The Villemure Family:
Thank you for allowing me to introduce my growing family. In 2006, after nearly 4 years of infertility treatment and many losses, I gave birth to my very sweet Connor. The pregnancy to bring Connor into the world was woven with fear, despair and loss because I lost his twin at 10 weeks into the pregnancy. He is my medical miracle baby born thru a very costly procedure called egg donor in-vitro fertilization. Prior to Connor's arrival my then husband was not very open to adoption. Meaning he would entertain conversations to pacify my need to be a mother. Shortly after Connor was born my marriage dissolved and I evaluated my life and my goals and desires. For 18 months I considered what I wanted. I knew I wanted to build my family but I felt carrying a pregnancy to term was too risky for Connor to be without a mom because I nearly lost everything by having Connor naturally. Thank goodness for my wonderful doctors, they literally saved my life.
Since having a natural born child would prove too risky, I began to consider adoption again. I fought a good fight to convince my ex-husband this was how God intended for my family to be formed. I soon began researching and felt the adoption world slipping thru my fingers, I settled on Guatemala then is closed, China was already closed, then I settled on Kyrgystan and just prior to making a decision on agency it closed... I was losing heart and direction. Then one afternoon I spoke to an agency with a program in Bulgaria and I immediately found my heart. Within a few weeks I saw my sweet Elina's profile. The moment I saw her I knew, my heart sang but I needed to spend the weekend to really know that I would be the best mother for her. That I had the ability to parent a child missing both legs, one above the knee and the other below the knee. I am not certain what the driving force was fate, destiny or pure heavenly intervention, but Elina was meant to be my daughter I know that with every ounce of my being. She came home in March 2010 and was a little over 5.5 years old, she spoke little English, but I could see that she was going to add spice to my life. Elina is now 7.5 years old, she is my spunky monkey. We have found our way thru the valley or grief and pain in a little ones heart who lived with changing shifts of caregivers for 5.5 years. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain and the terrorizing fear that a child goes thru when their walls come down, when they want to trust but don't have the capacity to understand what trust is. I can attest that it has been over 4 months without an adoption meltdown. Knock on wood... I really hope I didn't jinx it! Elina now has the ability to connect her actions with how she emotionally feels and even find the source of her poor choice. For example, choosing to ignore, recently when she received a time in after being asked to pick her coat up about a half dozen times I asked her to find the source. She ended up connecting her behavior to having multiple caregivers and ignoring their requests, her words "Because why should it matter mom? They walked away and the next person didn't know what they told me so I would ignore their requests too."
So now that I feel Elina is very secure in her attachment and her place in our family, I have decided to step onto another path of adoption. I debated on domestic, going to Bulgaria or possibly Russia. I felt as a single parent I could only parent a healthy child, that ruled out Bulgaria. So Russia or domestic, which one? I have struggled with the decision for over a year now. Then I looked at Reece's Rainbow for the hundredth time in a week and saw a little boy and I began to explore the adoption of a HIV+ child. I saw him as my child, he looked like my Connor, my little boy who welcomed "sister" home with open arms. Another family stepped forward for him before I made a final decision and I ran the other way into the domestic realm. No matter how many agencies and facilitators I spoke to I know my heart was in international adoption and one day my friend Viviane began asking me about this SN child or that one. That conversation led me to Reece's Rainbow again and soon I looked into big blue eyes and knew "Danny" was my son maybe I should have stopped there but I kept looking and I was sweet "Dante". I struggled with the decision for two days of which boy I would choose to be my son. I barely slept, couldn't concentrate, kept looking into their eyes asking something to stand out as a reason to pick one or the other. Then on the third night I went to sleep with a finally prayer for God to guide me in my decision. I "gave it up to God" and I woke serene and knew the answer. Both boys were my sons, there was no reason to choose as God had intended both boys to be my sons. My son is on cloud nine to be getting two brothers. I find it ironic that in September, before I began discussing adoption with my children, that Connor brought a preschool project home of a hand and arm cut out of brown construction paper, the hand cut out was the trunk of the tree. Connor placed a green leaf on each of the branches (fingers) they said mommy, sister (he only calls her sister not Elina), Connor, Matthew and Jacob. So I asked, "Connor, who is Matthew and Jacob?" Connor responded, with a duh Mom don't you know expression, "They are my brothers." What was I thinking?
So let me introduce you to my boys "Danny" and "Dante".
I have begun fundraising efforts, please help my boys come home. Maybe buy Pampered Chef items for gifts for Christmas, purchase puzzle pieces for the boys to know you were part of their journey, or donate to their grant funds on Rainbow (tax deductible and paid directly to the agency for their fees).
1 comment:
Yvonne is an amazing mom. These 2 boys are going to be so lucky!
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