Are they done?" but I'll address that question in another post!) thanks to the prayers of many mighty prayer warriors!
Our paperwork is now at the Ministry of Justice where we are waiting to receive the two signatures needed to release our paperwork to the court. Once our case is in the court system it will be registered and assigned a judge and a court date. Once we have our court date we will have a much better idea of when I will be able to return to bring Alexis home. At this point there is still a chance that we will have her home before Christmas, but until we have a court date there is no way to know for sure (okay, let's face it, until Alexis and I are walking out of the terminal at the Dayton Airport, there is no way to know for sure, but you'd better believe that I am praying for it with all of the energy of my soul!).
Please pray with us that the MOJ will release our paperwork soon and that we will be assigned an adoption-friendly judge who will issue a quick court date that is followed by a judgment in our favor! We are so anxious for the day when this beautiful, fiesty girl is ours forever!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A medical update
Those who are familiar with adoption, particularly those who have adopted children with special needs, know that the first few weeks and months home are generally filled with doctor's appointments, evaluations, tests and procedures. We have not been an exception to the rule. Our days have been filled with doctors appointments, blood work, xrays, stool samples, immunizations, brace fittings, exploratory surgeries, medications and list goes on. Fortunately all of those appointments, tests, and procedures have paid off.
For those who are unfamiliar with Alayna and Lily's special needs allow me to give a brief synopsis of what we knew prior to bringing them home. Alayna was born with multiple orthopedic special needs effecting both legs/feet as well as her spine. In Bulgaria she had been diagnosed with "Polymalformation Syndrome" and kyphoscoliosis. Lily was born with cleft lip/palate. Although both had been repaired, we discovered that she still has a hole towards the front of her palate caused by what our pediatrician believes was incomplete/improper healing. She had also been diagnosed with "Malabsorption Syndrome," (at 7.5 years old she came home weighing 28 lbs. and wearing a size 3T), though the orphanage doctors assured us that she had "grown out of it" (don't worry, we didn't believe them!).
Upon arriving home the girls were seen by our pediatrician who ordered the first round of tests and referred us to various specialists. Highest on our priority list was getting to the bottom of Lily's "malabsorption syndrome," which she had, quite obviously, not "outgrown." In addition to the height and weight discrepancies, Lily had constant loose stool/diarrhea, her abdomen was severely distended and she ate dirt like it was a dessert (this is a condition known as Pica and it is usually a sign of anemia which the orphanage doctors had told us she had struggled with in the past). I requested a referral to a Gastroenterologist (suspecting that she might be suffering from Celiac Disease) and, while we waited for the appointment we ran blood work to test for anemia.
Lily's belly was so distended she couldn't walk without waddling.
Not surprisingly, the labs came back positive. A few days later Lily had her first appointment with the GI who confirmed her diagnosis of severe iron-deficiency anemia and immediately started her on an iron supplement (to give you an idea of how severe her anemia had become, normal hemoglobin levels in children are between 11.5 and 16. Lily's hemoglobin was at 7.4 and steadily falling. Cardiac arrest generally occurs when hemoglobin levels reach 5 or below. Scary, no?). The GI (who also suspected Celiac or Inflammatory Bowel Disease) then ordered the intial tests to check for Celiac or IBD (this included more blood work and a barium swallow with small bowel follow through). Both tests came back elevated and the GI suspected that Lily might have a dual diagnosis of Celiac and Crohn's disease. The only way to know for sure was to perform a colonoscopy and endoscopy (which we now affectionately refer to as the "dual"oscopy) and biopsy both the small and large intestines. We quickly scheduled the procedures knowing that if she was suffering from Celiac disease, it was likely that her hemoglobin levels would continue to fall despite the iron supplements (since her body would be unable to absorb the iron). Again, not surprisingly, but much to our relief, the "dual"oscopies revealed that she did, in fact, have Celiac but, thankfully, not Crohns Disease (or any other IBD).
We immediately started her on a gluten-free diet. We also scheduled an appointment with the hematologist (to monitor and treat her iron-deficiency anemia) and ran more tests to pinpoint any other deficiencies that may have been caused by 7.5 years of gluten consumption. The tests for vitamin deficiencies came back showing a severe vitamin D deficiency (which confirmed our suspicions of early osteoporosis, though we are still waiting for several more tests to determine bone density and how advanced the osteoporosis is). Now, in addition to the iron supplements and gluten-free diet, she is also taking a heavy duty vitamin D supplement.
I am VERY happy to report that, after just a few weeks of following a strict gluten-free diet, my sweet little Lily has finally emerged! At a follow-up with the hematologist last week we learned that Lily's hemoglobin levels are finally at the low end of normal (11) and rising! She is no longer eating dirt. Her belly is no longer distended. She has gained 8 lbs.!! And my tired, withdrawn, sad little girl has transformed into an energetic, giggly, happy and finally healthy little girl! Her transformation is truly, truly AMAZING!! How can I even begin to thank my Heavenly Father for guiding us down the path that has led our sweet little Lily to physical redemption!?
We have yet to meet with the cleft lip/palate team at Shriner's Hospital for Children in Cincinnati, but now that Miss Lily is on the pathway to health we will be arranging those evaluations shortly. Fortunately, her palate does not seem to interfere with most activities of daily living (eating, drinking (she can't do a straw, but can drink from an open cup with no problems), etc.), but because her speech is so greatly effected, it is not something that we can put off for long (though after the barrage of GI tests and treatments she has been through for the past two months, I think she deserves a break).
In the midst of working to obtain a diagnosis for Lily, the kids and I loaded up the car and made our first trip to Philadelphia so that Alayna could be evaluated by "our" wonderful team of doctors at Shriner's Hospital for Children (the same doctors who treat Joshua and Evan). At the appointment the doctors confirmed that she is missing her right fibula completely (Type 2 fibular hemimelia). Her right foot (also missing bones) is severely clubbed. Her right leg is in flexion contracture (stuck in the bent position at 110 degrees). Her left leg is in extension (locked in the straight position; she can hyper extend, but can only bend to about 50 degrees.)She is also missing bones in her left foot and, although she was blessed to have had multiple surgeries in Bulgaria to repair the clubbing of the left foot, her ankle bones are in a "clothespin" formation and will eventually need to be repaired or she could suffer long-term damage from weight bearing. Her kyphoscoliosis was also confirmed. Her spine has a 72 degree curve (WOW!) but, thankfully the kyphosis (outward curve) isn't fixed and her spine is flexible enough that bracing may prevent her curve from progressing for the time being (though, at that significant of a curve, bracing will NOT correct the problem).
Ever wondered what 7 children packed into a tiny exam room looks like? This is it :-)
Our plan of action for Alayna is as follows: Due to the involvement of her right leg, our doctor feels that it will be in Alayna's best interest to amputate her right leg at the knee and fit her with a prosthetic. Initially I was resistant to the idea (prior to going to Philadelphia. . .at this point I know enough about this area of orthopedics that I knew as soon as I saw Alayna's leg what the options would be and, by the time we arrived in Philly, had already arrived at the same conclusion), but soon after arriving home from Bulgaria, I realized that this was going to be the best course of action for her. The other option is using an external fixator to straighten AND lengthen the right leg (because she is missing her fibula, her right leg, even once straightened, would be significantly shorter than her left). Once her leg is straightened and lengthened, her foot (which is stunted at about the size of a two year old and missing several supporting bones) would then need to be repaired. The process to complete those procedures would be lengthy (think YEARS) and external fixation carries with it a great risk of infection and subsequent complications and there is no guarantee, after all is said and done, that she would even be able to bear weight on that leg to be able to walk. Honestly, I cannot imagine putting her through all of that only to have her end up being unable to use her leg. Amputation and the use of a prosthetic would allow her to walk (and SOON!) and I can assure you, there is nothing this spirited girl wants more than to be able to be up on her feet and running with her brothers and sisters. This is the first surgery that she will undergo and will likely take place early next year.
Our next course of action for Alayna will be to manage her scoliosis. Because her curve is significant and can and will eventually effect her lungs, she will have a device known as VEPTR (titanium rib) implanted to stabilize her chest cavity and hopefully, slow the progression of her curve until she is old enough for a spinal fusion (if it is needed). This procedure involves telescoping rods that grow with the child (unlike a fusion) so that scoliosis can be treated and more effectively managed from a much earlier age. Fortunately, as mentioned earlier, her spine is fairly flexible so, while we are waiting for this procedure, she will be braced in order to slow progression of the curve.
