OFFICIAL!

Five years ago today I became a mom for the first, second and third time, all in a matter of about 90 seconds. That day changed my life forever.


This morning I received the news that I will have the opportunity to become a mom for the sixth and seventh time, to two beautiful little girls waiting for me in Bulgaria! That's right folks! Today we received our official referrals, which means I should be on my way to Bulgaria in about 3 weeks!! Hallelujah! Now. . .where are those suitcases?!?

Happy Birthday Maren, Lukas and Jacob! It is such a joy and a privilege to be your mom!

(This picture just makes me laugh! I'm pretty sure Maren's wish is soon to come true. . .she will finally have sisters!)

The front lines. . .

I think it goes without saying that, as you advance to the front lines of a battle, things become more difficult. That has certainly been the case as we have moved to the front lines of this adoption.

It has been a difficult week in the trenches of adoption. Truth be told, it has been a difficult year. But this last week really rattled me to the core. I arrived home from a trip to Shriner's in Philadelphia on the 8th, to an e-mail from our Bulgarian agency, informing us that Little Boy's birth mother had withdrawn her consent for adoption. We would not be able to bring him home. We were absolutely devastated by the news. It was the 11th hour (our dossier had been translated, authenticated and was ready to be submitted to the Ministry of Justice) and we were giddy with excitement to finally be moving to the next step of this process. The news that we would not be able to bring our little boy home was completely unexpected and it knocked us off of our feet.

Due to Hague laws, we may never know whether his mother took him home or if he is still in an orphanage, unadoptable and alone. That has been the hardest part. Not knowing. My hope is that his mother realized his ability despite his disability and she took him home to be with his family. But even if she did not, I have an overwhelming peace that Heavenly Father has a great mission and purpose for this Little Boy and there is no doubt in my mind that He is watching closely and lovingly over him.

We have asked our agency to keep us informed if he becomes available again as we would return for him in a heartbeat. Although we may never hold him in our arms, we will always hold him in our hearts and we are praying for him every single day.

Because our dossier had not been filed yet, the Ministry of Justice asked us if we would consider committing to another "third child." Our agency had just received the files of 16 new children and sent them for us to review. Maybe it was not coincidence that our dossier had not been able to be translated immediately upon receipt (it arrived in Bulgaria on November 30th, but translation was not complete until the first week of January) or that the Ministry of Justice was giving us the opportunity to consider another child this late in the game. There were several children that leapt off the page and immediately stole our hearts. I was ready to commit to bringing another child home, but, after much prayer and discussion, Richard felt that we should move forward to bring the girls home.

I was angry, hurt and confused. We were approved for three children, we had raised the money for three children, we had room for three children. How could we leave a child behind? I just couldn't accept that this was the Lord's will. I fought. . .hard. Then I learned a valuable lesson. Was it coincidence that our dossier had not been translated immediately, enabling us to commit to another child when we found out we would not be able to adopt LB? No, I don't believe it was. I think that the Lord had left the door open for us to choose. Richard (after much thought and prayer) felt strongly that we needed to focus on getting the girls home as quickly as possible. I agreed that we should, but how could we leave a child behind when we had been given the means to bring another child home? In frustration, I turned to the scriptures, hoping to find peace and answers. I was looking for a particular scripture as I thumbed through the New Testament, but what I kept stumbling across over and over were scriptures reminding me that "Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). After stumbling across multiple scriptures with this theme, I realized that, what Heavenly Father's will really was for us, was that we move forward TOGETHER. Obviously He would support us in bringing another one of His children into our family if that was our decision and, of course, He would also support us if the decision was to move forward to bring our girls home. The most important thing is that we moved forward together. Once I had accepted that truth, I was at peace with our decision.

TOGETHER, we informed our agency to move forward with submitting our dossier. It was filed with the Ministry of Justice on Tuesday and we were informed that, if all was in order, our dossier should be reviewed on Friday and our official referrals for the girls would be issued. This had been the case with most of the other families with our agency, so we had no reason to believe that our dossier would not be reviewed on Friday (as long as the MOJ met to review it). By 10 am on Friday morning, I still had not heard from our agency and I knew that the news would not be what we had hoped. By 10:30 my fears were confirmed. The MOJ HAD met on Friday, but they had been unable to prepare our dossier in time for the meeting and still needed to update the girl's files, so our dossier had not been reviewed and the official referrals had not been issued. Another blow.

After "losing" three children and encountering delays (homestudy, USCIS, obtaining files, translation, submission, official referrals) at every step of this process, I was at my breaking point. How much more could I endure? I felt defeated. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and let the misery of the past week consume me.

Today, as I sat in church, I was reminded that, "If we allow them to, our trials will purify us rather than defeat us. They will teach us to have endurance, patience and charity" (Spencer W. Kimball). The last thing the enemy wants is for us to bring these girls home and he has certainly thrown some firey darts our way, but I CANNOT, I WILL NOT throw my hands up in defeat. I will endure, with patience, all of that is thrown at us, until I have those little girls in my arms because they deserve a loving home and family.

It has been a grueling week, one of the hardest of my life, but I have learned SO MUCH and I know that I am stronger because of the trials that we have faced.

We are on the front lines of this adoption my friends and victory is within our grasp. Please pray with us that our dossier will be reviewed this week and that our official referrals will be issued. Please pray that we will receive a travel date soon so that we can meet our girls and begin the final stages of this process. And please pray that we will be able to overcome any additional hurdles that are placed in our path to getting these little ones home. We appreciate your prayers more than we can express. We know that they are heard.

". . Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8)

I Believe

In Mark chapter 9, a man brings his son to the Savior, pleading with Him to cast out an evil spirit. ". .But if thou canst do anything," said the man, "have compassion on us, and help us (Mark 9:22)."

