Friday, October 19, 2007

I refuse to come undone. . .

I cannot believe that, in less than 24 hours, I will be on my way to Uzbekistan to bring my baby boy home! My step-father and I are leaving for New York tomorrow afternoon where we will stay the night before departing for Uzbekistan on Sunday evening. The past few weeks have flown by. When I received word that I would be traveling soon, this day felt like an eternity away. Now I feel like I have barely had time to blink!

At this point it seems almost inevitable that I will be in Uzbekistan for three weeks rather than the two I had been hoping for. At first, the thought of being away from my family for another week was devastating, but now that the dust has settled a bit, I have come to accept that this will likely be the case. We were thrilled in the beginning when we were told that we would be able to accomplish all that we needed to in just two weeks (we assumed that it would be three from the start). We knew we would be pushing it, but felt that it could be done. So essentially, we are just returning to the time line we began with. While the thought of being away from my family for so long is still very difficult, I know that I will enjoy the extra week to bond with my sweet baby and I am looking forward to those precious moments that just he and I will share (because heaven knows we won't have many of them once we get home)!

Adoption (no matter where you are adopting from) is a very unpredictable, ever shifting, ever changing process. We knew that when we began this journey. We trust our facilitator and know that she is working very hard to ensure that this process is a smooth one. Unfortunately there are some things that are simply out of our control. Rather than coming undone, I choose to roll with the punches. There are still many unknowns, but the hand of the Lord has guided this process from day one and I know that the He will continue to do so. I am leaving this in His hands and I know, I KNOW, that all will work together according to His will. Sure there are times when my stomach is in knots and my heart feels like it is going to pound right out of my chest (and I am sure that there will be many more of those moments to come), but in the midst of the storm, I feel totally at peace. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for that!

I have no idea what adventures the next few weeks will hold, but I am so grateful to be here and know that, with the help of my Heavenly Father, I will have the strength to overcome any obstacles that may come into my path!

I may not have a chance to update my blog again before I leave tomorrow, but I PROMISE to post updates and pictures while I am in Uzbekistan. I appreciate so much, all of the love, support and friendship that so many of you have offered us on this journey. It has been priceless and has helped me through many difficult times throughout this process! I can't wait to share my joy with all of you when I finally have my sweet Joshua!


Anonymous said...

Oh, Valerie, you just couldn't have said it any better! I feel the exact same way! And if I didn't truly believe that this is God's will and that He has been intimately involved in this process, I think I'd have jumped ship a long time ago! I wish you the smoothest trip and the most amazing time with your baby! I am so excited and happy for you! I can't wait to hear every single detail!!!!

Tasha said...

Godspeed on your journey.

I am reminded of a passage from the book of Joshua that seems appropriate.

Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee, whithersoever thou goest.
Joshua, 1. 9

Palmer Family said...

Val-good luck and travel safe! We are praying for you and your sweet family. Richard-good luck with the triplets while Val is gone. I wish we were closer and could come and help. Maybe sometime next year after you have both boys home and have adjusted to 5 kids (and we have had this baby) we could come and visit you all again.
love-the Palmers

Charissa said...

I hope you will update your blog frequently...with photos! I'll be watching.... :)

melissa said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! I of course anxiously await hearing about your journey and look forward to hearing about it. Give that sweet little boy a huge hug for all of us!