Once both of these procedures are complete and we have been able to assess how her left foot (whose ankle bones are in "clothespin" formation) handles bearing the weight of her body, she will likely have an external fixator placed in order to bring the bones into alignment to prevent permanent damage from occurring.
Whew! And now you see why it has been so long since my blog and I have sat down for a nice chat (and I haven't even gotten to the attachment/bonding, homeschooling, current adoption and secret-harboring posts)! Although it has been a VERY busy 2.5 months, what an incredible blessing it has been to watch my beautiful little girls grow and thrive!
We were blessed with an extra special treat on this trip to Philadelphia! We were finally able to meet our friend and fellow Reece's Rainbow adoptive mom, Tammy Enberg and her AMAZING Ukrainian AMCer's, Ben and Sophie! Here is Evan, Ben and Sophie at the Ronald McDonald House after a LONG day at clinic. And just in case you're wondering. . .Tammy and I have already arranged Evan and Sophie's marriage :-)
Ever tried to get 7 children to look at the camera at the same time?
Attempt #27
Attempt #62
Okay, fine! 6 children looking at the camera will just have to do!
For those who are unfamiliar with Alayna and Lily's special needs allow me to give a brief synopsis of what we knew prior to bringing them home. Alayna was born with multiple orthopedic special needs effecting both legs/feet as well as her spine. In Bulgaria she had been diagnosed with "Polymalformation Syndrome" and kyphoscoliosis. Lily was born with cleft lip/palate. Although both had been repaired, we discovered that she still has a hole towards the front of her palate caused by what our pediatrician believes was incomplete/improper healing. She had also been diagnosed with "Malabsorption Syndrome," (at 7.5 years old she came home weighing 28 lbs. and wearing a size 3T), though the orphanage doctors assured us that she had "grown out of it" (don't worry, we didn't believe them!).
Upon arriving home the girls were seen by our pediatrician who ordered the first round of tests and referred us to various specialists. Highest on our priority list was getting to the bottom of Lily's "malabsorption syndrome," which she had, quite obviously, not "outgrown." In addition to the height and weight discrepancies, Lily had constant loose stool/diarrhea, her abdomen was severely distended and she ate dirt like it was a dessert (this is a condition known as Pica and it is usually a sign of anemia which the orphanage doctors had told us she had struggled with in the past). I requested a referral to a Gastroenterologist (suspecting that she might be suffering from Celiac Disease) and, while we waited for the appointment we ran blood work to test for anemia.
Lily's belly was so distended she couldn't walk without waddling.Not surprisingly, the labs came back positive. A few days later Lily had her first appointment with the GI who confirmed her diagnosis of severe iron-deficiency anemia and immediately started her on an iron supplement (to give you an idea of how severe her anemia had become, normal hemoglobin levels in children are between 11.5 and 16. Lily's hemoglobin was at 7.4 and steadily falling. Cardiac arrest generally occurs when hemoglobin levels reach 5 or below. Scary, no?). The GI (who also suspected Celiac or Inflammatory Bowel Disease) then ordered the intial tests to check for Celiac or IBD (this included more blood work and a barium swallow with small bowel follow through). Both tests came back elevated and the GI suspected that Lily might have a dual diagnosis of Celiac and Crohn's disease. The only way to know for sure was to perform a colonoscopy and endoscopy (which we now affectionately refer to as the "dual"oscopy) and biopsy both the small and large intestines. We quickly scheduled the procedures knowing that if she was suffering from Celiac disease, it was likely that her hemoglobin levels would continue to fall despite the iron supplements (since her body would be unable to absorb the iron). Again, not surprisingly, but much to our relief, the "dual"oscopies revealed that she did, in fact, have Celiac but, thankfully, not Crohns Disease (or any other IBD).
We immediately started her on a gluten-free diet. We also scheduled an appointment with the hematologist (to monitor and treat her iron-deficiency anemia) and ran more tests to pinpoint any other deficiencies that may have been caused by 7.5 years of gluten consumption. The tests for vitamin deficiencies came back showing a severe vitamin D deficiency (which confirmed our suspicions of early osteoporosis, though we are still waiting for several more tests to determine bone density and how advanced the osteoporosis is). Now, in addition to the iron supplements and gluten-free diet, she is also taking a heavy duty vitamin D supplement.
I am VERY happy to report that, after just a few weeks of following a strict gluten-free diet, my sweet little Lily has finally emerged! At a follow-up with the hematologist last week we learned that Lily's hemoglobin levels are finally at the low end of normal (11) and rising! She is no longer eating dirt. Her belly is no longer distended. She has gained 8 lbs.!! And my tired, withdrawn, sad little girl has transformed into an energetic, giggly, happy and finally healthy little girl! Her transformation is truly, truly AMAZING!! How can I even begin to thank my Heavenly Father for guiding us down the path that has led our sweet little Lily to physical redemption!?
We have yet to meet with the cleft lip/palate team at Shriner's Hospital for Children in Cincinnati, but now that Miss Lily is on the pathway to health we will be arranging those evaluations shortly. Fortunately, her palate does not seem to interfere with most activities of daily living (eating, drinking (she can't do a straw, but can drink from an open cup with no problems), etc.), but because her speech is so greatly effected, it is not something that we can put off for long (though after the barrage of GI tests and treatments she has been through for the past two months, I think she deserves a break).
In the midst of working to obtain a diagnosis for Lily, the kids and I loaded up the car and made our first trip to Philadelphia so that Alayna could be evaluated by "our" wonderful team of doctors at Shriner's Hospital for Children (the same doctors who treat Joshua and Evan). At the appointment the doctors confirmed that she is missing her right fibula completely (Type 2 fibular hemimelia). Her right foot (also missing bones) is severely clubbed. Her right leg is in flexion contracture (stuck in the bent position at 110 degrees). Her left leg is in extension (locked in the straight position; she can hyper extend, but can only bend to about 50 degrees.)She is also missing bones in her left foot and, although she was blessed to have had multiple surgeries in Bulgaria to repair the clubbing of the left foot, her ankle bones are in a "clothespin" formation and will eventually need to be repaired or she could suffer long-term damage from weight bearing. Her kyphoscoliosis was also confirmed. Her spine has a 72 degree curve (WOW!) but, thankfully the kyphosis (outward curve) isn't fixed and her spine is flexible enough that bracing may prevent her curve from progressing for the time being (though, at that significant of a curve, bracing will NOT correct the problem).
Ever wondered what 7 children packed into a tiny exam room looks like? This is it :-)Our plan of action for Alayna is as follows: Due to the involvement of her right leg, our doctor feels that it will be in Alayna's best interest to amputate her right leg at the knee and fit her with a prosthetic. Initially I was resistant to the idea (prior to going to Philadelphia. . .at this point I know enough about this area of orthopedics that I knew as soon as I saw Alayna's leg what the options would be and, by the time we arrived in Philly, had already arrived at the same conclusion), but soon after arriving home from Bulgaria, I realized that this was going to be the best course of action for her. The other option is using an external fixator to straighten AND lengthen the right leg (because she is missing her fibula, her right leg, even once straightened, would be significantly shorter than her left). Once her leg is straightened and lengthened, her foot (which is stunted at about the size of a two year old and missing several supporting bones) would then need to be repaired. The process to complete those procedures would be lengthy (think YEARS) and external fixation carries with it a great risk of infection and subsequent complications and there is no guarantee, after all is said and done, that she would even be able to bear weight on that leg to be able to walk. Honestly, I cannot imagine putting her through all of that only to have her end up being unable to use her leg. Amputation and the use of a prosthetic would allow her to walk (and SOON!) and I can assure you, there is nothing this spirited girl wants more than to be able to be up on her feet and running with her brothers and sisters. This is the first surgery that she will undergo and will likely take place early next year.