In response, the Savior said," "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

"And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief (Mark 9:24)"

When we began this adoption journey in February, we knew that we would need to complete this adoption without incurring additional debt. (For those unfamiliar with the costs associated with international adoption, or for those interested in pursuing an international adoption, to adopt three children with special needs from Bulgaria, our overall expenses will be approximately $30,000). In the beginning, the task seemed daunting, but we knew that, with the Lord's help, we could accomplish our goal, and so we got down on our knees and asked our Heavenly Father for assistance.

We worked hard to set aside every penny that was not being used for necessities. We held garage sales, bake sales, sold handmade goods and anything that wasn't nailed down, we hosted our ipod giveaway and our silent auction. We were continually humbled by the generosity of friends, family and even strangers. Whenever the money was needed (agency fees, facilitation fees, USCIS fees, paperwork, medicals, fingerprinting, etc.), the money was there.

Several weeks ago (shortly after mailing our dossier), I sat down to calculate the amount still needed to complete our adoption. Although I was amazed at the amount of money we had been able to come up with thus far, I was overwhelmed by the amount still left to be raised, and I wondered if we would truly be able to complete this adoption without incurring additional debt. I once again found myself on my knees, asking my Heavenly Father for the faith to know that the money would be there and that we would meet our goal.

The following day I loaded the kids into the van and made the 10 hour drive to Philadelphia for Evan's doctor's appointment. When we arrived at the Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House that evening, the social worker immediately asked me if I could step into her office. I followed her, puzzled by her request. Once inside her office she handed me a black leather bag. She explained to me that, inside the bag was a Christmas Jar, given to our family by an annonymous donor. Because our family also keeps a Christmas Jar, I knew immediately what I would find in the bag. (For those unfamiliar with this Christmas tradition, a Christmas Jar is a jar where you place your spare change at the end of each day and at Christmastime, donate the contents of the jar, annonymously, to someone in need.)

Fighting back tears, I thanked her and took the bag and my children up to our room. Once inside, I opened the bag and pulled out the jar. Inside that jar was more than just someone's spare change. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of this annonymous donor. What's more, I was reminded, once again, that our Heavenly Father is in all of the details of our lives and will provide all that we need, exactly when we need it.

I felt like the father who came to the Savior seeking healing for his son. "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." And, just as He has reminded me time and again throughout this process, He answered and said, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

We may never know the identity of the person who blessed us with their Christmas Jar, but we are deeply grateful for that gift and most importantly, for the reminder that our Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers and will bless us with all that we need, if we believe.

I believe.

Signed, sealed, delivered!

Well, I figured I had kept everyone in suspense long enough and it was time for an update :-)

Our dossier is complete and on November 24th, we packaged up our "baby" (signed, notarized, certified and apostilled) and sent it across the pond! It arrived in Bulgaria on November 30th and is now in the process of being translated and authenticated! We are hoping that it will be submitted and registered with the Ministry of Justice by the beginning of the year and that we will receive a travel date shortly thereafter! As was expected, time, that seemed to speed by like lightening prior to completing our dossier, has slowed to a crawl and each day feels like an eternity as we await news of when I might make the first trip. I am grateful to have the holidays to keep me busy (and they certainly have, which is why you have heard nothing but crickets chirping on my blogs), but no matter how busy we are, my babies in Bulgaria are never far from my thoughts. I am so anxious to finally meet them!

And the winners are. . . .

Before announcing the winners of our "Bulgaria or Bust" Silent Auction, I would like to again thank each and every one of you who helped make this auction a success. We were able to raise over $600 and we are so appreciative of the help and support of so many of our family and friends. All of you are such a big and important part of this journey and we feel blessed to be able to share this journey with you.

Now, without further ado, the winners of the "Bulgaria or Bust" Silent Auction:

Toddler Dress (Green/Yellow)- Tiana ($8)

"For the Birds" Rag Quilt Set- Cynthia ($60)

Toddler Dress (Buttons and Bubbles)- Cynthia ($22)

Toddler Dress (Flowers)- Tiana ($16)

"Feed the Birds" Baking Set- Cristi ($28)

Hand Knit Hat by Lollipops and Cupcakes- Cristi ($31)

Infant Car Seat Blankie by Pocketful of Posies- Shauna ($25)

"Bot Camp" Baby Rag Quilt Set- Tiana ($33)

"Sweet Cherry" Baby Rag Quilt- Tiana ($42)

Custom Barn Star- Cass ($60 + $15 for 3 small stars)

Fine Art Portrait by Creative Juice Photography- Jill ($35)

Hooded Bath Towel by Pumpkin Patch Designs- Cynthia ($28)

Custom Blog Makeover by Country Girl Designs- Cynthia ($40)

The "Thumbelina" by Cherry Blossoms- January ($10)

"Kiwi" Rag Quilt- Tiana ($67)

Photography Session with Charity Brown Photography- Liz ($30)

Custom Fairy Tale Art- Sarah ($20)

Butterfly Barrettes from Wynken, Blynken and Nod- Cynthia ($14)

Angel Ornaments- Tiana ($7)

Custom Felt Design T-Shirt- Julia ($25)

Vera Bradley Bags- Tiana ($38)

"Spring Fling" Baking Set- Angelea ($40)

Winning bidders have the option to pay via personal check/money order, paypal or to our grant fund at Reece's Rainbow.

If you choose to make your payment to our grant fund (tax deductible) we request that you do so by check rather than paypal (Reece's Rainbow absorbs all paypal fees so that the full amount of each donation can be credited to the grant funds of the children/families. As you can imagine, the paypal fees can become quite extensive, so payment by check, or including the cost of the paypal fees in your payment, are greatly appreciated). Checks for the grant fund can be made out to Reece's Rainbow and sent directly to us (we will send all checks to Reece's Rainbow together which will make it easier on the director of RR who does all accounting manually)!