Our next course of action for Alayna will be to manage her scoliosis. Because her curve is significant and can and will eventually effect her lungs, she will have a device known as VEPTR (titanium rib) implanted to stabilize her chest cavity and hopefully, slow the progression of her curve until she is old enough for a spinal fusion (if it is needed). This procedure involves telescoping rods that grow with the child (unlike a fusion) so that scoliosis can be treated and more effectively managed from a much earlier age. Fortunately, as mentioned earlier, her spine is fairly flexible so, while we are waiting for this procedure, she will be braced in order to slow progression of the curve.
Once both of these procedures are complete and we have been able to assess how her left foot (whose ankle bones are in "clothespin" formation) handles bearing the weight of her body, she will likely have an external fixator placed in order to bring the bones into alignment to prevent permanent damage from occurring.
Whew! And now you see why it has been so long since my blog and I have sat down for a nice chat (and I haven't even gotten to the attachment/bonding, homeschooling, current adoption and secret-harboring posts)! Although it has been a VERY busy 2.5 months, what an incredible blessing it has been to watch my beautiful little girls grow and thrive!
We were blessed with an extra special treat on this trip to Philadelphia! We were finally able to meet our friend and fellow Reece's Rainbow adoptive mom, Tammy Enberg and her AMAZING Ukrainian AMCer's, Ben and Sophie! Here is Evan, Ben and Sophie at the Ronald McDonald House after a LONG day at clinic. And just in case you're wondering. . .Tammy and I have already arranged Evan and Sophie's marriage :-)
Ever tried to get 7 children to look at the camera at the same time?Attempt #27
Attempt #62
Okay, fine! 6 children looking at the camera will just have to do!Breaking the silence. . .
It was never my intention to abandon my blog (and those who follow) upon arriving home with my girls, but let's face it, homeschooling 7 children, managing multiple special needs, and working to finalize Alexis' adoption (among many other things) has left me with very little "screen" time and, I am sad to say, that my computer and I have become virtual strangers over the past few months.
Fortunately, now that we have settled into a comfortable routine with school and the initial barrage of medical tests, appointments and procedures is beginning to slow, it is time for the outside world and I to become reacquainted!
The girls have been with us for 2.5 months now and they have adjusted beautifully! The first few weeks were challenging (as is the case with most adoptions), but so far, we have made it through most of those challenges with flying colors. A lot has happened in the past two months. So much that, rather than provide you with the Reader's Digest version of those events in one post, I would like to give each topic the time and attention it deserves.
In the meantime, please enjoy some photographic evidence that we are, in fact, alive and well!
Our first family road trip (to Northern Virginia for my mother-in-law's wedding) as a family of 9! Here Richard is trying to convince the kids that mommy's driving is like riding a roller coaster :-)
Sisters! (For those of you wondering. . .Yes! Maren is loving almost every moment of having sisters!)
Our first week of school
Evan! Looking forward to sharing updates on Evan's progress in school! He has made HUGE strides just in the last two months! Talk about a shining star! This boy never ceases to amaze me!
Our first trip to Philadelphia! Here we are at the Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey (Camden)
Loving life :-)
Alayna and Evan enjoying a hayride on a beautiful Fall day
Beautiful girls
Mommy and Alayna
My precious peanut, Lily! Just thinking about the transformation of this sweet baby brings tears to my eyes. It is amazing, AMAZING what love can do!
Fortunately, now that we have settled into a comfortable routine with school and the initial barrage of medical tests, appointments and procedures is beginning to slow, it is time for the outside world and I to become reacquainted!
The girls have been with us for 2.5 months now and they have adjusted beautifully! The first few weeks were challenging (as is the case with most adoptions), but so far, we have made it through most of those challenges with flying colors. A lot has happened in the past two months. So much that, rather than provide you with the Reader's Digest version of those events in one post, I would like to give each topic the time and attention it deserves.
In the meantime, please enjoy some photographic evidence that we are, in fact, alive and well!
Our first family road trip (to Northern Virginia for my mother-in-law's wedding) as a family of 9! Here Richard is trying to convince the kids that mommy's driving is like riding a roller coaster :-)
Sisters! (For those of you wondering. . .Yes! Maren is loving almost every moment of having sisters!)
Our first week of school
Evan! Looking forward to sharing updates on Evan's progress in school! He has made HUGE strides just in the last two months! Talk about a shining star! This boy never ceases to amaze me!
Our first trip to Philadelphia! Here we are at the Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey (Camden)
Loving life :-)
Alayna and Evan enjoying a hayride on a beautiful Fall day
Beautiful girls
Mommy and Alayna
My precious peanut, Lily! Just thinking about the transformation of this sweet baby brings tears to my eyes. It is amazing, AMAZING what love can do!Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Home :-)
You know what I hate? Following someone from "homestudy to home" and then having them fall off the face of the earth ;-) I have probably sat down at my computer and started at least a dozen posts only to find myself in a puddle of drool on my keyboard minutes later (EW, I know! But it's the truth!). I AM EXHAUSTED!! Happily exhausted however, and now that I seem to be able to hold my eyes open past 8 pm, I feel that it is time to turn some of my attention back to the prayer warriors and cheerleaders who have helped me to get to this happily exhausted state!
The trip home went as smoothly as can be expected when you are traveling halfway across the world with two children whose worlds have been turned upside down and inside out. Honestly, they both did much better than we expected them to. Alayna proved to us once again just how adaptable she really is. Aside from asking to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes and refusing to sleep (she was so excited to finally be going to America, I think she was afraid that if she closed her eyes, she would miss it), I think it is safe to say that she was having the time of her life! Fortunately, Lily appreciated the opportunity to curl up on mommy's lap and get some sleep, allowing mommy and daddy to get a little rest as well. Unfortunately, sleep was the only thing Lily appreciated about our time in the air. When she was not sleeping, she was begging the stewardesses for juice (which, we have learned the hard way, is not kind to her system) and trying her hardest to lead me to the nearest exit :-) Take-offs were especially difficult for Lily. On top of being terrified of the loud noises, warp speeds and the sensation of lifting into the air, poor Lily was in pain! Although she has had surgery to repair her cleft palate, it did not heal properly and there is still a hole in her palate making it nearly impossible to keep her ears from popping. The look of fear, confusion and pain in her eyes still haunts me.
Officially US Citizens! Sitting in the Chicago airport watching the planes as we wait to board our final flight.
We made it home without incident and we were lovingly greeted by family at the airport (and, thanks to my step-mother, Tina, we have photo documentation)! I wish there were words to describe just how incredible it was to fall into the arms of loved ones after such a long journey! Although I know that the girls were confused, exhausted and overwhelmed, they hardly let it show. Alayna immediately began talking up a storm to anyone who would listen and Lily could not wait to finally get into the car (her absolute, favorite thing) after a long day of flying.
Our family waiting to greet us at the airport!
I honestly expected the first few days home to be somewhat chaotic, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that was not the case! This was, in large part, due to my amazing brother and sister-in-law, Ben and Lauren, who did an incredible job keeping the kids on the schedule/routine that I had worked to establish before we left (have I mentioned that they VOLUNTEERED to take two weeks out of their own busy lives (less than two months after getting married) to take care of our five, very active children, without compensation!?! We are blessed)! Because they had run such a "tight ship" we were all able to fall into a beautiful routine from the beginning and it has been WONDERFUL!
The kids are all getting along beautifully. It is as if they have always been together. In the beginning, several of the kids were a little shy due to the language barrier, but it didn't take long for all of them to realize that the language of play is universal!
The Magnificent Seven playing in the dirt in the backyard!
Lukas, Alayna, Jacob and Joshua enjoying some bounce time
Maren and Alayna helping mommy "make" chocolate chip cookies
Alayna has adjusted well from the beginning. She is an absolute wonder to me! At 8 years-old, I expected her to come home with a lot more "baggage," but, aside from the occasional waves of sadness from missing "home" and friends and a few "orphanage behaviors" (a separate post that is currently "in progress") you would never know that she spent the first 8 years of life in an orphanage! She is loving, compassionate, smart, funny and absolutely NUTS (Lukas has finally met his match for the title of "Class Clown")! She could spend hours playing in our play kitchen and/or with her baby dolls/stuffed animals (which really just blows my mind as, knowing how to play is something that a majority of post-institutionalized children must be taught how to do). I absolutely LOVE watching her hold, love, kiss, rock, sing to and tuck her baby dolls into bed! She LOVES peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwiches and would probably eat them for every meal if I let her and she is a girl after my own heart when it comes to chocolate! She wants to be wherever I am (which is another reason I haven't had much time to update) and I think it is safe to say that Alayna and I are firmly attached!!
Isn't she gorgeous!?
Lily is a whole new ballgame for me and I will save most of my update on her for a separate post (because there are many things I feel are important to share and I want to be sure to give those things the time and attention they need). Lily has had a much harder time adjusting and has a lot of emotional hurdles to conquer, but we have already seen HUGE progress in the week+ that we have been home. When we first arrived home Lily completely shut down emotionally and it has taken a lot of hard work, dedication and love to draw her out, but we are finally starting to see the "real" Lily! She LOVES being in the car and this is one place where she lets all of her walls down (and we get lots of smiles, laughter and even singing!). She also loves the bathtub and playing in the water (though she isn't a fan of the pool) and she could spend hours and hours digging (and she is literally covered from head to toe in dirt when she is done. . .so it's a good thing she loves the bath!). She could live off of oatmeal with homemade strawberry jam and milk, pizza (soaked in water. . .gross, I know) and. . . . .pot roast (this kid is serious anemic! I'm afraid that, if I live cow walked by, she wouldn't think twice about devouring it on the spot!). This beautiful little lady is a fighter (in every sense of the word) and, although it will take some time, I know that she will eventually blossom into the incredible person that the Lord intends for her to be and we will be here to help and love her every step of the way!
WATER!
Covered in dirt from head to toe. . .Lily's favorite fashion statement!
The trip home went as smoothly as can be expected when you are traveling halfway across the world with two children whose worlds have been turned upside down and inside out. Honestly, they both did much better than we expected them to. Alayna proved to us once again just how adaptable she really is. Aside from asking to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes and refusing to sleep (she was so excited to finally be going to America, I think she was afraid that if she closed her eyes, she would miss it), I think it is safe to say that she was having the time of her life! Fortunately, Lily appreciated the opportunity to curl up on mommy's lap and get some sleep, allowing mommy and daddy to get a little rest as well. Unfortunately, sleep was the only thing Lily appreciated about our time in the air. When she was not sleeping, she was begging the stewardesses for juice (which, we have learned the hard way, is not kind to her system) and trying her hardest to lead me to the nearest exit :-) Take-offs were especially difficult for Lily. On top of being terrified of the loud noises, warp speeds and the sensation of lifting into the air, poor Lily was in pain! Although she has had surgery to repair her cleft palate, it did not heal properly and there is still a hole in her palate making it nearly impossible to keep her ears from popping. The look of fear, confusion and pain in her eyes still haunts me.
Officially US Citizens! Sitting in the Chicago airport watching the planes as we wait to board our final flight.We made it home without incident and we were lovingly greeted by family at the airport (and, thanks to my step-mother, Tina, we have photo documentation)! I wish there were words to describe just how incredible it was to fall into the arms of loved ones after such a long journey! Although I know that the girls were confused, exhausted and overwhelmed, they hardly let it show. Alayna immediately began talking up a storm to anyone who would listen and Lily could not wait to finally get into the car (her absolute, favorite thing) after a long day of flying.
Our family waiting to greet us at the airport!I honestly expected the first few days home to be somewhat chaotic, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that was not the case! This was, in large part, due to my amazing brother and sister-in-law, Ben and Lauren, who did an incredible job keeping the kids on the schedule/routine that I had worked to establish before we left (have I mentioned that they VOLUNTEERED to take two weeks out of their own busy lives (less than two months after getting married) to take care of our five, very active children, without compensation!?! We are blessed)! Because they had run such a "tight ship" we were all able to fall into a beautiful routine from the beginning and it has been WONDERFUL!
The kids are all getting along beautifully. It is as if they have always been together. In the beginning, several of the kids were a little shy due to the language barrier, but it didn't take long for all of them to realize that the language of play is universal!
The Magnificent Seven playing in the dirt in the backyard!
Lukas, Alayna, Jacob and Joshua enjoying some bounce time
Maren and Alayna helping mommy "make" chocolate chip cookies
Isn't she gorgeous!?
Lily is a whole new ballgame for me and I will save most of my update on her for a separate post (because there are many things I feel are important to share and I want to be sure to give those things the time and attention they need). Lily has had a much harder time adjusting and has a lot of emotional hurdles to conquer, but we have already seen HUGE progress in the week+ that we have been home. When we first arrived home Lily completely shut down emotionally and it has taken a lot of hard work, dedication and love to draw her out, but we are finally starting to see the "real" Lily! She LOVES being in the car and this is one place where she lets all of her walls down (and we get lots of smiles, laughter and even singing!). She also loves the bathtub and playing in the water (though she isn't a fan of the pool) and she could spend hours and hours digging (and she is literally covered from head to toe in dirt when she is done. . .so it's a good thing she loves the bath!). She could live off of oatmeal with homemade strawberry jam and milk, pizza (soaked in water. . .gross, I know) and. . . . .pot roast (this kid is serious anemic! I'm afraid that, if I live cow walked by, she wouldn't think twice about devouring it on the spot!). This beautiful little lady is a fighter (in every sense of the word) and, although it will take some time, I know that she will eventually blossom into the incredible person that the Lord intends for her to be and we will be here to help and love her every step of the way!
WATER!
Covered in dirt from head to toe. . .Lily's favorite fashion statement!All-in-all, this transition has been much easier than it was with the boys almost three years ago (can you believe they have been home from almost 3 years!?!) and I find myself grateful for all of the extra time we had to prepare ourselves this time around. Though there have been many "surprises" nothing has truly been unexpected and that has made dealing with those "surprises" much less overwhelming. There is still so much to tell and I hope to have the opportunity to share all of our experiences with you, especially those that will benefit all who will follow in our footsteps.
Friday, August 6, 2010
So long, farewell, DOVIZHDANE, goodbye. . .
With passports and visas in hand, in just a few hours, we will finally be on our way home. The girls medicals and visa interviews went well yesterday. Lily had a bit of a meltdown while at the polyclinic. She gave it her all for about 15 minutes and, once she realized it wasn't getting her anywhere, decided it was no longer worth the effort!
We spent our last morning in Sofia exploring the market, enjoying ice cream and taking in the sights of the city one last time. This afternoon we received the girls passports/visas and said goodbye to Toni.
Both of the girls are very excited about our trip home. So excited that Lily insisted upon wearing her shoes to bed :-)
This girl is the craziest sleeper I have ever seen! I don't think she stays in one position for more than a few minutes and could cover the entire surface of the bed in the duration of one night!
Jacob will be happy to know we have another thumb sucker in the family!
This girl is the craziest sleeper I have ever seen! I don't think she stays in one position for more than a few minutes and could cover the entire surface of the bed in the duration of one night!
Jacob will be happy to know we have another thumb sucker in the family!Now we are just praying that their excitement will translate into a smooth and uneventful trip home (I know. . .wishful thinking)! We leave Sofia at 6am (11pm EST/Friday) and touch down in Dayton at 6pm (Saturday). We are so excited to get home and finally have all of our "babies" together (well, almost all of them. . we are certainly carrying Alexis with us in our hearts).
We have very much enjoyed this week in Sofia with our girls. Some things that we will miss:
1. The Backstreet Boys CD that plays in the hotel restaurant every morning at breakfast :-) It always gives Richard and I a good laugh and what better way to start the day than with laughter!
2. George, the hotel concierge. We LOVE George and wish we could pack him in our suitcase and take him home with us (unfortunately we are out of room). He is the nicest guy you will ever meet and goes above and beyond to make sure we have everything we need. He is also wonderful with the girls (and I'm pretty sure Alayna wouldn't mind packing him up and taking him with us as well)!
3. Bulgarian food!! The food here is amazing and just about everything is FRESH!! My stomach and my palate are really going to miss this cuisine!
4. The History. It is always fascinating to visit a country whose history dates back THOUSANDS of years. We have enjoyed visiting many of Bulgaria's historical sites, as well as a history museum, during our stay and we are happy to be bringing that knowledge and experience home with us.
5. The people and the culture. The people of Bulgaria are wonderful! Everyone we have met here has been helpful and hospitable. One of the things we have loved most is the opportunity to be out among all of the people during our daily "excursions" in Sofia, to exchange smiles and greetings and to observe daily life in the city.