To receive our paypal account information and/or our address to send payment, please contact me at desisdelights@gmail.com

When you contact me, please be sure to include your contact information so that we may ship your items to you or pass your information along to those who will be shipping your items.

We would also like to announce the winners of our giveaway! We are so grateful to all those who participated by donating, bidding and/or "advertising" that we decided to choose two names. And the two lucky winners are. . . .


Heather and Charity, thank you both so much for donating to our auction and for helping us get the word out! We appreciate your support so much! For your prize you may choose from the following:

16" Custom Barn Star
Felt Design T-shirt
6 Felt Chocolate Chunk or Iced Sugar Cookies w/sprinkles
Reversible Children's Apron

As always, we are overwhelmed by the love and support that we have felt from friends, family and even strangers as we work to bring our children home. That love and support is deeply felt and appreciated and we know that we could not do this without each and every one of you! You are all AMAZING!

"Bulgaria or Bust" Adoption Silent Auction

Welcome to our "Bulgaria or Bust" Adoption Silent Auction!

To be honest, I hate asking for money and I have a really hard time accepting it! But I have been overwhelmed by the generosity and support of family, friends and even strangers as we work to bring our children home from Bulgaria! I am very excited to be able to offer so many amazing items in return for your support!

Here is how it will work:

Each auction item will be listed in a separate post (so be sure to keep scrolling so you don't miss anything!). At the bottom of each post, the current auction price will be listed. If you wish to bid on an item, simply post a comment with the amount you wish to bid.

I will try to update the auction price as often as possible, but please be sure to check the comment section to ensure that you are bidding high enough to become the highest bidder.

The auction will run from Sunday, November 1st until Sunday, November 15th. At the close of the auction I will post a list of the winning bidders and ask that you contact me so that I can get your contact information in order to ship your item(s) or pass your information along to those who have donated items to the auction.

You will have several payment options. The first is to make your payment to our tax-deductible Family Sponsorship Grant with Reece's Rainbow (click on the blog button in the side bar for details. . .or to see a picture of "Sofia"). The second option is to make a payment directly to our personal adoption account through paypal. And the third option is to send your payment by personal/bank check or money order.

In addition to the auction, we will also be doing a GIVEAWAY and it is completely free (and easy) to enter!!! To enter the giveaway simply post our auction information to your Facebook page, Twitter or Blog to help us get the word out! Leave a comment on THIS POST to let us know that you have shared the news and your name will be entered into the giveaway.

And just what are we giving away?? The winner of our giveaway will have the privilege (at least, I'd like to think it's a privilege) of choosing one item from my Etsy shop, Desi's Delights (don't worry, I am slowly working on listing more items and promise there will be much more to choose from by November 15th!).

I would like to extend a HUGE thank you to all of those who have donated their time and talents to making this auction possible: Crystal Bailey, Katie Chapman, Charity Brown of Charity Brown Photography, Kiley at Cherry Blossoms, Heather at Wynken Blynken and Nod, Madeline at Lollipops and Cupcakes, Alyson at Pocketful of Posies, Country Girl Designs and, of course, my incredible family, for their support as I pulled all of this together! We appreciate each and every one of you SO much!

It's TRIPLETS!

No, we are not literally expecting triplets (been there, done that, grateful that there is no way I will ever experience a triplet pregnancy again)! The photograph above is of my very first ultrasound over 5 years ago. . . . the ultrasound that revealed that we were expecting not one, not two, but THREE babies! What a day that was! And what an adventure it has been ever since!

We will, however, officially be expanding our family by three once again!

The same day that we learned that our agency finally had "Sofia's" file, we also learned of another little girl. . . . a six year-old girl who had just been added to Bulgaria's list of waiting children at the end of July, whose file our agency had just obtained. The first time I saw her sweet little face staring back at me it took my breath away. I was immediately drawn to her and I found myself returning to that face many times throughout the course of each day. When we learned, two weeks ago, that we had not been chosen to be Desi's family, I was disappointed, but I knew that the Lord was not done with us.

Initially Richard said no to this other little girl. He did not want her to be a "replacement" for Desi and, we were already firmly committed to two children, which had been our "plan" from the beginning. But as the days went on I couldn't shake the feeling that we were leaving someone behind and I knew that someone was this little girl.

Last night, over my birthday dinner, I shared this nagging feeling with Richard and, after much discussion, we decided to take the leap and bring this beautiful little girl home as well! I could not have asked for a more amazing birthday "present" (or a more amazing husband!). In finding and committing to this little girl, I have realized Desi's purpose in our lives. Desi was the one who brought us to Bulgaria and it was our love for, and commitment to, Desi that kept us there during all of the ups and downs that we have experienced. There have been many times over the past 9 months that we seriously considered switching countries and/or changing directions, but we could not walk away from Desi. If we had not had not stayed the course, we would not have received "Sofia's" file and we would never have known of our other little girl.

There is no doubt now, as I look at the faces of the three children that will soon be mine, that these are the children that the Lord has always intended for our family. It has been a long (though faith-promoting) journey, and I know that it is far from over, but we are exactly where we should be and I am thrilled to be bringing these three, beautiful babies into our family!

And now. . . .a sneak peek of the beautiful "babies" that will, hopefully, soon be the newest members of the Rieben family. . .

CLICK ME!!!

In honor of a beautiful little girl. . .

We received word from our agency that the adoption committee met yesterday and ruled on the fate of Miss "D." Unfortunately it was not in our favor. Fortunately, we know that she WILL be going home and there is no doubt that she will be deeply loved by the family who is working to bring her home. Obviously we are disappointed that we will not have the privilege of seeing her sweet smile each and every day, but I feel peace knowing that she will be smiling with her new family wherever she is.