6. The language. As nice as it will be to hear people speaking English (though many do here), I will truly miss hearing Bulgarian spoken everywhere I go. I have enjoyed learning the language (and will continue to do so) and the immersion has really helped my understanding and fluency. Fortunately I have at least one more trip to look forward to and some time to practice in the meantime (Alayna and I have enjoyed teaching each other our different languages)!
6. Team Vladimirova. What we will miss most about Bulgaria is our amazing friend and attorney, Toni, and her wonderful family. Toni is one of the most inspiring and Christlike people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. She works hard to have a personal relationship with EVERY family she works with and she loves these children with her whole heart. Finding homes for Bulgaria's orphaned children is her life's work and she is an amazing instrument in the Lord's hands, always, ALWAYS giving the glory to our Heavenly Father. What a gift she has been to us (and our children) and what a blessing it is to be able to say those things about our agency/attorney!
And now, as we close this chapter in our journey, I must also give all of the glory to a loving Heavenly Father who has seen us through every step in this process and who has ultimately entrusted us with the loving care and guidance of two of his most precious and beautiful daughters. We are humbled by the trust that He has placed in us to lead and guide them back home to Him and know that it is only through His continued guidance that we will be able to meet all of the challenges that come to us as a result of that responsibility.
One journey is ending, another is just beginning. . . . .we will see you on the other side!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Family Fun
We have had an enjoyable few days as a "family of four!" On Tuesday we enjoyed our routine walk in Sofia. As we walked down the street we ran into three missionaries from our church outside of the immigration office. We enjoyed talking with them and I am sure that they enjoyed being able to speak English for awhile (especially Elder Jones, who just arrived in Bulgaria a week ago).
At times it was difficult to navigate Alayna's wheelchair in a city that is not very wheelchair accessible, but eventually we made it to our destination and the girls enjoyed playing at the playground for a while. While at the park we met two other American families (both couples with two young children). One family just arrived in Sofia two weeks ago and is here working for the Embassy. The other family is in the Peace Corps and has been here for two years (we were excited to learn that this family also lived in Uzbekistan for 5 years). It was neat talking to them about their experiences living abroad with their families.
This was the first time that Alayna was with us for our walk and she really enjoyed the sights and sounds of the city. I was also pleasantly surprised by how few people stared as we walked down the street, played at the playground and ate our lunch (don't get me wrong, people definitely stared, but no more than we are used to in the US). It is extremely rare to see people in wheelchairs out and about in Bulgaria (and the few we have seen are usually begging) so it was nice to be able to take Alayna out, without being the focus of everyone's attention, and hopefully change a few perceptions in the process.
This morning we took the girls to the Sofia Zoo and a great time was had by all. Unlike the zoo's in the US, this zoo was much smaller and very low key (there were very few people there and I have a feeling this is the way it is most of the time). So, for those of you following in our footsteps, if you need a low key and inexpensive activity to do while you are here, I highly recommend the zoo.
It's almost scary how close you are to some of the animals!
Hmmm. . .I could be wrong, but I doubt this tiger would be handing out big, slobbery kisses if you got close enough to touch!
People feeding the animals is a big problem at this zoo. We saw people throwing cheese puffs, pretzels, etc. to the animals at most of the exhibits. We thought this sign was particularly amusing :-)
Alayna enjoying some ice cream at the zoo (please excuse the dress. . .we are still working on modesty)!
Lily enjoying her ice cream. This is the first "sweet" thing I have seen her eat since I've known her.
Swinging!! There are little playgrounds throughout the zoo and we stopped to play at this one on the way out. Not a very flattering picture of me, but I love the look on Lily's face. Both the girls love to swing!
We generally keep our afternoons very low key and yesterday and today were no exception. We spent both afternoons in our hotel room napping, coloring, doing puzzles, painting nails and taking baths.
Alayna and Lily enjoying some splash time
At times it was difficult to navigate Alayna's wheelchair in a city that is not very wheelchair accessible, but eventually we made it to our destination and the girls enjoyed playing at the playground for a while. While at the park we met two other American families (both couples with two young children). One family just arrived in Sofia two weeks ago and is here working for the Embassy. The other family is in the Peace Corps and has been here for two years (we were excited to learn that this family also lived in Uzbekistan for 5 years). It was neat talking to them about their experiences living abroad with their families.
This was the first time that Alayna was with us for our walk and she really enjoyed the sights and sounds of the city. I was also pleasantly surprised by how few people stared as we walked down the street, played at the playground and ate our lunch (don't get me wrong, people definitely stared, but no more than we are used to in the US). It is extremely rare to see people in wheelchairs out and about in Bulgaria (and the few we have seen are usually begging) so it was nice to be able to take Alayna out, without being the focus of everyone's attention, and hopefully change a few perceptions in the process.
This morning we took the girls to the Sofia Zoo and a great time was had by all. Unlike the zoo's in the US, this zoo was much smaller and very low key (there were very few people there and I have a feeling this is the way it is most of the time). So, for those of you following in our footsteps, if you need a low key and inexpensive activity to do while you are here, I highly recommend the zoo.
It's almost scary how close you are to some of the animals!
Hmmm. . .I could be wrong, but I doubt this tiger would be handing out big, slobbery kisses if you got close enough to touch!
People feeding the animals is a big problem at this zoo. We saw people throwing cheese puffs, pretzels, etc. to the animals at most of the exhibits. We thought this sign was particularly amusing :-)
Alayna enjoying some ice cream at the zoo (please excuse the dress. . .we are still working on modesty)!
Lily enjoying her ice cream. This is the first "sweet" thing I have seen her eat since I've known her.
Swinging!! There are little playgrounds throughout the zoo and we stopped to play at this one on the way out. Not a very flattering picture of me, but I love the look on Lily's face. Both the girls love to swing!
Alayna and Lily enjoying some splash timeThe girls are both doing well. Both have "orphanage behaviors" that we are working on (and will likely be for some time), but nothing that we are unfamiliar with or unprepared for (I will go into more detail about these things once we are home and settled because I think they are important to discuss). The days are long and we are all ready to head home, but I am grateful that we have been able to spend this time in Sofia with the girls. Obviously because it is nice to be able to focus our attention completely on them for a few days before we get home and have to divide our attention seven different ways, but also because I feel that, in a way, having the girls with us in Sofia for a week puts us all on common ground. We are all in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, speaking an unfamiliar language and it certainly makes it easier to understand even a fraction of what the girls might be feeling.
Tomorrow morning we will take the girls to their medical appointments and, in the afternoon, we have our visa interviews at the US Embassy. It will be a long day for all of us. Please keep the girls in your prayers, especially Lily as, the last time we were on "official business," she had a major meltdown and I am worried (more for her than for me. . .at this point in motherhood, I am seasoned veteran when it comes to meltdowns) that tomorrow could bring more of the same for her.
Tomorrow morning we will take the girls to their medical appointments and, in the afternoon, we have our visa interviews at the US Embassy. It will be a long day for all of us. Please keep the girls in your prayers, especially Lily as, the last time we were on "official business," she had a major meltdown and I am worried (more for her than for me. . .at this point in motherhood, I am seasoned veteran when it comes to meltdowns) that tomorrow could bring more of the same for her.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Gotcha!!
Today was a WONDERFUL success! After spending half the night awake changing Lily's diapers (I'd say we changed at least 10 absolutely awful diapers during the night. . .poor baby) and starting the day with Lily throwing up over breakfast (she ate WAY too much yesterday and her poor digestive system just couldn't handle it), I was a little nervous about how we would all make it through this day and live to tell! Although, we definitely had our rough spots, for the most part, everything has gone very well.
We drove to Lukovit first this this morning where Alayna's mother, grandmother and grandfather were waiting for us. Aside from Lily throwing a tantrum throughout most of the meeting, it was an incredible experience for all of us. Alayna's birth family is wonderful. They love her dearly and, although they are sad that she will be so far away, they are so happy to know that she will be loved and cared for and have the opportunity to reach her full potential. I was deeply touched when Alayna's grandmother took me in her arms and told me that, she had been blessed with two daughters and now she had three and when Alayna's mother kissed my cheeks and told me that I would forever be like her sister. It was an emotional meeting for us all and I will be forever grateful for the blessing of having these wonderful, loving people in my life (and Alayna's). What a truly incredible gift.
Mama Valerie, Mama DiDi (Dimitrina), Diado Mitko (grandpa), Baba Violeta (grandma) and Tatko Richard.
Alayna met with her birth family to say a final goodbye before we arrived this morning and her mother explained to her that she was blessed to have two mama's that love her and that today she would be going home with Mama Valerie and Tatko Richard so she was ready to go when we arrived. While we were meeting with her family. her caretakers were preparing her to leave. All of the children from the orphanage were playing outside when we arrived and were still out there when we left. As we walked to the car with Alayna, everyone followed us yelling "Goodbye" and "We'll miss you" (in Bulgarian of coure).
Leaving the orphanage
Alayna did fairly well as we drove away from the orphanage, but about 10 minutes in to our drive back to Sofia, she broke down and began to just sob. My heart ached for her as I watched her grieve the loss of her friends and family. She cried on and off for most of the trip home, but by the time we arrived in Sofia she was fine.
Before returning to the hotel we had to stop by the immigration office to apply for the girls passports. As soon as we left the car and walked into the building Lily began to wail (one thing we know for sure. . .there is absolutely nothing wrong with this girls lungs!!). She screamed and cried and kicked in my arms the entire time we were in the immigration office and she refused to be comforted. I can't wait to pull out her Bulgarian passport when she is a teenager and show all the boys what Lily looks like when she doesn't get her way :-) As soon as we left the building and got back into the car it was like nothing had ever happened. I think she has already given me a few gray hairs!
We spent a low key afternoon in the hotel room. Alayna enjoyed coloring, listening to Bulgarian children's songs on my iPod and talking to her aunt, uncle, brothers, sister and grandma via Skype. Richard and Alayna went downstairs and ordered pizza for dinner. I think this pizza will probably feed us all for the rest of the week, don't you?
I am very glad that I took the time to learn enough Bulgarian to be able to effectively communicate with the girls (and, of course, I continue to learn more each day as I talk to them). Alayna is a social butterfly and it has made bonding and attaching much easier because I understand what she needs/wants and can respond to those wants/needs without a lot of frustration caused by the language barrier. There have been a few times when I have not understood her (and I pretty sure she cussed me out in Bulgarian at one point), but for the most part, we have been able to communicate very effectively.
Alayna is an amazing girl. She gets around without a wheelchair VERY well (although the orphanage did allow us to take one with us (neat story about that later) she hasn't used it much). She absolutely LOVES the bath. She took two baths tonight and wanted to take a third, but we eventually talked her into waiting until tomorrow morning! She has also tried on just about every article of clothing (including every pair of socks and every pair of underwear) that we brought for her! She is destined to be a daddy's girl. She loves hanging out with her daddy and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. They have already developed a "secret handshake" (okay, it is just an "exploding" fist bump, but it is hilarious to watch). She seems to enjoy her mommy time as well, but for the most part, I am just the translator for her and her daddy (which is actually very good because Lily still needs a decent amount of my attention).
Alayna and her daddy! Two peas in a pod!
Both of the girls (and Richard) are now sleeping peacefully. Your thoughts and prayers were heard and we have been blessed with a truly amazing day! Tomorrow and Wednesday will be "down days" as we wait for the girls passports to be processed (they should be ready to pick up on Wednesday afternoon). We will make up for those low-key days on Thursday which we will spend at the polyclinic in the morning (in order for the girls to be issued Visa's, the US requires a medical exam) and the US Embassy in the afternoon. The visa's should be ready by Friday and our flight departs on Saturday morning at 6 am.
We are overjoyed to FINALLY have both of our beautiful girls with us and we cannot wait to get them home! Please continue to keep the girls in your prayers. They are doing well, but they still have a long road ahead of them as they process through all of these changes in their lives and transition into our family.
We drove to Lukovit first this this morning where Alayna's mother, grandmother and grandfather were waiting for us. Aside from Lily throwing a tantrum throughout most of the meeting, it was an incredible experience for all of us. Alayna's birth family is wonderful. They love her dearly and, although they are sad that she will be so far away, they are so happy to know that she will be loved and cared for and have the opportunity to reach her full potential. I was deeply touched when Alayna's grandmother took me in her arms and told me that, she had been blessed with two daughters and now she had three and when Alayna's mother kissed my cheeks and told me that I would forever be like her sister. It was an emotional meeting for us all and I will be forever grateful for the blessing of having these wonderful, loving people in my life (and Alayna's). What a truly incredible gift.
Mama Valerie, Mama DiDi (Dimitrina), Diado Mitko (grandpa), Baba Violeta (grandma) and Tatko Richard.Alayna met with her birth family to say a final goodbye before we arrived this morning and her mother explained to her that she was blessed to have two mama's that love her and that today she would be going home with Mama Valerie and Tatko Richard so she was ready to go when we arrived. While we were meeting with her family. her caretakers were preparing her to leave. All of the children from the orphanage were playing outside when we arrived and were still out there when we left. As we walked to the car with Alayna, everyone followed us yelling "Goodbye" and "We'll miss you" (in Bulgarian of coure).
Leaving the orphanageAlayna did fairly well as we drove away from the orphanage, but about 10 minutes in to our drive back to Sofia, she broke down and began to just sob. My heart ached for her as I watched her grieve the loss of her friends and family. She cried on and off for most of the trip home, but by the time we arrived in Sofia she was fine.
Before returning to the hotel we had to stop by the immigration office to apply for the girls passports. As soon as we left the car and walked into the building Lily began to wail (one thing we know for sure. . .there is absolutely nothing wrong with this girls lungs!!). She screamed and cried and kicked in my arms the entire time we were in the immigration office and she refused to be comforted. I can't wait to pull out her Bulgarian passport when she is a teenager and show all the boys what Lily looks like when she doesn't get her way :-) As soon as we left the building and got back into the car it was like nothing had ever happened. I think she has already given me a few gray hairs!
We spent a low key afternoon in the hotel room. Alayna enjoyed coloring, listening to Bulgarian children's songs on my iPod and talking to her aunt, uncle, brothers, sister and grandma via Skype. Richard and Alayna went downstairs and ordered pizza for dinner. I think this pizza will probably feed us all for the rest of the week, don't you?
I am very glad that I took the time to learn enough Bulgarian to be able to effectively communicate with the girls (and, of course, I continue to learn more each day as I talk to them). Alayna is a social butterfly and it has made bonding and attaching much easier because I understand what she needs/wants and can respond to those wants/needs without a lot of frustration caused by the language barrier. There have been a few times when I have not understood her (and I pretty sure she cussed me out in Bulgarian at one point), but for the most part, we have been able to communicate very effectively.
Alayna is an amazing girl. She gets around without a wheelchair VERY well (although the orphanage did allow us to take one with us (neat story about that later) she hasn't used it much). She absolutely LOVES the bath. She took two baths tonight and wanted to take a third, but we eventually talked her into waiting until tomorrow morning! She has also tried on just about every article of clothing (including every pair of socks and every pair of underwear) that we brought for her! She is destined to be a daddy's girl. She loves hanging out with her daddy and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. They have already developed a "secret handshake" (okay, it is just an "exploding" fist bump, but it is hilarious to watch). She seems to enjoy her mommy time as well, but for the most part, I am just the translator for her and her daddy (which is actually very good because Lily still needs a decent amount of my attention).
Alayna and her daddy! Two peas in a pod!Both of the girls (and Richard) are now sleeping peacefully. Your thoughts and prayers were heard and we have been blessed with a truly amazing day! Tomorrow and Wednesday will be "down days" as we wait for the girls passports to be processed (they should be ready to pick up on Wednesday afternoon). We will make up for those low-key days on Thursday which we will spend at the polyclinic in the morning (in order for the girls to be issued Visa's, the US requires a medical exam) and the US Embassy in the afternoon. The visa's should be ready by Friday and our flight departs on Saturday morning at 6 am.