Earlier this year, I was inspired by a beautiful little girl to open a shop on Etsy. I wanted to do everything in my power to raise the money necessary to see that little girl's smile each and every day and so I got to work! Although I will never realize that initial dream, I will be forever grateful for the "presence" of that little girl in my life. It was her radiant smile that has kept me focused for the past 8+ months. It was her smile that kept me from giving up, from switching to another country, from throwing in the towel altogether. It was her smile that led me to the two children that we WILL be bring home. And so, in her honor, I am proud to announce the grand opening of Desi's Delights, inspired by a beautiful little girl who will soon know the love of a forever family. In Desi's honor, we will be donating 50% of all proceeds to the grant fund of another waiting child. From now until December 31st that 50% will go to Svetlana who is waiting in Ukraine.

Svetlana

Svetlana is a beautiful little girl who was born with arthrogryposis. She will be six years-old on Christmas day. Earlier this year, a wonderful family from Ireland (who we had the privilege of meeting in December 2007 while we were both in Ukraine adopting) committed to adopt Svetlana. Unfortunately, their social worker refused to approve them to adopt her due to her age and special need and so this family had to release her. They were devastated and we were heartbroken for them.

Svetlana is still waiting for her forever family and she is running out of time. She is blessed to have been able to remain at her baby house, but she will soon be transferred to an institution where her life will change dramatically.

If you are interested in donating to Svetlana's grant fund, please visit Reece's Rainbow today to make a donation (please be sure to indicate that your donation is for Older "Other Angel," Svetlana in Orphanage 20) and remember that 50% of all proceeds from Desi's Delights will also be donated to her grant fund.

Although we will not have the privilege of bringing Desi home, there is no doubt that the Lord brought her into our lives for a purpose and we are grateful for the 8+ months that her beautiful smile, even if only in a picture, has blessed our lives and our home. We also received word that the adoption committee approved our application to place "Sofia" and "LB" on hold for our family, so, while not all the news we received brought with it joy and rejoicing, we are absolutely rejoicing that these two beautiful "babies" will soon be joining our family!

In other news, we are very excited to announce that our Adoption Silent Auction will officially begin tomorrow, November 1st and will run through November 15th, so please don't forget to check in and browse through (and bid on!) all of the wonderful items that will be up for auction!

Silent Auction 1

As the time nears for us to submit our dossier and travel to Bulgaria to meet our children, we are working hard to raise the remaining funds necessary to complete our adoption. In an effort to raise these funds, we will be holding a silent auction on our adoption blog.

The auction will begin a week from today on Sunday, November 1st and will run through Sunday, November 15th. We have been working hard to gather and create a wide variety of items to auction and we are grateful to many of our family and friends for donating items as well.

As a sneak preview, the following photo's represent a taste of the items that will be available for bidding:

Children's Aprons and Baking Sets

Ragged Baby Quilts

Knit Hats

Boutique Hair Accessories

Custom Barn Stars

Felt Design T-shirts

And MUCH more! There is still one week left before the auction begins. If you are interested in donating an item to be auctioned, please contact me as soon as possible (you can contact me at desisdelights@gmail.com). If you run an Etsy shop or a business and would like to donate an item from your shop/business, I will include a link to your site in the auction listing in order to help promote your business.

Bidding will begin one week from today, so stay tuned!

Moving forward. . .

After months of standing still, words cannot even begin to describe how wonderful it feels to finally be moving forward! Just over a week ago, as I was packing to leave for North Carolina to visit my sister and her husband for the weekend, I received an e-mail from our facilitator in Bulgaria and it went something like this:

"Ready to scream again!? I have "little boy's" file in my hands!"

And boy did I scream . . .and cry and dance and drop to my knees to thank my Heavenly Father! It was quite a sight I am sure (and no, in order to preserve my dignity, I will not be posting a video of what this "happy dance" looked like!). In addition to "Sofia," "Little Boy's" (let's call him LB) file is now officially on hold for our family and it is nothing short of a miracle!

When Richard told me that he felt that we should inquire about whether or not "LB" was still available, I had very little hope that he would be and, after our experience with the girls, even less hope that, if he was, we would be able to obtain his file. At the same time, I knew that, if he was meant to be a part of our family, the Lord would prepare a way for us to bring him home. Now as I stand back and marvel at the miracles that have been worked to bring us to this little boy, I am reminded of a scripture in Isaiah (45:2), "I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight; I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron." There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord HAS gone before us and prepared a way for us to bring each of our children home. From the first moment I saw "LB's" face I knew that he was meant to be our son. I was devastated when, initially, the answer was "no," but what I didn't realize at the time was that, my impression was right, but the timing was not.

As if that news alone was not fantastic enough, we received our I-800A approval in the mail yesterday, which means we are just a few documents (FBI clearances), notarizations, certifications and apostilles away from sending our dossier to Bulgaria! We are hoping to have our dossier in the mail by my birthday (November 10th). Could you think of a better birthday present!? Me either!

The Adoption Committee in Bulgaria has resumed their weekly meetings. They have met twice now, so we are hoping that we will have news about "D" very soon. We do not want to submit our dossier until we have received the adoption committee's ruling because we cannot add children to our commitment application once the dossier has been submitted, so please pray that we will have a ruling by the time our dossier is complete.

1 down, 2 to go. . .

Guess what we did today?!?!


For those of you who have been immersed in the international adoption world, you may understand from the above pictures that our day was spent notarizing, certifying, apostilling and mailing our COMMITMENT APPLICATION for "Sofia!" After 7+ months of waiting we have FINALLY received her file and, at this very moment, the documents that will place her on hold for us are on their way to Bulgaria! Can you say HALLELUJAH!! We all threw up our hands and cheered today as we walked out of the UPS store, victorious!