We are overjoyed to FINALLY have both of our beautiful girls with us and we cannot wait to get them home! Please continue to keep the girls in your prayers. They are doing well, but they still have a long road ahead of them as they process through all of these changes in their lives and transition into our family.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
A Unique Situation
Tomorrow is Alayna's "Gotcha Day" and we are so excited to finally have our girl in our arms! We have not shared this with many people but, when I met Alayna for the first time in March, I learned that her birth mother and grandmother still write/call/visit her several times per year (every birthday and Christmas as well as various holidays throughout the year). This revelation brought with it many different emotions as well as some stress in regards to how this might effect Alayna's adoption.
Once the adoption was finalized I asked Toni if it would be possible to contact the birth mother to let her know that Alayna had been adopted so that she would have a chance to see her daughter and say goodbye before we brought her home. For this to happen, the local social services had to approve the contact. The day before we left for Bulgaria, Toni contacted me to let me know that social services had approved, the birth mother had been contacted and that she and the grandmother had been to visit Alayna that day. To my relief, they were very happy to learn that Alayna had been adopted and were excited that she would finally receive the medical treatment she needs. They also requested to meet Richard and I. We gladly accepted!
We are very happy to have this opportunity to sit down with Alayna's birth family and get to know them, ask questions and continue our contact with them once we return home so that they can continue to watch Alayna grow and reach her full potential as the beautiful daughter of God that she is. We know that this relationship between two families that love her with also be beneficial to Alayna.
Tomorrow will be a very busy and emotionally charged day. Please pray that our meeting with Alayna's birth family will be positive and that we will be able to share our hearts for Alayna with each other despite the language barrier. Please pray that this transition will be smooth for Alayna and that she will be able to understand what is going on. Pray that we will be able to help her process through the change to the best of our abilities. And please, please pray for Lily. She is making great strides, but tomorrow will be a big day for her as well and we are a little nervous about how the events of tomorrow will effect her.
Today was another wonderful day and we feel that Lily has taken some very positive steps forward already. There is much to tell and I promise that those things will not be left unsaid, but it is going to be an early morning and a long day tomorrow and my bed is calling my name (oh, wait. . .I think that was Richard!).
Thank you all for your prayers and also for your encouraging comments! Those things are what keep us going when the going gets tough!
Once the adoption was finalized I asked Toni if it would be possible to contact the birth mother to let her know that Alayna had been adopted so that she would have a chance to see her daughter and say goodbye before we brought her home. For this to happen, the local social services had to approve the contact. The day before we left for Bulgaria, Toni contacted me to let me know that social services had approved, the birth mother had been contacted and that she and the grandmother had been to visit Alayna that day. To my relief, they were very happy to learn that Alayna had been adopted and were excited that she would finally receive the medical treatment she needs. They also requested to meet Richard and I. We gladly accepted!
We are very happy to have this opportunity to sit down with Alayna's birth family and get to know them, ask questions and continue our contact with them once we return home so that they can continue to watch Alayna grow and reach her full potential as the beautiful daughter of God that she is. We know that this relationship between two families that love her with also be beneficial to Alayna.
Tomorrow will be a very busy and emotionally charged day. Please pray that our meeting with Alayna's birth family will be positive and that we will be able to share our hearts for Alayna with each other despite the language barrier. Please pray that this transition will be smooth for Alayna and that she will be able to understand what is going on. Pray that we will be able to help her process through the change to the best of our abilities. And please, please pray for Lily. She is making great strides, but tomorrow will be a big day for her as well and we are a little nervous about how the events of tomorrow will effect her.
Today was another wonderful day and we feel that Lily has taken some very positive steps forward already. There is much to tell and I promise that those things will not be left unsaid, but it is going to be an early morning and a long day tomorrow and my bed is calling my name (oh, wait. . .I think that was Richard!).
Thank you all for your prayers and also for your encouraging comments! Those things are what keep us going when the going gets tough!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Settling In
Today has been a much better day for Miss Lily. After a good night's sleep, Lily and I laid in bed this morning for about an hour while I ran my fingers through her hair (she LOVES this) and snuggled.
Loved walking into our hotel room this afternoon and seeing our pillows lined up!
While Richard went downstairs to get breakfast for us, I gave Lily a bubble bath. At first she was not quite sure about it, but after about a minute she sat down and started splashing and playing with the bubbles until they all disappeared.
After baths and breakfast we decided to take Lily for a walk. She was thrilled to ride in the stroller and to finally be outside. We walked down to see some of the historical sites (Alexander Nevsky Cathedral, Russian Church, etc.), then grabbed some lunch at McDonalds (we generally try to avoid McDonalds and enjoy the local cuisine when we are in other countries, but, because food is an issue for Lily and we knew she would eat the fries, we decided to stick with what we knew she would eat) and then walked to a local park to enjoy our lunch. The park was alive with families enjoying the beautiful weather and there was even a group of musicians/storytellers there to entertain the children. It turned out to be a wonderful family outing.
Mommy and Lily in front of the Russian Church (it wasn't until we got back to the hotel that we realized this was the only picture we had taken! Oops!)
We kept the afternoon very low key and spent the rest of the day in our hotel room. Lily was not a big fan of that plan and just wanted to get back into the stroller and go, but eventually she accepted just sitting in front of the window in the stroller and watching the hustle and bustle from there.
Thank goodness for a room with a view!
She is definitely still mourning the loss of life as she has always known it and I know that this will be the case for quite some time. She spent a good portion of the day looking through the photo album of her friends and caretakers and went to bed tonight with the album turned to her favorite picture, tucked in beside her. Though she is obviously still hopeful that, at some point, we will get back into the car and take her back to the orphanage, she has stopped fighting and is content to be here with us and to allow us to love and comfort her. She enjoys having me close by and especially loves to have her back rubbed or for me to run my fingers through her hair, but every now and then she needs her space and we give it to her. This is an enormous change for her and very traumatic and she needs time to process and grieve.
Sitting in the stroller with the bag she packed (with her bear, photo album, clothes and shoes) in front of the window.
Like most children her age, she wants what she wants when she wants it and there has definitely been some testing of boundaries, especially where food is concerned. If she had it her way, she would eat french fries and juice for every meal. Due to the current condition of her palate (it has been "repaired" but there is still a fairly significant crevice as well as a small hole) her diet is limited to mostly soft foods like yogurt, soup, banana's, bread, etc. Though she often puts up a fight when presented with these foods, she is quickly learning that, if she wants to eat, she will have to eat what she is given (and, thanks to her caregivers, we know exactly what her diet normally consists of and this is what we offer).
She has also had some trouble with the potty. She is potty trained but she has always used a "pot" rather than a regular toilet and, at this point, she has refused to sit on the toilet. She has had an upset stomach (diarrhea) since we left the orphanage and, after going through several pairs of underwear within the first few hours of arriving in Sofia, we decided to put her in pull ups for the time being. With her upset stomach and the trauma of leaving everything familiar behind, this is simply a battle that we feel will be better fought at home once she has had some time to adjust.
Again, I am very grateful that we are able to spend the weekend focusing on Lily and helping her to process through this traumatic time before bringing Alayna into the mix. It is absolutely what she needed and I have little doubt that the timing of things was absolutely orchestrated by a loving Heavenly Father who already knew just what she would need.
We thank you all for your prayers and support. We know that they are heard and we feel the effects of each and every one of them. What a blessing it has been to know that there are so many people praying for us and for our sweet little girl.
Loved walking into our hotel room this afternoon and seeing our pillows lined up!After baths and breakfast we decided to take Lily for a walk. She was thrilled to ride in the stroller and to finally be outside. We walked down to see some of the historical sites (Alexander Nevsky Cathedral, Russian Church, etc.), then grabbed some lunch at McDonalds (we generally try to avoid McDonalds and enjoy the local cuisine when we are in other countries, but, because food is an issue for Lily and we knew she would eat the fries, we decided to stick with what we knew she would eat) and then walked to a local park to enjoy our lunch. The park was alive with families enjoying the beautiful weather and there was even a group of musicians/storytellers there to entertain the children. It turned out to be a wonderful family outing.
Mommy and Lily in front of the Russian Church (it wasn't until we got back to the hotel that we realized this was the only picture we had taken! Oops!)We kept the afternoon very low key and spent the rest of the day in our hotel room. Lily was not a big fan of that plan and just wanted to get back into the stroller and go, but eventually she accepted just sitting in front of the window in the stroller and watching the hustle and bustle from there.
Thank goodness for a room with a view!
Sitting in the stroller with the bag she packed (with her bear, photo album, clothes and shoes) in front of the window.She has also had some trouble with the potty. She is potty trained but she has always used a "pot" rather than a regular toilet and, at this point, she has refused to sit on the toilet. She has had an upset stomach (diarrhea) since we left the orphanage and, after going through several pairs of underwear within the first few hours of arriving in Sofia, we decided to put her in pull ups for the time being. With her upset stomach and the trauma of leaving everything familiar behind, this is simply a battle that we feel will be better fought at home once she has had some time to adjust.
Again, I am very grateful that we are able to spend the weekend focusing on Lily and helping her to process through this traumatic time before bringing Alayna into the mix. It is absolutely what she needed and I have little doubt that the timing of things was absolutely orchestrated by a loving Heavenly Father who already knew just what she would need.
We thank you all for your prayers and support. We know that they are heard and we feel the effects of each and every one of them. What a blessing it has been to know that there are so many people praying for us and for our sweet little girl.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Allow me to be frank. . . .
Today was an emotionally exhausting day for everyone. As much as I would like to report that Alexis walked back to her group with an understanding smile on her face and Lily walked out of that orphanage never to look back, that is just not how things went down today. Let's face it, adoption is rarely all sunshine and roses. Fortunately, we understood that when we signed up!
We were able to visit with Alexis for about an hour this morning. I knew from the moment that she walked into the room that this visit would be different. While she normally runs down the hall yelling our names and burst into the room and into our arms, today she simply walked into the room, stopped and stared at us. She absolutely knew what would be happening today and she was not at all happy about it. For the most part, she kept her distance from us today and throughout the visit she would ask us again and again why we were taking Lily and when we would be taking her. We were able to catch a small glimpse of the vibrant, feisty girl who has stolen our hearts when we gave her the teddy bear we made for her (it says "I love you" in Bulgarian and English). She LOVED it and sat and pushed the button over and over again while repeating the words.
Alexis with her bear
Mommy, Alexis and bear preparing to say a temporary goodbye
At the end of our visit Toni, the psychologist and the doctor all explained to her again that we would be leaving but that we would be back for her soon. We then gave her huge hugs and kisses and said goodbye. Oh, how it broke my heart to watch her walk away.
Once Alexis had returned to her group it was time for Lily to say goodbye. Her clothes had been changed, documents has been signed and gifts had been given. The psychologist walked her out to the car, kissed her cheeks and handed her off to me. We waved goodbye, climbed into the car and watched the orphanage fade into the distance. Lily was a little scared at first, but as she drank in everything around her, she relaxed and soon she was laughing and playing with her daddy.
Freedom
Lily finally got to ride in a car. . . .she LOVED it!
We stopped at McDonalds on the way back to Sofia and learned that she REALLY enjoys fries. It was actually a relief to see her eat because, in the 10 days that I have spent with her, I have never seen her take a bite of anything that was offered.
Yummy french fries
We arrived in Sofia around 3:o0 and checked into our hotel. As soon as we were in our room and Lily realized we would be staying she began to panic. She ran to the window and then to the door and she opened it to leave. When we explained to her that we would be staying here she began what would be a 3-hour melt down complete with kicking, screaming, and crying. For three hours, one of us always had to be by the door so that she couldn't get out. For three hours she raged and grieved. She even packed her bags to leave (filled a grocery bag with her clothes, shoes, photo album and bear) and tried to drag our bags to the door as well. Fortunately, she allowed us to try to comfort and love her as she experienced the first waves of grief and loss that are often felt in adoption. We comforted and loved, but we also allowed her space.
When she was finally done, she crawled up into the bed with me, lay down and asked me to cover her with the blanket I had brought for her. She was absolutely exhausted, emotionally and physically. As she settled in she began to do what adoptive parents know as the "orphanage rock" (a self-soothing, full-body rock). I placed my hand gently on her arm, gave her her teddy bear and she stopped. I can't wait to get her home so that I can rock her every day and teach her that she no longer needs to rely only upon herself for comfort. Right before she drifted off to sleep she looked up at me and I smiled at her. She smiled back at me and then reached down and pushed the button on her bear and I heard my own voice say "I love you" in Bulgarian and English. It was just what I needed at the end of a very long day.
I am VERY glad that we will have a few days to focus our undivided attention on Lily before we pick up Alayna on Monday. This transition is going to be difficult for her and the grief and loss that she is feeling runs very deep.
Right now she is sleeping peacefully in our bed, just a few feet away. It is so surreal to finally have her with us after such a long journey. She is an incredible little lady and we are very blessed to have her as our daughter. As you can see, the "end" of this journey is really only the beginning. All of our girls have a long road ahead of them, but we are so very grateful to be able to bring them into our home, take them into our arms and show them the unconditional love of a family and of their Father in Heaven.
We were able to visit with Alexis for about an hour this morning. I knew from the moment that she walked into the room that this visit would be different. While she normally runs down the hall yelling our names and burst into the room and into our arms, today she simply walked into the room, stopped and stared at us. She absolutely knew what would be happening today and she was not at all happy about it. For the most part, she kept her distance from us today and throughout the visit she would ask us again and again why we were taking Lily and when we would be taking her. We were able to catch a small glimpse of the vibrant, feisty girl who has stolen our hearts when we gave her the teddy bear we made for her (it says "I love you" in Bulgarian and English). She LOVED it and sat and pushed the button over and over again while repeating the words.
Alexis with her bear
Mommy, Alexis and bear preparing to say a temporary goodbyeAt the end of our visit Toni, the psychologist and the doctor all explained to her again that we would be leaving but that we would be back for her soon. We then gave her huge hugs and kisses and said goodbye. Oh, how it broke my heart to watch her walk away.
Once Alexis had returned to her group it was time for Lily to say goodbye. Her clothes had been changed, documents has been signed and gifts had been given. The psychologist walked her out to the car, kissed her cheeks and handed her off to me. We waved goodbye, climbed into the car and watched the orphanage fade into the distance. Lily was a little scared at first, but as she drank in everything around her, she relaxed and soon she was laughing and playing with her daddy.
Freedom
Lily finally got to ride in a car. . . .she LOVED it!We stopped at McDonalds on the way back to Sofia and learned that she REALLY enjoys fries. It was actually a relief to see her eat because, in the 10 days that I have spent with her, I have never seen her take a bite of anything that was offered.
Yummy french friesWe arrived in Sofia around 3:o0 and checked into our hotel. As soon as we were in our room and Lily realized we would be staying she began to panic. She ran to the window and then to the door and she opened it to leave. When we explained to her that we would be staying here she began what would be a 3-hour melt down complete with kicking, screaming, and crying. For three hours, one of us always had to be by the door so that she couldn't get out. For three hours she raged and grieved. She even packed her bags to leave (filled a grocery bag with her clothes, shoes, photo album and bear) and tried to drag our bags to the door as well. Fortunately, she allowed us to try to comfort and love her as she experienced the first waves of grief and loss that are often felt in adoption. We comforted and loved, but we also allowed her space.
When she was finally done, she crawled up into the bed with me, lay down and asked me to cover her with the blanket I had brought for her. She was absolutely exhausted, emotionally and physically. As she settled in she began to do what adoptive parents know as the "orphanage rock" (a self-soothing, full-body rock). I placed my hand gently on her arm, gave her her teddy bear and she stopped. I can't wait to get her home so that I can rock her every day and teach her that she no longer needs to rely only upon herself for comfort. Right before she drifted off to sleep she looked up at me and I smiled at her. She smiled back at me and then reached down and pushed the button on her bear and I heard my own voice say "I love you" in Bulgarian and English. It was just what I needed at the end of a very long day.
I am VERY glad that we will have a few days to focus our undivided attention on Lily before we pick up Alayna on Monday. This transition is going to be difficult for her and the grief and loss that she is feeling runs very deep.
Right now she is sleeping peacefully in our bed, just a few feet away. It is so surreal to finally have her with us after such a long journey. She is an incredible little lady and we are very blessed to have her as our daughter. As you can see, the "end" of this journey is really only the beginning. All of our girls have a long road ahead of them, but we are so very grateful to be able to bring them into our home, take them into our arms and show them the unconditional love of a family and of their Father in Heaven.
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