I have not shared much about "Sofia" other than to say that we were waiting for her file, but she is a beautiful 7 year-old girl with lower limb differences (she is missing her right fibula and has a shortened right femur (she was also born with her left foot clubbed, but it has been surgically corrected) and scoliosis (all issues that we are very familiar with). She is very independent, smart and social and she is able to get around well with the use of a wheelchair. Her doctors in Bulgaria feel that she should be able to walk with the help of prosthetics and/or forearm crutches if that is her desire (and we think that our doctors here will likely concur). She shares a birthday with my mom. Some may feel that is a coincidence, but we would argue that it is not! You see, Joshua shares a birthday with Richard (something that we did not know until after we had commited to adopt him) and Evan's birthname (Valera) is the male form of my name, so, when we learned that "Sofia" shared a birthday with my mom (after requesting her file), we knew it was just another confirmation that she was meant to be a part of our family! She is a beautiful little girl and we cannot wait to bring her home!

As some of you may have noticed from the title of this post, our news about "Sofia" isn't the only thing that we have been holding back (yes, we have been sitting on this news for over a week. .I know, I know!). Some of you may recall the little boy with arthrogyposis that we were considering earlier this year. I had felt so strongly that this little boy was meant to be a part of our family, but Richard did not feel the same way. His file was returned to the Ministry of Justice and given to the next agency on the list and I knew that that door was closed.

Two weeks ago, as Richard and I were enjoying lunch together for our Anniversary, Richard asked me about this little boy and then asked if I could inquire about whether he was still available. I will admit, my first thoughts were not positive. It has been months since this little boy's file had been returned to the Ministry and I knew that it had already been sent on to another agency because I had seen him listed elsewhere. I just knew that the chance that he was still available or that we would be able to obtain his file was probably very slim, but I also trusted my husband's impression that we should inquire about this little boy again. Imagine my surprise when my facilitator contacted me a few days later to let me know that, not only was this little boy still available, but his file was scheduled to be returned to the Ministry just a few days later and she would be the next to receive it. We decided then and there that, if she was able to obtain the file, we would make the commitment to bring him home!

I had been devastated when we made the decision not to bring him home earlier this year, but I knew it was the right decision. I now realize that, if we had commited to him earlier this year, we would not have been able to adopt "Sofia" (we would not have received her file). The Lord's timing is PERFECT!

We are still waiting to learn if his file was returned on time and if it is ready to be given to our agency, but we are hopeful that we will be able to bring him home. We are also still waiting to learn the ruling of the Adoption Committee in the case of "D" (they will be resuming their weekly meetings in the next week are two so we are hopeful that we will hear something by the end of the month).

After we had our homestudy update interview earlier this year, I felt prompted to ask our social worker if she would approve us for three children. At the time, I just assumed that it would be good to be approved for one more "just in case" (you can always adopt fewer children than you are approved for, but you cannot adopt more than you are approved for, so it is better to play it safe). I was sure that there were two more children waiting to join our family, but I also trusted the feeling that prompted me to request approval for three. We are firmly committed to "Sofia" and, if we are fortunate enough to receive the file of the little boy and the adoption committee rules in our favor for "D," we have decided that we will bring all three children home! Can I just say, the Lord works in mysterious and wonderful ways!

So, there you have it! Finally some AMAZING adoption news to share!

Memory Lane Monday- Where it all began

Today's Memory Lane Monday will be brought to you by:

From the Trenches of Motherhood

Weary

"The National Benefits Center is unable to complete the processing of your Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country (Form I-800A) at this time."

Today we received a notice in the mail from the National Benefits Center (USCIS) that they cannot complete the processing of our I-800A until we complete and submit several revisions to our homestudy (while our homestudy states the dates and location of our initial homestudy interviews and home inspection in 2007, it only states the date of our study update and does not state that we were interviewed in our home and that a follow-up home inspection was completed (although they were). It also fails to state the country-specific eligibility requirements for Bulgaria). I am not sure how we missed these things in the many reviews and revisions that we went through before we received the final copy of our homestudy (or if we were just lucky enough to be assigned to a very particular NBC officer), but receiving this notice was another scream-into-my-pillow moment for me. Will we ever catch a break!?!

We have 45 days from the notice date to complete and submit the revisions. If we do not submit the additional information within 45 days, our application will be denied and we will have to resubmit our I-800A and all associated fees. Fortunately the revisions are minor and we should be able to complete and submit them with time to spare.

Despite this minor setback, I have been impressed with the efficiency of USCIS in processing our I-800A application thus far. We received our fingerprint appointments less than two weeks after submitting our application, were fingerprinted a week ago and received our "Request for Additional Evidence" this afternoon. I am hopeful that, once we have submitted our revised homestudy, we will recieve our approval just as promptly (I know, I am putting a lot of faith in USCIS, but so far, they have not disappointed).

In the meantime, we are waiting for the Adoption Committee's final ruling in regards to "D" and are still waiting to receive "Sophia's" file as well. I must admit that I am beginning to feel very weary. The process to bring the boy's home was a whirlwind, but there were not near as many ups, downs and in-betweens as we have experienced thus far with this adoption. Some days it takes every ounce of faith and strenghth that I possess to hold on to hope, but I know that our children are in Bulgaria and that the Lord's plan for our family (as well as His timing) is perfect.

As always, we appreciate all of the prayers and support from each and every one of you and look forward to the day when we can finally share some good news with you!

Hope

"To all who suffer—to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely— never give in.

Never surrender.

Never allow despair to overcome your spirit.

Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow, and gladdens every heart."

(For full transcript click here.)

Memory Lane Monday- Keith

While we were in Ukraine adopting Evan, we had the opportunity to spend some time with several of the other children in his orphanage. One of those children was Nikita. Nikita and Evan were neighbors, with cribs right next to each other, and, like Evan, Nikita spent his days confined to that crib.



Nikita would lay in his crib, rocking back and forth on his hands and knees all day long. During our 4 weeks in Ukraine, we never once saw him smile. He was tiny, depressed and, every day, another day closer to his 4th birthday when he would be sent to an institution where he would likely spend the rest of what was sure to be a short life. Our hearts ached for this little boy and from that point forward he was in our every prayer.


Several months after returning home with Evan we received a phone call from a sister from church. She informed me that she knew a family that was interested in adopting a child from Ukraine and wanted to know if she could put us in touch. I was excited to share our experience with this family and within a few hours I was on the phone with Jill. During our conversation she told me that they were hoping to adopt two children, a boy and a girl, younger than their daughter, who was six. My mind immediately turned to Nikita (who just happened to have a twin sister, Nastya). I told Jill about Nikita and Nastya and directed her to Reece's Rainbow where their pictures and descriptions were listed. A few days later, Jill called to tell me that they had committed to adopt the twins. We were over the moon that Nikita would be coming home to such a wonderful and loving family and we were humbled that our Heavenly Father had used us as instruments to help make that happen.

Last October, the Pierce family traveled to Ukraine to bring their children home. Unfortunately, they learned prior to traveling that Nastya would not be coming home to them. Another family had stepped forward to adopt her while the Pierces were gathering their paperwork and, due to Nikita's special needs, the judge had granted permission for the twins to be separated. Although devastated by this news, the Pierces moved forward in faith and accepted a referral for another beautiful and spunky little girl, Kristina.

In November 2008, Keith (Nikita) and Kristina Pierce came home! What a blessing it has been for us to be close enough to see them regularly and to watch them transform through the love of a family. The tiny, malnourished, sad little boy that we had known in the orphanage has blossomed before our eyes. He is active, happy, loving and making huge strides in his development every single day.

Keith and Evan Reunited (December 2008)

The Pierce family will soon be moving away, but we thank our Heavenly Father every day for bringing them into our lives and for being an answer to our prayers for this little boy! I still have to pinch myself when I see him standing in front of me, laughing, running and playing. This little boy who I worried might never know the love of a family, is HERE, right here, thousands of miles from where we first met him, thriving and happy and loved. Isn't our Heavenly Father amazing!?







Keith is not the only child from the Artemovsk Baby House that we have had the privilege of seeing come home to their forever family. Ava, Igor, Daisy, Nico, and Katrina have all found their forever families as well:

Igor

Ava

Daisy

Nico

Katrina

"Miscarriage" in Adoption

I have always been a very vivid dreamer. Several nights ago I had a dream. In the dream we traveled to Bulgaria to meet our daughters, but when we arrived "D" was not there. Our other daughter (lets call her "Sofia" (this is Bulgaria after all :-) ), met us with a smile and a hug and we were delighted to finally meet her, but "D" was nowhere to be found and soon we were told that we would not be able to bring her home. I awoke from the dream saddened and confused, but quickly told myself that I was simply dreaming my fears and that all was well (although I was suddenly much more aware of this possibility that I have always known existed).

Yesterday I awoke to a feeling that something just was not right and I felt on-edge all day long and could never quite put my finger on it.

This morning, as I received the news from our facilitator that another family had submitted an application for "D," I realized that the dream and the unsettled feeling may have been Heavenly Father's way of preparing me emotionally for this news.

As is my routine most days, I woke up this morning and, before waking the kids, I checked my e-mail. There was a message from our facilitator. I quickly opened it and as I read through it I felt like someone had kicked me right in the stomach. Our facilitator informed me that, the day that she filed our application for the girl's, the other agency (the agency who has had the girls files since the beginning of the year) had also filed an application. This was not the news that we were expecting to receive and it came as a blow.

Technically, because the other agency is in physical possession of the file, their application takes precedent over ours. However, because this agency has had the file for longer than the allotted 2-month period and because the Ministry of Justice has personally contacted them and asked them to return the file every week for the past five weeks, there is a very small chance that the Adoption Committee may rule in our favor (since we would've filed our application MONTHS ago had the other agency returned the file on time).

At this point we have several options. The first option is to withdraw our application for "D." There is a part of me that feels that this would be the best option. Certainly not because I do not want to bring our girl home (because I absolutely do with every fiber of my being), but because there is another family out there who is probably just as excited and anxious to bring her home as we are and who likely loves her just as much. I am sure that this family knows nothing of us or of our desire or our struggle to bring her into our family and that part of me cringes at the thought of putting another family through the grief that we have experienced today.

But then there is another part of me. . . . the part that has grown to love this little girl, who I have never met, just as deeply and completely as I love every one of my other children, the part of me who has ached to bring her home and hold her in my arms, every day for the past seven months. . .that wants to fight for her because I feel so strongly that she is meant to be our daughter and because, if this other agency had returned her file when they were supposed to, we would not be in this situation right now. There is a part of me that feels that, if we back down and walk away, this agency will never have to answer for their actions and someday, another family may find themselves in the same position that we are in, experiencing the same loss, the same grief.

What is the right answer? At this point, we are not sure. The decision lies in the hands of the Adoption Committee and, while there is a small chance that they might rule in our favor, there is also a very good chance that they will not. The consolation is knowing that, no matter what they decide, "D" WILL be coming home to a loving family, even if that family is not ours. And of course we know that, ultimately, the Lord is in charge and His will will rule and all will be as it should.

In the meantime we are still waiting to learn of "Sofia's" status (her file has also been with this other agency since the beginning of the year and, as of last week, had not been returned) and have also requested the information of several little girls whose files our agency is currently in possession of.

While there is still much uncertainty, there are a few things that we DO know. We know that our children are in Bulgaria (we have received that witness MANY times), we know that we will bring home at least two children (again, this has been very clear to us), and we know that, whoever we bring home, whenever that may be, will be exactly as our Heavenly Father intended it.

Many tears have been shed today and I am sure that there will be many more. The grief that accompanies the "loss" of a child, even a child you have never met, can be crushing, but our hope is strong and we will continue to move forward, placing our feet on whatever path the Lord would have us walk.

I would like to take a moment to publicly thank the countless friends and family who have offered their love, support and encouragement throughout this process and to express our gratitude towards our Heavenly Father for blessing us with such incredible support. On this most difficult day I received countless phone calls, e-mails and even a special visit from my wonderful friend Jill, complete with hugs, chocolate, root beer, cherry pie and roses. We could not do this without your support and so we hope that you know just how deeply we appreciate each and every one of you!

After almost 7 months of waiting, we found out this morning that we lost "D" to another family. My heart is breaking. I will post the details later, but for now, I am going to go have myself a good cry!

Memory Lane Monday- Deja vu?

While the original design of "Memory Land Monday" on this blog was to share adoption memories not previously shared publicly, I couldn't help but recall the following experience as I made the trip to the county courthouse and state capitol this week to have adoption documents county certified and apostilled. While we are still several months away from being "done" with this part of the process, remembering this part of the experience certainly made me excited about the day that we are, finally, DONE!

Monday, August 27, 2007

IT'S DONE!!!

Hallelujah, our dossier is DONE! Well, it has been "done" in the sense that we have had all of the documents for the past three weeks, BUT, we FINALLY got approval from our agency to submit it without Evan's surname in the appointment request letter (For those of you who are in the dark about this "issue," in order to request a specific child from the SDA in Ukraine we must include certain information in our appointment request letter to enable them to locate the child's file. We were hoping to submit the letter with his first AND last names, but the director of the orphanage has been on vacation all month (along with everyone else in Eastern Europe) and we have been unable to get it). Rather than using his first and last names in our request we simply used the information that we had available (first name, birth date, city, orphanage) and are hoping that it will suffice (we will still ask the orphanage director for his surname and pass it on to our facilitator just in case the SDA is unable to locate his file with the information provided, however).

Now that I have confused everyone completely with senseless details, let me tell you about my day! On Friday Richard and I took the last of our documents to be notarized. Unfortunately it was too late in the day to run them by the courthouse to be county certified so I decided to add that to my "to do" list for today. I woke up bright and early this morning, got dressed, woke the kids, fed them, dressed them and finished gathering all of my paperwork. Thanks to my wonderful friend Stacey (seriously Stacey, you are FANTASTIC), I was able to run my countless adoption "errands" this morning WITHOUT my children in tow (they are too young to realize how happy they should be that I didn't drag them along for the ride, but I will be sure to tell them how lucky they were someday!).

I left the house this morning around 9 am. My first stop (other than to gas up the mommy mobile) was the Greene County Courthouse. Ohio is one of several states that requires additional county-level certification of documents. These certifications simply state the the notary who notarized your documents is in fact a notary commissioned in that county. I spent about 25 minutes at the courthouse and then hopped back into the mommy mobile with my newly certified documents and headed for Columbus (just over an hour away). Upon arriving in Columbus I proceeded to drive around for 15-20 minutes looking for a place to park. As luck would have it, I managed to find a metered parking space between my two destinations. . .as luck would NOT have it, I had somehow managed to walk out the door this morning WITHOUT my stash of quarters for the meter!!! After rummaging around in my purse, the cupholders, and the floorboards, I managed to come up with about 30 cents which bought me about 15 minutes. With no other options, I quickly said a prayer that the meter maids would skip over the street I was on and I started to head for the Franklin County Courthouse about 4 blocks away.

The Franklin County "Government Center" is an enormous building and I have to admit, after visiting the Greene County Courthouse earlier this morning (very small, very straightforward), I was slightly overwhelmed. The information I had found on their website had instructed me to go to the 23rd floor so I headed for the elevators. Now, I have to say, I generally enjoy a good elevator ride, but these were like elevators on speed. By the time I reached the 23rd flood (which probably only took about 3 seconds. . .seriously) my head was spinning and I felt like I was going to puke. For a minute I thought I had just stepped off an amusement park ride rather than an elevator. So, when I walked into the office labeled "Clerk of Courts" and was told I would need to go back down to the 3rd floor, I was less than thrilled by the thought of getting back onto the warp-speed elevators. I took a deep breath, stepped onto the elevator and held on for dear life. Eventually, with the help of several very helpful people, I found the correct office and was able to get my last two documents county certified.

Once I was done at the courthouse I headed back to the mommy mobile to see if I could scrounge up any more change (by this time the parking meter had been empty for a good 20 minutes), but alas there was no more change to be found. Again, I said a quick prayer that the meter maids would be on their lunch break and unable to hand out parking tickets and walked the 4 or so blocks to the Secretary of State's Office to have all of my documents apostilled. I have visited the SoS several times now, so this trip was old hat. I was in and out of that building (whose elevators, thank goodness, operate at normal speeds) in less than 15 minutes. Stepping out of that building I felt like a new woman. My paperwork was DONE!!! I could just feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of time to celebrate as I needed to high tail it back to the mommy mobile before the meter maids came back from lunch. Heaven must've been smiling down on me today because thankfully, my windshield was free of parking tickets when I returned.

I made the drive home and relieved Stacey of her duties (really Stacey I cannot thank you enough. . .just thinking about dragging my children through the streets of downtown Columbus (and taking them on warp-speed elevator rides) makes my head spin. . .you really are FABULOUS) and then collapsed into a pile on my couch and took a few minutes to revel in the elation of having our paperwork DONE!!!

Unfortunately the director of our agency is on vacation this week (a very well deserved vacation I might add) so she won't be able to send our dossier off to Ukraine until next week, but really, I am just glad that it is done. I will be sending it to the agency tomorrow and then I will be throwing myself a little party! For some people, the "waiting" is the most stressful part of the adoption process. While I admit that it is hard to wait, it is probably the LEAST stressful part for me. No, my stress comes from having that paperwork sitting on my desk, knowing that it is still in my hands and that I am still in control of it. Once it is gone, out of my hands, and I have no control over the process, I actually relax a little and it is wonderful!

It feels SO good to be DONE!!!

Progress

We finally took a few steps forward in the adoption process last week! We started the week off by mailing our I-800A application to USCIS (with supporting documents and fees). Although I had looked over the application at least 100 times and had received the green light from our agency (who had also looked over the application for us), I still felt like hyperventilating as I walked out of the UPS store. The application was received and the check has been cashed and now we wait (a skill at which we have become quite proficient), with bated breath, to received our appointment to be fingerprinted (again) and ultimately, our approval (which we hope to receive without any delays).

On Tuesday morning we heard from our facilitator again. She had spoken with the Ministry of Justice who confirmed that the files had not yet been returned, but she instructed our facilitator to have us file a commitment application for our girls anyway. She informed us that the other agency had been contacted yet again with a demand that they return the files immediately. Our facilitator was also told that, if we filed a commitment application for these girls, as soon as they were returned to the Ministry, they would be given directly to our facilitator (rather than being given to another agency first). So, we spent Wednesday filling out paperwork and having it notarized and on Thursday morning, Lukas and Jacob accompanied me to have the documents county certified and apostilled (we had a great time and they were excited to be involved in the process of bringing their sister's home). By noon the documents were on their way to Sofia (scheduled to arrive this Thursday)!

While I am excited to finally be moving forward, I think I will remain cautiously optimistic until our facilitator has those files in her hands and the girls are officially placed on hold for our family. In the meantime, I am thanking my Heavenly Father for the progress that we have made and continue to look forward to watching His plan unfold!

Memory Lane Monday

For those of you who frequent my terribly neglected "Motherhood" blog, Memory Lane Monday's will likely sound familiar to you. Over the past few months, I have found that I often find comfort in the memories of our adoption journeys to our son's Joshua and Evan from Uzbekistan and Ukraine. Many of those memories have been recorded in the archives of this blog, but there are many of them that have yet to be publicly shared and so, throughout the course of our current adoption journey, I would like to take the opportunity to share some of those cherished memories with you.

In comparison to our current adoption, our adoptions from Uzbekistan (9 months) and Ukraine (5 months) progressed fairly quickly. As we were going through the process however, time seemed to stand still.

We first saw a picture of our son Joshua in March of 2007. I instantly knew that he was meant to be our son. From that moment on we moved at rapid speed to complete our homestudy and assemble our dossier, which we submitted in June (2007). As soon as we had completed our paperwork, time seemed to stand still. Every day seemed like an eternity and I spent most of the waking hours daydreaming of my beautiful baby boy and the day that I would finally hold him in my arms. That day could not come quickly enough.

(Our first picture of Joshua)

We finally received word in late September that I would be traveling to bring Joshua home in late October. The next month was a whirlwind as I made travel plans, moved my family to a new home and packed my bags for a two week adventure on the other side of the world. I could not wait to meet my son.

The day after we arrived in Uzbekistan, we (my step-father, facilitator and I) traveled by car to Samarkand, where Joshua's orphanage was located. Upon arrival we met with our translator (Sanat), checked into our hotel and then hurried off to meet with the "Mayor" (Hokim) whose signature would finalize our adoption. During my meeting with the Mayor he expressed concern that we had not met Joshua yet and asked that we visit the orphanage before he signed the adoption decree. It was already late in the afternoon and time was running short, so we crowded into the car and rushed to the orphanage. I was so anxious. The moment that I had been waiting for had finally arrived.

That first meeting lasted less that ten minutes. Once we arrived at the orphanage, we were invited into the director's office and a caretaker was sent for Joshua. She brought him into the room a few minutes later and placed him into my arms. He looked right into my eyes and held my gaze. A flood of emotions rushed over me. Love, excitement, fear, trepidation and relief all washed through me as I stared into Joshua's eyes. A moment later he was taken from my arms and we were rushing back across town so that the Mayor could sign the decree declaring Joshua our son. I would not see Joshua again for several more days (for the complete saga, please click here).

A few days later, we were back at the orphanage to pick Joshua up. I was so excited to take him from the orphanage. Walking out of those doors with my baby in hand brought with it a huge sense of relief. He was mine. . .forever. That first night was amazing. The following in an excerpt from a blog post following Joshua's "Gotcha" day:

"It was hard to sleep on Friday night because, after almost 8 months of looking at his picture and wishing I could hold him, love him and smother him with kisses, I was in awe that all I had to do was roll over and there he was, just inches from me! I laid there for hours just watching him sleep peacefully." (click here for the entire post)

(My sweet, sleeping, Uzbek angel the night I took him from the orphanage)

I have since spent many, many more nights watching him sleep peacefully and marveling at how much my Heavenly Father must love me to have blessed me with such an incredible little boy. Every time I watch him sleep I am reminded of the sweetness of this day, of this moment and I look forward to making similar memories with my girls. I know that when that day comes, as I am watching them sleep peacefully beside me, I will know that every stress, frustration and difficulty within this process will have been worth it a thousand times over.